As society has progressed, many of us have swapped physical interaction for online interaction and daylight for artificially emitted blue light — including our children. We’re seeing toddlers with faces glued to smartphones and tablets, and as kids reach school age, they’re often encouraged to spend time on iPads and other devices to do schoolwork.
But what does this mean? What are the potential side effects? How much screen time is too much?
Research findings suggest that blue light can impact sleep patterns, social media use is linked with anxiety, depression and body image symptoms, and internet addiction disorder has become a medical diagnosis in Europe. In addition, there is no arguing that every minute you or your child is staring at a screen is a minute you’re not doing important social and emotional activities such as making eye contact, having real spontaneous conversations, moving your bodies, getting sunlight or playing outside.
[Read: 5 Things to Keep in Mind Regarding Teens, Technology and Digital Detoxing.]
To better manage technology use in your home, here are a few of my favorite tips:
Minimize technology during family time.
Earlier this year, University of British Columbia researchers presented very interesting findings at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology’s annual convention in Atlanta. In a study which followed over 300 participants, lead author and doctorate student Ryan Dwyer discovered that just having their cellphone present at the dinner table with family and friends was enough to cause subjects to feel distracted and to report feelings of diminished overall satisfaction and boredom in comparison to their counterparts who didn’t have their phones with them.
It’s a good time to reflect on what’s happening in your own home. Do you have phones present during meals and conversations? Does your child seem distracted around devices?
Perhaps you can start with the dinner table. Do you have a no electronics policy at the dinner table? If not, implementing one may be just the thing to give your mood and family a little extra boost. Put the electronics away and prioritize physical and verbal communication.
[Read: How to Customize a Healthier Approach to Screen Use for Your Family.]
Prioritize real conversations and eye contact.
Dr. Jenny Radesky of Boston Medical Center, who has been studying the impact of digital devices on developing brains, told NPR that from face-to-face interactions children learn language, and about their emotions and how to regulate them. “They learn by watching us how to have a conversation, how to read other people’s facial expressions,” she noted. “And if that’s not happening, children are missing out on important development milestones.”
In other words, kids who spend too much time looking at a screen are missing out on crucial developmental milestones that come from playing, interacting, exploring, learning and socializing in the real world.
Introduce the concept of technology guidelines to your family.
Technology isn’t all good or bad. I recommend setting technology guidelines for the household. This is a comprehensive set of rules and recommendations guiding the entire family’s use of tech devices and platforms. The creation of these rules should be a collaborative effort, where everyone in the family gets to take part and have a say.
However, recognize that a parent and child have not earned equal access. Parents must work, pay bills, buy groceries and book vacations, often on computers. So be clear of the reason behind the differences in rules. Operate as a unit. Have an open, honest conversation, but don’t be afraid to be the parent — in other words, set the parameters of the conversation, then let your kids roam freely within it.
Besides meeting on common ground, when establishing new tech rules in the household, it’s important to be consistent in our parenting style. For example, if you’ve always been a bit of a permissive “jellyfish parent,” your kids might be confused as to why you’re all of a sudden being an authoritative “dolphin parent” and standing your ground. This confusion may lead to frustration, anger, and in some cases, even lashing out. So before proceeding, we must address and consciously discuss these changes. If this is the case and you are venturing into new territory, communication will be key. That means explaining what’s behind the change and what your goals are as a family in the long run, as well as specific short-term goals.
Make sure the rules you decide on are clearly stated, and not wishy-washy to leave less room for making excuses or exceptions. For example, instead of simply deciding there will be “no phones at night,” go further to say what time everyone in the family should turn off and put away their phones. Or perhaps it’s simply establishing a no tech rule for everyone in the family between 5 and 8 p.m., so that everyone can really come together and connect.
Model a healthy balance when it comes to tech use for your children.
Parents need to lead by example. Your tween or teen will have an easier time following the rules if they are fair and don’t appear to be hypocritical. Not to mention, it’s a good way to keep our own tech use in check as well.
[See: 9 Surprising Things That Happen When You Go on a Digital Detox.]
Check in with each other a couple times a week about how you’re feeling, and don’t be afraid to share you’re own struggles. Your kids will appreciate knowing that you are on the same page as they are — tech limits are no breeze for anyone living in the digital age.
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How to Manage Technology Use in Your Home originally appeared on usnews.com
