WASHINGTON — I’m not from here. Unlike most of the sports media folks in this region, I didn’t grow up living and dying with the local teams. That outside perspective means sometimes I don’t understand every historical reference or nuance, but it also means I can tell you this with absolute certainty: The teams here are not normal.
Every team in every market frustrates and angers and disappoints its fans from time to time. But in no place I have ever lived, or worked, or visited, are the professional clubs in such a constant state of self-sabotage.
By any measure short of titles, it should be a great time to be a D.C. sports fan. It’s the only market with a winning team in all five major professional sports. The Caps are the best team in hockey for the second year in a row. The Nats are favorites to win their fourth division title in six years. The Wizards just broke the longest division title drought in professional sports. Even the Burgundy and Gold have put together consecutive winning seasons for the first time since the early ‘90s.
And yet.
The Nats got it done on the field Monday, but blew Opening Day from a fan perspective so badly that they’ve been running PR apology circles all week. It would be one thing if this was an isolated incident, but this happens every year.
If I could sum up #OpeningDay at @Nationals park in one word what would it be? Lines.
Lines. Lines. Lines. Lines. Lines. Lines.
— Martin Matishak (@martinmatishak) April 3, 2017
Love my team @Nationals but stadium staff gets F- for opening day. Lines were too long all day long and no baseball etiquette
— Crooked Finger Fan (@Crkdfingerfan) April 3, 2017
Sure, there are new gameday staffers unaccustomed to their positions. That’s what training is for.
Yes, the ballpark is packed to capacity for one of the only times all season. But you have all offseason to prepare for this date.
Instead, fans dealt with infuriating lines, some due to broken electronic payment systems. That, in turn, forced people to pay in cash. Which meant the ATMs ran out of money.
@nationals totally unprepared for #openingday! Cash only operations; empty ATMs! Sad! pic.twitter.com/GkeIP5FK1i
— Tyler Longpine (@tlongpine) April 3, 2017
Opening Day is the single most important chance to make a good impression on the casual fans, the ones who haven’t already committed to ticket packages, but might if they enjoy themselves at the ballpark. Better luck next year.
Meanwhile, the tire fire in Ashburn has been lit once again, with man-baby egos driving out the only competent talent evaluator the team has had in years. In the time in and around when Scot McCloughan was smeared and run out of town, the team has seen its two best wide receivers and best defensive lineman walk, signed no impact free agents, and still hasn’t resolved the Kirk Cousins situation other than committing to massively overpay him for next season.
#Redskins winning percentage under Vinny Cerrato was .459
Redskins winning percentage under Bruce Allen is .397
And fans make fun of Vinny
— Chuck Sapienza (@chucksapienza) March 11, 2017
Are you ready for some football?
Not content to sit this one out, the Wizards brought us the latest in unnecessary meddling Thursday, as The Washington Post reported that television color commentator Phil Chenier would not return to the booth next year.
Chenier is the only full-time broadcaster in the franchise’s history, working for 33 years following his 10-year NBA career, most of it with the Baltimore and Washington Bullets. This, just as the franchise puts the finishing touches on its best regular season since the ‘70s. If the decision itself wasn’t unpopular enough, the timing is absolutely insane.
Not the Legend !!RT @PostSports: End of an era: Phil Chenier won't return as CSN's Wizards primary … https://t.co/vQdj10oNom
— John Wall (@JohnWall) April 6, 2017
Yes, that’s John Wall, the star point guard and face of the franchise, reacting to the news Thursday morning. I could include practically anyone else’s opinion, but do you really need to know any more than that?
It’s all enough to almost make me understand the bipolar swings that fans here go through. The Caps just won the Presidents’ Trophy for the second straight season. Maybe they can celebrate by announcing they’re dumping “Unleash The Fury” just in time for the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
