So it should come as no surprise that 30-second Super Bowl ads — which cost more than $1 million on average to make and another $5 million to air, a total of about 35 percent more than the entire production budget for the feature film “Get Out” — now have trailers and teasers of their own.
But we’re not going to stoop so low as to review teasers to ads. Those companies that only released commercials for their commercials — Skittles, Amazon, Tide, etc. — have made us wait, so they too will have to wait for their reviews.
Here, we’re only looking at the spots that are actually available — and that we could find in an afternoon of research — and grading them on their effectiveness through a composite score of memorability, humor and cachet around the water cooler the next day.
Flip through the slides below as we go from worst-to-first in our own grading of this year’s Super Bowl ads.
Squarespace
Relying on minimalism and a single, recognizable lead actor (as they did with Jeff Bridges in the past), Squarespace is hoping to follow the same formula here. But Bridges is the dude, and Keanu Reeves just a dude. It gets the message across, but doesn’t leave much of a mark.
Memorability: 1/5Humor: 2/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 8/20
Groupon
Woof. Groupon’s 2011 Super Bowl ad didn’t exactly go over so well, but seven years later, they still don’t seem to have the formula figured out. Tiffany Haddish is funny, and using her in the spot appears to be setting up a chance for her humor to shine. Then … huh. Missed opportunity.
Memorability: 2/5Humor: 2/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 10/20
Michelob Ultra
Chris Pratt has charisma to spare to carry a 60-second spot, though this one feels like it’s maybe leading up to something greater than it actually does. The whole thing feels like too many little ideas jammed together with no real regard to making sure the overall concept gets paid off. In other words, it’s a Super Bowl commercial.
Memorability: 2/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 10/20
Budweiser
The self-proclaimed “King of Beers” combined their tried and true formula of going for the heartstrings with the American advertiser’s favorite new trick: a languid, acoustic cover of a classic rock song, in this case Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me.” Here, we learn that the alcoholic beverage giant is “actually good” for answering the call to deliver water to the states and territories impacted by natural disasters last year. Notably missing on the list of places that could use water: Flint, Michigan. If the emotional manipulation in past ads worked on you then, it will again here.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 0/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 11/20
M&M’s
Envisioning Danny DeVito as the personification (anthropomorphism? What exactly are the talking M&M’s?) of the red M&M was a good comedy idea rife with possibility. That being said, the gig works for exactly 20 seconds, then jumps the shark with some unnecessary physical comedy that could have been used in any setting. It’s a waste of a good premise.
Memorability: 3/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 5/10Overall Score: 11/20
Lexus/Black Panther
Action movie-car crossovers are well-worn at this point, and it’s enough to make you wonder sometimes if the only purpose of those films anymore is just as extended product placement to sell vehicles. Nevertheless, this is well shot, with Run The Jewels providing the head-bopping soundtrack. It might be a little over the top, but at least it’s entertaining.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 1/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 12/20
Stella Artois
Oh hey, Matt Damon. The Stella Artois clean water campaign has been going for a bit now, but this is a particularly interesting juxtaposition against the Budweiser ad later in this list. They’re both owned by the same parent company, InBev. Is this a competition? A collaboration? Anyway, there’s no humor here, but a compelling, easy solution to an often ignored problem.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 0/5Water Cooler Cachet: 8/10Overall Score: 12/20
Avocados from Mexico
Chris Elliott appears to be reprising Will Ferrell’s Mugatu character from the brainwashing scene in “Zoolander” in this spot, which is all about its surrealist humor. Yeah, things get a little weird, and yeah, that cream-colored turtleneck should be killed with fire, but it’s colorful, amusing and doesn’t drag, so overall, not a bad effort.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 3/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 13/20
PETA
PETA’s never been afraid to get controversial to get people talking, and this should do the trick. Using James Cromwell to deliver the message adds a level of gravitas, though one wonders how much anyone who is chowing down on chicken wings or sliders is going to want to be lectured to midgame.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 1/5Water Cooler Cachet: 9/10Overall Score: 14/20
Pringles
Given some of the dark, serious commercials in this year’s broadcast, there’s an opportunity for the funniest ones to stand out. Bill Hader stars in this Pringles spot which, while not uproarious, will be the reason your nephew is shouting “Nobody asked you, Kevin!” for the next three weeks. Solid effort.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 4/5Water Cooler Cachet: 6/10Overall Score: 14/20
Doritos vs. Mountain Dew
If you’re going to book not one, but two A-list actors for your spot (not to mention two musicians), you’d better make the most of them. This spot does this for the most part, and the lip-syncing gag is at least chuckle-worthy. Though it ends with a bit of a dud, it will definitely be one of the most-talked about ads.
Memorability: 4/5Humor: 4/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 15/20
Febreze
Too often, these ads get so far away from the actual product that you forget what you’re even watching. Febreze has a good conceit here, though, with the #BleepDontStink campaign. The humor should work with most people, even if there’s not a lot of wow factor. And the line at the end is legitimately funny.
Memorability: 3/5Humor: 5/5Water Cooler Cachet: 7/10Overall Score: 15/20
