After navigating her own experience with menopause, bestselling author, journalist and menopause advocate Tamsen Fadal has made it her mission to change how society talks about this natural stage of every woman’s life — promoting more awareness, education and support for menopause and perimenopause.
U.S. News talks with Fadal about what inspired her advocacy, why open dialogue matters and how she hopes to empower women to see menopause not as an ending, but as the beginning of a new chapter.
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Q: You’ve been such a vocal advocate for ending the stigma around menopause. What inspired you to start speaking out? What kind of reaction have you seen from women who hear your message?
I’m actually over the moon with the reaction that we’ve seen from women, both in perimenopause and menopause.
When I started this conversation in 2019-2020, nobody wanted to talk about it. And now, I have women stopping me in the street saying, “Oh my gosh, thank you so much because I’ve been able to find a doctor. I’m not suffering anymore.”
So, I’ve just been really excited by it, but it’s sad that it took us such a long time to normalize the conversation (around menopause), find the vocabulary to say these words out loud — and to try to bring men into the conversation too because it’s really important.
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Q: You’ve said before that we need to talk about menopause the same way we talk about puberty or pregnancy. What kinds of conversations do you wish both women and men were having more openly?
I think it’s such an important conversation. When we first produced “The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause,” it was the first global film about menopause. We’ve been seen in over 100 cities and 45 countries, and now (I’m) working on another one (about) perimenopause. The number one question that we got was, “How do I talk to my partner about this? What do I do? How do I talk to my partner about what’s going on? Because I’m so confused about how I act. How do I talk to somebody I work with or an employer?”
So, we put together a men’s guide to menopause to really try to help the men in those rooms or the men that weren’t in those rooms understand what was going on.
We partnered with the telehealth company, Midi, to push this out so we can reach more men and more partners in business places because I think it’s important that men understand this isn’t something to laugh at. This isn’t something that we’ve all kind of said “Ha-ha” about in the media and movies.
It’s really something that affects a woman’s life, and the sooner that we can understand the symptoms and figure out how to solve those symptoms, the better off we are.
Q: What prompted you to write your book about menopause?
I wrote the book, “How to Menopause,” because I really wanted women to not only understand the symptoms of what happens in the doctor’s office, but then also figure out everything that goes on outside of their career, relationships, friendships, mindset — career pivots.
It’s really important to me that women know there’s another season, and it’s an exciting one, for sure.
Q: Many women still associate menopause with loss or aging. How do you hope to reshape that narrative on menopause?
Women at this age are not invisible. Our best years are not behind us. There’s so much to look forward to. You just got to really understand what’s going on and understand that you’re going to go through some of these symptoms. There are solutions for these symptoms. And when you get on the other side of them, it’s a beautiful thing.
I think we’ve been conditioned to believe that those great years when we were stronger, smarter, wiser are behind us. I think these are our bolden years, not our golden years like they used to be.
Q: What are the most common misconceptions about menopause and perimenopause that you’ve encountered?
There’s so many. I think the first one is that it happens when you’re old — that that’s not the case. We start going through these hormonal changes — some women in their late 30s, early 40s, so you can be in that perimenopause transition for four to 10 years.
We were never told that. We were like, menopause happens when you’re much older. So, that’s one big one.
I think the other big one is there’s a lot of confusion about hormone therapy. I think it’s really, really important that women get that education and understand what’s going on so they can walk into their doctor’s office armed (with the right information).
I’m not a doctor, I’m a journalist. And the reason that I wrote that book is so women have a guidebook to walk in and say, “Hey, this is what’s going on with me. What can I do? What solutions are available to me?”
Unfortunately, we’re in a place right now where a lot of the doctors are not educated about this. It’s a sad thing, and it’s not their fault. They weren’t taught this in medical schools, and they’ve had to educate themselves just like we had to do that.
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Q: What was the hardest part about going through menopause for you?
Yeah, I think it was not knowing. I think it was the brain fog. Brain fog really knocked me down and my confidence at work. That was the toughest part for me.
I didn’t have my mother around. My mother died when I was younger, so I never had her to talk to, so that was always a difficult part. I know a lot of women that had their moms don’t have them to talk to about it because they haven’t brought it up.
I would say that all of us, I hope that — when it comes to the next generation and educating and teaching — we can lead by example.
Q: For the women who haven’t gone through menopause or perimenopause yet, what advice would you give them to help them prepare for having these conversations with their daughters and the next generation of women?
I think the biggest thing that we can do is make sure that we educate these young women. I want (them) to know everything they have to know about this way in advance. Don’t think that you start dealing with this way down the line. Mid-30s is when you start paying attention to this stuff so we can talk about a long, healthy lifespan.
I’d also like people to not laugh about (menopause) and make it the butt of every joke.
I think it’s really, really important that we normalize it and make women feel comfortable talking about it.
For young women that might see their moms going through it, they should know what their mother’s experience was when she went into menopause, what were her symptoms or how severe they were — just so she can understand what’s ahead and not feel frightened by it.
Q: What is your personal menopause treatment like?
I’m on menopause hormone therapy. It’s been just a gamechanger for me. I am on estrogen cream (vaginal), estrogen patch, progesterone and testosterone. For me, it’s been a gamechanger for a lot of different reasons. I can sleep. I’m not walking around with hot flashes all the time, and I feel like I am paying attention to what I need to pay attention to because my brain’s not foggy because I’m actually able to get rest.
I think there’s a lot of misconception. I lost my mother to breast cancer. There was a lot of confusion and scary headlines about that, that hormone therapy — and estrogen, in particular — causes breast cancer. We have seen one research study after another saying it is the most effective treatment for (symptoms of) menopause. And I think that it’s important that you know that information.
Figure out if you’re a candidate for it. Not all women are (candidates), not all women want to take it. And that’s completely okay because everybody goes through it differently, but at least know what you’re dealing with and find a doctor that you can talk to and have an honest conversation with (about) “What are the pros and cons?” “What’s right for me?” “If I decide I want to do it, what else can I do to take care of myself?” “Do I need more protein in my diet?” “Do I need more fiber?” “Should I be working out every day?” Should I do heavy weights or do cardio?” “Should I be doing something to pay attention to my mindset? “What can I do for my brain health?”
All of those are really important questions, and it’s never too early to ask those questions.
Q: What is your personal message for women entering menopause or perimenopause?
Listen to me, you have beyond got this. I promise you that you’re going to get some help, and you’re going to be on the other side of it without any question. But don’t wait because you don’t have to suffer. You do not have to suffer. That is ridiculous. That’s what we thought we had to do, and you don’t do that. There are solutions. I promise you.
Q: What final message would you like to make sure people hear about menopause?
I want men to ask questions. I want men to get involved in this conversation. I want you to stop thinking that it’s just a women’s health issue. And I want you to pay attention — whether it comes to the workplace, whether it comes to home, whether it comes to friends, whether it comes to your mom, your sister. Ask questions. It’s time.
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A Conversation With Tamsen Fadal, Menopause Advocate and Producer of The (M) Factor originally appeared on usnews.com
