When Zita Christian’s husband, Dick, passed away from Alzheimer’s disease in July 2022, the first holiday season was profoundly difficult. Christian, 77, of Manchester, Connecticut, felt like a zombie, moving through tasks on autopilot while emotions were raw. She spent her first holidays with her daughter’s family in Rhode Island but avoided most festive activities and preferred retreating into solitude.
“Grief felt intense, with tears always close to the surface. Simple triggers would bring a flood of emotions no matter where I was,” says Christian, host of the “My Spouse Has Dementia” podcast.
As time passed, the grief and loneliness didn’t vanish, but it became more bearable. Christian compares it to the formation of a pearl: An irritant that gets coated over time until the sharp edges smooth out. The second holiday season was a bit easier, and she looked forward to spending it with family.
“This coming season will be fun because my only grandson’s first serious girlfriend is joining us,” she says. “We live in these cycles of life, and there’s a whole new cycle of relationships happening in our family. That’s a very positive thing and gives me hope during the holidays.”
The holiday season can be an emotionally challenging time for many seniors, even those who haven’t experienced the loss of loved ones. With families often living far apart, the absence of close friends, chronic health conditions or being homebound can amplify feelings of loneliness and isolation. The festive season tends to magnify these gaps in social connections, making this time especially difficult.
What Is Social Isolation?
Social isolation occurs when someone has minimal contact with family, friends or community, either by choice or due to circumstances like geographical distance, health issues or life changes. Nearly one-fourth of American adults ages 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated, according to a 2020 report by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine.
The U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm on the consequences of social isolation, calling it a profound threat to our health and well-being in a 2023 report: Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.
“It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death,” the report states. “The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.”
One study found that those affected by chronic loneliness and social isolation have approximately a 50% increase in the risk of developing dementia than those who are not affected.
Living alone, geographic area, physical or mental health issues and lack of reliable transportation are common risk factors of social isolation for seniors. AARP has an online tool on connect2affect.com that can help you determine your risk.
The good news is there are different ways that can help bring some cheer into your holiday season and help ease isolation.
Here are 10 ways to help older adults battle holiday isolation.
[READ: How Loneliness Impacts Your Health and 10 Ways to Combat It]
1. Engage in Local Holiday Events
Many community centers, religious organizations and libraries offer holiday events, both in person and online. Look for groups hosting activities — such as holiday book clubs, holiday markets, performances, craft workshops or holiday-specific cooking classes — to meet and interact with others.
Local holiday gatherings can also be a chance to learn about local resources and services specifically designed for seniors, like support groups, senior centers or other social programs. This can help you stay connected year-round, not just during the holidays.
You can find events near you through the local newspaper, word of mouth, online and community bulletin boards at your library or local shops.
[Read: 6 Tips for Aging Alone]
2. Volunteer Locally
Giving back and volunteering can be incredibly fulfilling by bringing a sense of purpose while helping you connect with others in a meaningful way and combat feelings of depression and isolation.
“One way to connect during the holidays is to find opportunities to serve other people such as helping at a youth center or volunteering to serve holiday meals to those in need. When you serve other people, it connects you to the bigger human story and gives you a sense of accomplishment and connection,” says Dr. Jeremy Nobel, the author of the book “Project UnLonely.”
Food banks, shelters, charities and senior centers often need extra help over the holidays. If in-person volunteering isn’t possible, some organizations also offer remote volunteer options.
“There are many opportunities such as writing letters to military service members, phone support for lonely people or doing hands-on activities such as sewing, quilting, greeting cards and artwork. You can even make up homeless care packages that can be especially meaningful around the holiday season,” says Sally Alter, a contributor to Quora and author of several books, including “A Practical Guide to Overcoming Loneliness.”
Organizations to find something that sparks your interest include:
[READ: How to Make Friends as an Adult]
3. Reach Out
Don’t hesitate to reach out and let family or friends know you’d appreciate their company, especially during holiday weeks when feelings of isolation can be more intense. People often become so absorbed in their own lives, especially during the holidays, that they might not recognize what you need unless you express it clearly.
Ask family members or friends to set up regular check-ins. Instead of texting or emailing, pick up the phone. The act of speaking to someone creates a sense of belonging and can also help foster stronger relationships.
“My daughter, two younger sisters and some close friends were a source of strength and comfort during that first holiday season after my husband passed away,” Christian says. “At the time, I felt numb but fragile at the same time. It must have been difficult for them to know what I needed, but they helped me get through some of those lonely and sad times around the holidays.”
4. Discover Virtual Gatherings
Setting up video calls or group chats can give you regular social touchpoints, which can make the holiday season feel warmer and more connected. Video calls during family meals or holiday traditions, such as baking or decorating, can help you feel connected and engaged, even if you can’t be there in person.
“Sometimes seniors are reluctant to adapt to technology, but FaceTime, Zoom or other platforms allows you to see your family or friends, which helps to lessen the feeling of isolation,” Nobel says.
5. Adopt a Pet
If you’re open to the idea, pets can be wonderful companions that bring daily comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Having a pet can offer great companionship, unconditional love and give people meaning and purpose in their lives.
In a national survey of pet owners and non-pet owners, 85% of respondents agreed that interaction with pets helped reduce loneliness, and 76% reported that human-pet interactions helped reduce social isolation, according to the report commissioned by the Human Animal Bond Research Institute.
If you do not feel like you can take on a pet full-time, many animal shelters offer “holiday fostering” in which you can care for an animal temporarily.
Pets also have positive effects on feelings of loneliness and isolation beyond the holiday season. For example, having a pet can be a catalyst to conversation and social interaction when you take them on walks or to a dog park.
6. Hire Help
Bringing in someone for a few hours once or twice a week, like a home health care worker to help with health care needs, can provide companionship and social interaction, not just help with physical necessities. Trained aides can help seniors engage in holiday traditions and activities they might otherwise struggle with, such as decorating, baking or attending community events. This can create a more inclusive, happier holiday experience.
Eldercare Locator, a service of the U.S. Administration on Aging, can help you find providers in your area as well as information on other services you may not realize are open to you. You can call them at 800-677-1116 or visit their website at eldercare.acl.gov.
7. Revisit Social Media
For some, social media can be a great tool to connect with friends and family and to enjoy getting a snapshot of their lives, especially around the holidays.
However, social media can be a double-edged sword: Engaging on social media can both minimize and increase feelings of isolation and loneliness, so use it with caution.
“Social media can make it seem that others are leading more exciting or fulfilling lives than they truly are. However, some people find social media a good way to keep in touch with family and friends by sending posts and photos to each other,” Alter says.
One 2023 study, published in Frontiers of Psychology, showed that active social media use has a dual impact on loneliness, with the potential to both increase and decrease it. The added interpersonal interactions can decrease loneliness, but feelings of being left out and being excluded can increase feelings of loneliness.
If you begin to find yourself feeling lonelier and more isolated when using social media, it is not the tool for connection and social interaction for you.
8. Connect Online
There are many online websites and apps that can help connect you with people and activities that can help lessen the burden of isolation, especially during the holidays.
According to Alter, good online resources for meeting new people include:
— Meetup.com, which pairs you with people local to your area who enjoy the same interests
— Nextdoor.com, a neighborhood-focused app that allows you to connect with people in your local community and find events, groups and local information.
“The internet can be used in a productive way by taking online classes, joining a book club, playing games with others, doing jigsaw puzzles or card games and joining groups with people who share your interests,” Alter says.
9. Engage in Community
Faith-based groups can offer consistent social interactions, act as a supportive community and foster belonging through shared values and beliefs, especially around the holidays. For example, do the children in your faith community put on a holiday play? Engaging with children and sharing their holiday excitement by volunteering your time to help can be a heartwarming way to foster feelings of connection and community while helping to keep the holiday blues at bay.
Senior centers offer a welcoming environment designed to provide older adults opportunities for social interaction. Many organize engaging holiday events, volunteering opportunities and facilitating both practical and emotional support during a time that can be hard for some, making the holiday season more joyful.
10. Practice Self-Care
Prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being with self-care can make a big difference. Treating yourself kindly, especially during a time of year when expectations are high, can help ease feelings of isolation.
“Before you can connect with others you need to connect with yourself,” Nobel says. “Ask yourself what the holidays mean to you. Explore your thoughts, for example, by journaling or some other form of creative expression.”
Establishing personal holiday rituals, like cooking a special meal, decorating or watching a favorite holiday movie, can bring comfort and joy. These rituals can be soothing and serve as a reminder that holidays don’t have to revolve solely around large gatherings.
Bottom Line
The holiday season can be especially difficult for seniors who may feel isolated due to living far from family, losing loved ones or being homebound with chronic health conditions. Physical limitations, financial concerns and health issues can make it harder to engage in festive activities, leading to a sense of loneliness and isolation.
It is important to recognize and understand feelings of isolation, as it can have negative long-term health effects such as high blood pressure, stroke, cognitive decline and greater susceptibility to diseases like the flu.
Fortunately, both in-person and online activities can help create a sense of connection and bring warmth to the holiday season and throughout the year.
More from U.S. News
How to Make Friends as an Adult
How Loneliness Impacts Your Health and 10 Ways to Combat It
How to Relieve Stress and Calm Anxiety
Easing Holiday Isolation
originally appeared on usnews.com
