During high school, many students begin to express a desire to pursue a medical career. Their parents naturally will encourage them to study hard and should resist the temptation to do the work for them. But what else is within the power of parents to help their child realize the dream of becoming a doctor?
Here are some tips for encouraging your child to get on the right track and stay on it.
Encourage Conversations With Science Teachers and Advisers
As students prepare to apply for undergraduate school, their science teachers may have insights into which colleges are best suited for their goals. Encourage your child to discuss his or her goals with teachers and advisers.
Once they arrive at college, they will be assigned an adviser to help. Your son or daughter may need your assistance to find a college where they will want to learn and not feel intimidated. The status of the school is less important than how well your child studies in that environment and enjoys his or her studies.
I have known a few families where parents were more invested in a particular school, either undergraduate or medical school, than the student. Please remember that students do better when they do not have to worry about whether their parents will be satisfied with their choice. Education is challenging enough without this extra pressure. The best school will be where they can be relaxed and concentrate on the work, not on their parents’ perceptions of their choice.
Many students who attend small liberal arts colleges are just as well prepared to enter medical school as those from larger universities. Premed advisers at a student’s college or university can guide in appropriate course selection and emphasize the importance of volunteer work, selection of activities and possibly research.
There is one caveat I have regarding premed advisers, and that is a tendency to overload the first year for some students, who end up feeling that they are not doctor material. For many students, two science courses with labs their first year in college may not be the best recommendation.
If they never took calculus in high school and try to tackle that on top of the sciences, they can feel overwhelmed. When they start to do poorly and fall behind, they begin to feel they aren’t cut out for medicine.
From my perspective, success in one science and lab the first year can build their confidence. There are ways to add courses during summers or double up later in their college career when they are more comfortable with their study techniques.
[READ: How to Make Sure You Fulfill Medical School Requirements for Admission.]
Encourage a Focus on Activities That Enhance Medical School Applications
Most students think far ahead and engage in significant volunteering from their second or third year, but some don’t. Those who plan to start their volunteer effort right before or after graduation may not be able to demonstrate adequately their willingness to serve others. The same might be said for research if the student plans on applying to medical schools with an emphasis on research.
Volunteering in high school is nice and can be encouraged to develop a good habit of helping others. However, volunteering during college is the recommendation, as what students do during high school will not carry the same weight.
Here’s where parents can have a large impact. You can guide your child to think differently about his or her activities during college. In addition to organized volunteer efforts, there are options during breaks at home. Even during the pandemic, students found innovative ways to contribute such as offering online tutoring, delivering groceries or meals to people who were shut-in or elderly, and running errands for someone in need.
Most med school admission committees pay close attention to the ratio of hobbies to activities such as volunteering, shadowing doctors and research work. Thousands of hours on a hobby may make the student successful in one arena and may make the parents happy.
Nonetheless, service and helping others without reward is expected of med school applicants. Why is this important? Doctors spend years sacrificing for others when it isn’t convenient for them. We used to ask ourselves in med school admissions, “Will this applicant come into the hospital when it’s a cold winter night and he or she has been asked to cover for someone else who is sick or can’t get through to the hospital?”
While the committees don’t want students to totally give up their hobbies, they want to see that students are able to place service and study ahead of pure enjoyment, something that will be required during medical school and residency.
Admissions committees view it as a good sign and indication for selection if volunteering, shadowing and research are already part of a student’s regular activities, particularly if he or she has been engaged in those activities for several years prior to applying to med school.
Remember that nonservice activities or hobbies are not required by admissions committees, but service activities are. To be competitive, be sure your child is actively engaged in volunteering or somehow serving others. Shadowing and/or exposure to practicing physicians — such as scribing — will also be needed for the med school application.
[Read: What a First-Year Medical School Student Can Expect.]
Help Your Child Learn How to Fail and Bounce Back
Parents can definitely help their child master patience and persistence before med school. Some grow up having to sacrifice for younger siblings. Others have not learned as early about sharing or facing disappointment.
Supporting your child in dealing with loss and failure through the years is important for the development of resilience, which they will need during their medical career. Delayed gratification is a first step. If children are rewarded too quickly, they don’t develop the necessary patience for success later.
Medical students wait a long time before they can perform certain tasks or procedures. They may even have to wait until their residency or fellowship.
Parents can help their children develop persistence and a work ethic. Some examples are assigning household chores, having them care for a grandparent or tend a garden, or encouraging formal employment. No matter how brilliant or efficient a student is, he or she still needs a great deal of patience and persistence for success in life.
Everyone fails at some point. Failure is part of life. Students who have never experienced defeat will surely be faced with it at some point during their medical career, if not in medical school.
Parents can help their children develop mental fortitude, the ability to learn from mistakes and self-forgiveness — all of which bring recovery and resilience. Learning these skills under the protective support of parents is easier than when alone. Some of the best ways to develop skills for failing followed by recovery are to engage in group or self-competitive academic or physical activities.
[READ: Is Medical School Right for You?]
Help Redirect Your Child From Online and Social Distractions
There are higher rates of anxiety and depression among students who spend more time online. Gaming may have been controlled at home from the perspective of how much time was allowed. But this can get out of hand in college, especially in a student who might be anxious or depressed.
I have seen students fail and drop out of college or even medical school because they couldn’t give up their addiction to online gaming. Better to let kids know it can happen and avoid excessive play earlier in life. Yes, eye-hand coordination can be a benefit, but keep it under control.
Teach Your Child to Avoid Procrastination
Putting things off is a struggle for many people, and students are no exception. We all know nagging doesn’t help and often backfires. Still, learning how to avoid procrastination is an area where parents can influence their children.
A first step is to discover why your child procrastinates. Sometimes it is fear of failing if they haven’t developed resilience. One common reason is that he or she may be waiting for inspiration that doesn’t come. If that’s the case, share the cart-before-the-horse concept and explain that starting an action will naturally lead to inspiration. They just need to take that first tiny step. Action comes before motivation.
Another important concept is doing the hardest thing first, before the fun or easier tasks. To paraphrase Mark Twain, eating the ugly frog should be the first activity of the morning because it will be the hardest thing you have to do all day. We teach our med students if you have to eat two ugly frogs, eat the uglier one first. I have even given them little green plastic frogs to sit on their desks beside their computer as a reminder.
Breaking up a big task, such as a thesis, into smaller components and scheduling in outline form when each will be done can be helpful. Baby steps can prevent feeling overwhelmed when anxiety takes over. I have seen many overcome procrastination with just a few simple rules that they learned to adapt.
As a parent, you have more influence than you probably know. You can be helpful in many ways — not by doing the work for your child, but by guiding him or her to skillfully and confidently jump the hurdles on the path to becoming a physician.
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Advice for Parents of Premed Students and Medical School Applicants originally appeared on usnews.com
