From Bob Dylan to Green Day to Sting, musicians frequently write songs about loneliness and heartbreak. While it makes for catchy lyrics and memorable tunes, experiencing loneliness can lead to serious health consequences, research shows.
According to a 2023 Gallup Poll, loneliness affects 44 million American adults, which is equivalent to 17% of the population. While the trend has been declining since the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, loneliness continues to affect the well-being of millions of people. The national poll found that young adults under age 30 and those in lower-income households suffered higher levels of loneliness.
Older adults are at increased risk for loneliness and social isolation. A 2020 report by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine found that more than one-third of adults ages 45 and older feel lonely and nearly one-fourth of adults ages 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. Living alone, losing close family members or friends and suffering from chronic diseases contributes to loneliness in older adults.
Feelings of loneliness are associated with a higher risk of heart disease, mental health issues and premature death.
In recent years, the issue of loneliness and social isolation has gained increased attention, research and focus. The U.S. Surgeon General’s office has sounded the alarm on the “loneliness epidemic” across the United States and recommended a national strategy to drive more connections through a whole-society approach.
“The harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces and civic organizations, where performance, productivity and engagement are diminished,” stated U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy in a 2023 report: Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. “Given the profound consequences of loneliness and isolation, we have an opportunity, and an obligation, to make the same investments in addressing social connection that we have made in addressing tobacco use, obesity and the addiction crisis.”
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What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is something that we all feel at some point in our lives. It’s part of being human.
But loneliness is far more than just experiencing occasional sadness. It’s defined as being in emotional distress from a lack of close interpersonal relationships.
Loneliness can affect anyone and everyone, including young adults, older people, people who live in big families or those who have been married for many years. Anyone can feel lonely if they experience unfulfilling or unrewarding emotional connections.
“Not being married can be a risk for loneliness, but not all marriages create fulfilling relationships and sometimes lead to loneliness,” says Sally Alter, author of several books, including “A Practical Guide to Overcoming Loneliness.”
Loneliness and being alone are different.
“You can live alone — either by choice or out of necessity — and not feel loneliness,” Alter says. “I have lived alone since my husband died from suicide in 2000. While it took me a while to enjoy my own company, I no longer experience loneliness and live a full, rewarding life.”
While social isolation and loneliness are often used interchangeably, it’s important to note that they are not one and the same. Social isolation denotes few social connections or social interactions, but that person may not necessarily experience loneliness, whereas loneliness involves the perception of isolation or meaningful connections — the discrepancy between one’s desired and actual level of social connection.
Establishing meaningful human connections is key to fighting loneliness and social isolation, but they provide us with so many other benefits, as well.
“Relationships are incredible at helping us cope with major challenges in our life,” says Dr. Marc Schulz, professor of psychology at Bryn Mawr College in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania and author of “The Good Life” with Robert Waldinger. “They help us figure out who we are and what is important to us and they connect us with our past and give us a sense that life is larger than ourselves. Those who report being lonely are telling us that they don’t feel like anyone has their back or really knows them.”
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Signs of Loneliness
Loneliness can appear in various ways. Here are some common symptoms that may be a sign of loneliness:
— Decreased interest in activities: A previously engaged individual may lose interest in hobbies, events or gatherings they used to enjoy. They may seem disinterested or detached from their usual activities.
— Difficulty concentrating: Loneliness can impact cognitive functioning by resulting in lack of concentration, inability to make decisions or difficulty remembering things.
— Emotional fluctuations: Loneliness often brings about emotional changes. Someone may show more sadness, moodiness, irritability and unhappiness. They may also experience lower self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness.
— Lack of close relationships: The person may talk more about the absence of close friends and connectionswith others in their lives. They may express a desire for more companionship or intimacy.
— Overreliance on technology: Excessive use of technology, such as spending a significant amount of time on social media or online platforms, can be an indication of loneliness. It may serve as a way to fill the void of human connection.
— Physical signs: Loneliness can lead to physical changes, including fatigue, headaches, lack of appetite, sleep disturbance and a weakened immune system.
— Self-destructive behavior: In extreme cases, loneliness can lead to engaging in self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse,overeatingor self-harm as a coping mechanism or cry for help.
— Social withdrawal: The person may start avoiding social interactions, isolating themselves from others, and spending extended periods of time alone.
Causes of Loneliness
Researchers have identified several causes of loneliness. Known culprits include:
— Alcoholism and drugs: Researchers have documented that alcoholism and drugs can contribute to more feelings of loneliness and isolation that makes it a vicious cycle of pain. People often turn to alcohol and drugs to cope, using them as a way to escape emotional and physical pain they’re experiencing. This pain could be due to failed relationships, loss, financial problems, anxiety or physical issues — all of which can contribute to loneliness.
— Depression: Loneliness and depression are closely connected and reinforce each other in an unhealthy cycle. When someone feels depressed, which is feeling sad for more than two weeks and a sense of hopelessness settles in, they often isolate themselves and feel lonely. This sense of loneliness can exacerbate feelings of depression. Breaking this cycle often involves addressing both the social isolation and the underlying symptoms of depression.
— Grief: Among many other emotions, loneliness is a common feeling for those who are grieving from loss — whether that loss is a loved one, a relationship, a job, favorite pet or something else in your life. Fifty-nine percent of Americans who reported feeling lonely had experienced the death of a family member or friend in the past two years, according to a 2018 report by the Kaiser Family Foundation. The report also found that a divorce or the end of a relationship made people more susceptible to loneliness.
— Lacking meaningful connections: Those who report feeling lonely also have fewer friends and relatives. Two-thirds or more who say they are lonely have few or no family members or friends living nearby, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation report. Individuals who describe themselves as lonely also convey dissatisfaction and poor relationships within their social network.
— Living alone: Living alone is becoming more common. According to 2020 U.S. Census data, more than a quarter (27.6%) of all households are lived in by one person, up from 22.7% in 1980. Some people enjoy the solitude of living alone, but others find it lonely and isolating. Those who live alone and suffer from loneliness are vulnerable to withdrawing from social activities and would benefit from both psychological care.
— Physical factors: For those who have mobility issues, chronic pain or other diseases that impair their ability to freely get out can face higher risk of loneliness. The Kaiser report found that people reporting loneliness are at least two times more likely than others to have a debilitating disability or chronic disease.
Health Effects of Loneliness
Although loneliness and social isolation are not clinical diagnoses, unlike major depressive disorder and other common mental health conditions, its effects can be profound on mental health. It is connected to higher rates of depression and suicidality.
Dr. Frances Barg, professor emeritus of family medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, evaluated older adults in several studies and showed that loneliness is closely associated with depressive symptoms, anxiety and hopelessness.
“From our research, we showed that loneliness is a gateway to depression,” Barg says. “Other studies have shown an increased risk of suicide among those experiencing loneliness.”
Other physical health effects of loneliness include:
— Heart disease: The risk of heart disease is particularly pronounced among those suffering from loneliness. A summary of 16 studies showed that poor social relationships because of loneliness or social isolation were associated with a 29% increase in the risk of heart disease and a 32% increase in the risk of stroke.
— Neurological disease: Research has linked loneliness to poorer cognitive function and higher risk for dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease. One study found that chronic loneliness and social isolation can increase the risk of developing dementia by approximately 50% in older adults.
— Premature death: Additional studies with larger samples of people have further supported earlier research that loneliness contributes to premature death. One study that analyzed several research papers found that loneliness increased the risk of premature death by 26%.
— Sleep disturbance: Loneliness also impacts sleep patterns. A 2021 report found that those who are lonely and socially isolated are more likely to report insufficient sleep.
— Weakened immune system: Some research has explored the connection between loneliness and the immune system and found that leukocytes, white blood cells that play a key role in the immune system’s ability to fight infection, showed a decreased expression of genes involved in antiviral responses and an increased expression of genes involved in inflammation.
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How to Combat Loneliness
It’s normal to feel lonely from time to time, but if you’re experiencing loneliness on a regular basis, then there are several ways to build meaningful relationships in your life.
“Creating connections will take time, but hopefully they will help you feel less lonely,” Alter says.
Here are 10 ways to combat loneliness:
1. Deepen relationships
Lack of close interpersonal relationships causes loneliness, so focusing on creating quality relationships with family members and/or friends will help address feeling lonely. Start with your family — both immediate and extended members — to identify relationships that could be strengthened. Broaden your circle to include friends, neighbors and other members of your community or consider getting back on the dating scene and developing a romantic relationship.
2. Explore hobbies
Participate in social activities, clubs or group events that you enjoy and distract yourself from being lonely. Clubs and activities that include others who share common interests can give you a sense of belonging and connection. If you like gardening, find out if there’s a garden club in your area. If you like to walk, seek out a walking club in the community or consider starting one.
3. Get out of the house
If you’re feeling lonely, find opportunities for interaction. Maybe you go shopping and talk to the salespeople at the store. Take an outdoor walk through the local park or stroll down main street where there are people mulling about.
“Being around others — even if you’re not talking or interacting directly — makes people feel less lonely,” Alter says.
4. Love oneself
This may come easy to some or may take longer for others, but learning to love yourself will help you through the loneliness. Many people get used to their own company and find the positives in spending time alone.
“It may not happen overnight but there is a lot of value in learning to enjoy your own company which will help combat loneliness in the long run,” Alter explains.
5. Seek medical help
Those who are feeling lonely should talk to their doctor or seek help from a therapist or psychologist to get medical advice and support.
6. Adopt a pet
Owning pets can offer great companionship, unconditional love and purpose in their lives to offset the feelings of loneliness. Pet owners sometimes find it easier to talk to other pet owners who share a common interest in animals. One recent study found a strong correlation between pet ownership and reduced levels of loneliness.
7. Get physically active
Engaging in regular physical activity releases endorphins, our “feel-good” hormones, that are known for boosting your mood and reducing feelings of loneliness. Group exercise classes or gym workouts can be helpful to develop a sense of community and provide opportunities to socialize.
8. Socialize
People need social connections to survive and thrive. Making new friends can be an effective way to foster meaningful connections with others and develop a sense of belonging. This can be done by joining a group, getting a membership at a local gym, taking adult classes or volunteering for a community organization.
9. Engage in social media — in moderation
Research is mixed on whether engaging on social media can help minimize or exacerbate loneliness. Social media provides platforms to stay connected with family and friends which is helpful when they live far apart. However, loneliness can be aggravated by social media because of the carefully curated content that creates the appearance of perfect lives, causing feelings of inadequacy. Like everything, find the right balance between engaging, but not obsessing over social media.
10. Talk to a friend
A 2021 study of 240 older adults found that by talking to someone on the phone for 10 minutes several times a week lowered rates of loneliness. By calling up family members, a high school classmate or work friends instead of texting or emailing will create a stronger sense of belonging and help build closer relationships and ultimately reduce loneliness.
Bottom Line
Breaking the cycle of loneliness is possible. The key is to build relationships and human connections.
“By taking small steps every day to strengthen relationships, and by supporting community efforts to rebuild social connections, we can rise to meet this moment together,” Murthy says.
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How Loneliness Impacts Your Health and 10 Ways to Combat It originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 10/31/23: This story was published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
