Many college applications require a personal essay, which can be daunting for students to write.
But a few simple tips, some introspection and insight into what admissions officers are looking for can help ease the pressure. U.S. News has compiled several college essay examples that helped students get into school. Shared by admissions staff or referenced from admissions websites, these essays stand out, they say, because the student voices shine, helping the school get to know the applicants.
“Students can get caught in the trap of overthinking it and write the essay that’s going to impress the admissions committee,” says Andrew Strickler, dean of admission and financial aid at Connecticut College. “The best essays, the ones that really pop, are the ones that come across as authentic and you really hear the student’s voice.”
The essay gives schools a feel for how a student writes, but it’s the content of the essay that matters most, admissions professionals say. In other words, while it’s important to showcase sound grammar and writing, it’s even more important to showcase your character and personality.
“I care more about their stories than if it is a perfect five paragraph essay,” David Graves, interim director of admissions at the University of Georgia, wrote in an email.
Many schools give students a wide range of topics to choose from, which experts say can be beneficial in helping students find their voice.
While you want your voice to be apparent, it’s wise to be aware of your tone, says Allen Koh, CEO of Cardinal Education, an admissions consulting company that works with students to craft and revise their college essays. The goal of the essay is to make a strong case for why you’re different from all the other applicants, not necessarily why you’re better, he adds.
“You have to pass the genuine likability test. Sometimes kids are so busy trying to brag or tell their story that they’re forgetting they have to sound like a likable person. That’s a very simple test, but it’s really important.”
Good essays tend to be “positively emotional,” he says. It’s best to avoid using sarcasm because it tends to fail on college essays.
Any humor used “really has to be a very positive, witty humor, not sarcastic,” which he says can be hard to pick up on in an essay.
The Perils of Using AI for Essays
Choosing the right tone can be a challenge for many students, but admissions pros encourage them not to take shortcuts to completing their essay.
Though some college professors have embraced artificial intelligence tools like ChatGPT in their classrooms, Strickler says he’s begun to stress in recent talks with high school audiences the importance of original work and avoiding the use of AI tools like ChatGPT to craft college essays. While it might produce a technically well-written essay and save time, your unique voice will be stripped away, and it may leave a bad impression on admissions offices as well as prevent them from truly getting to know you, he says.
Instead, Graves says, start early and take time to write it yourself, then “actually read it out loud to someone … to listen to the rhythm and words as they are ‘read.'”
[READ: How Colleges Choose Which Students to Admit.]
Each spring on his admissions blog, Graves shares an enrolling student’s essay and why it was strong. The essay excerpted below, shared with the permission of the University of Georgia, uses descriptive word choice and gives the admissions office deep insight into the student’s life, their love for writing and their connection to their family, Graves says.
It was chosen as an example “to show our applicant pool how to express themselves through similes, sensory language (words that capture the senses of the reader), and emotion,” Graves wrote on the blog.
Here’s how the essay opened:
If you asked me what object I’d save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook. My notebook isn’t just any notebook, it’s bubble gum pink with purple tie dye swirls, and has gold coil binding it together. But more importantly, it’s the key that unlocked my superpower, sending me soaring into the sky, flying high above any problems that could ever catch me. However, my notebook is simply the key. My real power rests in the depths of my mind, in my passion for writing. But to know how my powers came to be (not from a spider or a special rock), I must travel back to the first spark.
Four years ago, I wrote my first 6-word memoir in my eighth-grade rhetoric class. Inspired by my father’s recently diagnosed terminal illness, I wrote “Take his words, don’t take him”. It was as if all the energy of my powers surged into six meaningful words meant to honor the man that I would soon lose to a villain known as ALS. This was the first time I felt my writing. Three years ago, my dad’s disease severely progressed. The ALS seized his ability to speak and locked it in a tower with no key. The only way we could communicate was with an old spiral notebook. …
The essay counted down each year (“three years ago,” “two years ago,” etc.) and concluded with this paragraph:
One month ago, I needed my powers more than ever before. I needed them to convey who I truly am for the chance at the future of my dreams as a writer. Except this time, I didn’t need the key because my powers grew into fruition. Instead, I opened my laptop only to type out one sentence… “If you asked me what object to save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook.”
This style of storytelling, which shows not just the triumph at the end but also the conflict, struggle and evolution in between, makes for great essays, Koh says.
“The student also used an intriguing timeline (counting down years and month) to tell their story, and showed how she had grown,” Graves says.
This next essay, by an anonymous writer and shared on Connecticut College‘s admissions page, “manages to capture multiple aspects of the writer’s personality, while not becoming overly cluttered or confusing,” writes Susanna Matthews, associate director of admission at the school.
Every person who truly knows me believes that I was born in the wrong century. They call me “an old soul” because I’m a collector, attracted to books, antiques, vinyl records and anything from the 80’s. But they also think I am unique in other ways. I believe it is because of the meaningful connections to my two languages and two cultures.
When we moved into our first American house, I was excited to decorate my new room. The first thing I knew I needed was a place to organize my most cherished possessions I have collected throughout my life. I searched and finally found a bookshelf with twenty-five thick sections that I could build and organize alphabetically … Each shelf holds important objects from different parts of my life. …
These books are a strong connection to my Brazilian heritage. They also remind me of the time when I was growing up in Brazil, as a member of a large Italian-Brazilian family.
The writer continues on, describing the types of books on each shelf, from Harry Potter to books used to learn English. They describe the bottom of the bookshelf housing some of their most prized possessions, like an old typewriter their grandfather gave them. They wonder about the words it has crafted and stories it has told.
As I grab my favorite Elvis vinyl to play, I can only wonder about the next chapter of my life. I look forward to adding new books, new friends, and a wide variety of experiences to my bookshelf.
“By placing one subject (the bookshelf) at the center of the piece, it lends some flexibility to layer in much more detail than if they had tried to discuss a few different interests in the essay,” Matthews writes. “You learn a lot about the person, in a way that isn’t in your face — a great thing when trying to write a personal essay.”
[Read: The Common App: Everything You Need to Know.]
Some colleges require a supplemental essay in addition to the personal statement. Typically, admissions pros note, these essays are shorter and focus on answering a specific question posed by the college.
The University of Chicago in Illinois allows students to submit essay prompts as inspiration for the admissions office and gives students some latitude in how they answer them. Essay prompts range from questions about the school itself to asking students to pick a question from a song title or lyric and give their best shot at answering it.
“We think of them as an opportunity for students to tell us about themselves, their tastes, and their ambitions,” the school’s admissions website reads. “They can be approached with utter seriousness, complete fancy, or something in between.”
While the University of Chicago says there is no strict word limit on its supplemental essays, other schools prefer brevity. For example, Stanford University in California asks students to answer several short questions, with a 50-word limit, in addition to answering three essay questions in 100 to 250 words.
Georgia asks for a school-specific supplemental essay that’s 200-300 words in addition to a 250- to 650-word personal essay.
“Sometimes a shorter essay response is not as polished an essay, but instead is a more casual, more relaxed essay,” Graves says. “In addition, sometimes a student needs to get to the point or be concise, and this helps see if they can give us their story without overdoing it.”
Other schools allow for a little more creativity in how the supplemental essay questions are answered. Babson College in Massachusetts, for example, gives students a 500-word limit to answer a prompt, or they can choose to submit a one-minute video about why they chose to apply to the school.
One student, Gabrielle Alias, chose to film a “day-in-the-life” video, which she narrated to answer the prompt, “Who Am I?”
“Visiting campus twice, I know I could see myself as one of the many interesting, innovative, and enticing students that come out of Babson,” she says in the video. “But who am I you ask? I am a student. I am a reader. I am a researcher. I am a music lover. … I am Gabrielle Alias and I am excited for who I will be as a graduate of Babson.”
An essay by Babson student Bessie Shiroki, seen below, describes her experience in the school’s admissions office and how she immediately felt comfortable.
I immediately smiled at the sight of my favorite board game. Babsonopoly. I love the combination of strategy and luck in this traditional family pastime. Seeing this on the wall in the admissions office gave me immediate comfort; I knew I was home.
Shiroki describes what she felt set Babson College apart from other schools, such as being surrounded by “sophisticated and mature individuals” and a tight-knit, entrepreneurial environment that would help her reach her career goals.
It is natural for me to be in a small class where more than one language is spoken. I am accustomed to discussions with diverse viewpoints, open minds, and where differences are seen as advantages. I embrace my cultural uniqueness, and I will add my voice to the community. I can’t imagine not continuing this in college.
She notes that as she toured the campus and saw students studying, she could see herself as one of them, feeding off of their studious and entrepreneurial energy. She mentions that Babson’s Foundations of Management and Entrepreneurship class got her attention immediately and she saw it as a launch pad for a future that included running a business.
Babson recognizes the potential of their students, and FME is a great way for young entrepreneurs like me to find our place in the business world and learn from our mistakes. I am capable of this challenge and will conquer it with tenacity. I will bring my dedication, commitment, and innovative skills to Babson College.
Now it’s my turn to pass go and collect my Babson acceptance letter. I’ve found my next challenge.
Babson College offers several tips for what make good essays, including a strong “hook” to engage the reader from the start and a topic that allows you to share something that’s not as obvious on your application.
When it comes to writing a college admissions essay — whether personal or supplemental — experts advise students to follow these rules:
— Find your voice.
— Write about a topic that matters to you.
— Share your personality.
— Express yourself.
— Proofread extensively.
With both traditional essays and supplemental essays, Koh says it’s best to write long and work with someone you trust to edit it down. Teachers, friends and parents can all be helpful proofreaders, but experts note that the student voice should remain intact.
A good editor can help edit a long essay to keep the main message but with fewer words. “If I see 400 words, I know I’m a dozen drafts away from getting it to 650,” he says. “If I see 1200 words, we might just be one or two away. It’s at least going to be a shorter haul.”
Strickler encourages students not to stress too much over the essay or put unnecessary weight on it as part of their college application. While a strong essay helps, he says, it doesn’t make or break an application.
“There’s this sense that you write the most amazing essay and it gets you over the top because it opens the door to the pathway to the Magic Kingdom,” he says. “But it’s just one piece of a myriad of pieces that allow us to get to know a particular student and help us figure out if they’re a good fit and how they’re going to contribute to our community.”
Searching for a college? Get our complete rankings of Best Colleges.
More from U.S. News
Tips to Finish Writing College Application Essays
Can Your College Admissions Offer Be Revoked?
Find College Scholarships Related to Your Hobbies
College Essays That Worked: See Examples originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 07/14/23: This story was published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
