“Good vibes only” is a catchy phrase often thrown around and happily accepted outside the workplace, but when it’s used in a professional setting, you should take note. To promote optimism, some employers may use phrases like “look for the silver lining” and “everything’s OK” to gloss over genuine problems in the workplace. Though they may have good intentions, dismissing negativity can create a falsely positive facade — which could be toxic. In this article, we’ll dive deep into the definition of toxic positivity and how it can create an unhealthy work environment.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
According to licensed clinical psychologist and therapist Lauren Cook, “Toxic positivity is an unwavering devotion to optimism that can minimize or disregard when someone is in emotional pain.” In other words, toxic positivity makes you believe you should have a positive mindset no matter what you’re going through. It causes you to dissociate from your negative feelings and pretend it’s all rainbows and butterflies when it’s not.
In a Science of People survey, nearly 68% of respondents said they’d experienced toxic positivity from someone in the previous weeks. Additionally, more than 75% of respondents admitted they “ignore their own emotions in favor of being happy.”
Toxic positivity can happen anywhere — even in the workplace. It could manifest in the form of constantly upbeat and cheerful emails, making light of a difficult work situation or a boss telling a stressed employee to just “try smiling through it!”
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How Does Toxic Positivity Impact Mental Health?
Though toxic positivity may not be ill-intentioned, it often does more harm than good. Here’s how too much positivity can negatively affect employees’ mental health and work performance.
It Invalidates Employees’ Feelings and Experiences
For example, when employees struggle with a heavy workload and their manager tells them to “cheer up” or “focus on the good,” they may feel invalidated and unsupported.
Amira Martin, mental health therapist and founder of MA Therapy, says, “When employees are encouraged to look on the bright side or think positively, they may feel like their negative emotions are not acceptable, which could lead to them suppressing their feelings — causing anxiety, depression and burnout.”
It Creates a Culture of Avoidance
When negative feelings are constantly shoved under the rug with a quick “it’ll all be OK,” it inevitably creates a culture of avoidance. When this happens, broaching difficult conversations becomes more challenging as employees get used to pretending everything is great — even when it isn’t.
Soon enough, everyone would rather dodge the real issues than work together toward an effective solution. Ultimately, toxic positivity leads to a lack of communication and collaboration — impacting the overall productivity and success of the workplace.
It Triggers Feelings of Shame
If all your co-workers are putting on a smile even when work is tough, yet you’re the only one who’s seemingly struggling, you might begin to question yourself and wonder why you’re not as mentally strong as your peers. Judging yourself for feeling anything less than happy could lead to secondary emotions, like shame — which can be detrimental to your mental health.
According to an article published by the CPTSD Foundation, shame could damage your self-esteem, limit your ability to seek out meaningful relationships and even keep you from achieving professional success.
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How to Spot Toxic Positivity in the Workplace
Toxic positivity in the workplace can often go undetected, tucked away under the guise of motivation and enthusiasm. If you constantly hear these phrases at your job, you may be experiencing toxic positivity.
We’re One Big Family!
“A sneaky form of toxic positivity is when an employer talks about being a family,” International Coaching Federation-certified career coach Olivia Bowen wrote in an email. She says this phrase is a major red flag to watch out for since “the family mentality benefits only the employer as it primes employees to put in long hours. It also demotes an employee’s actual family — blurring important boundaries.”
At the end of the day, businesses will almost always make decisions to protect their bottom line — “family” or not. So, if your workplace uses this language, Bowen urges you to hold your boundaries firm and protect your downtime.
Other Places Are Much Worse, So You Should Be Grateful
Another sign of toxic positivity to watch out for is when your employer emphasizes that other workplaces are much worse and you should be grateful. Bowen says, “An employer might offer great benefits, but if they’re running their people into the ground or belittling staff members while pointing out how bad other places are, that’s classic toxic positivity.”
Everything’s Fine! Don’t Worry
Have you ever had a boss or colleague tell you “Everything’s fine! Don’t worry,” when in reality, everything is in shambles? That’s another classic example of toxic positivity in the workplace. This seemingly benign phrase can feel like an unwelcome reminder that your concerns aren’t respected.
Plus, the overgeneralization of “everything is fine” is a telltale sign that your boss or co-worker may be turning a blind eye and brushing off problems they don’t want to deal with. By sweeping serious issues under the rug, your boss or colleague could worsen the situation and put your job security at risk.
How to Deal With Toxic Positivity at Work
Toxic positivity masks real problems and could cause mental health issues. To foster a thriving work environment, employers, managers and employees must learn how to recognize and deal with toxic positivity in the workplace.
What Managers Can Do
As an employer or a leader in the workplace, promoting toxic positivity can affect the psychological safety of your employees — even when it’s well-intentioned. Here are some ways to stop perpetuating excessive optimism and face negative situations head-on.
1. Incorporate Realistic Positivity
Cook says incorporating realistic positivity means “acknowledging the difficulty while making room for the silver linings — allowing for the both/and rather than the either/or.”
For example, if an employee is struggling with their assignment, instead of dismissing their experience with a “Don’t worry, you got this!” say, “I understand that this project has been challenging, and feeling frustrated is OK. Let’s discuss how we can work together to address these challenges.” By doing so, you offer a solution while acknowledging their distress instead of minimizing their negative experience.
2. Check In With Employees Regularly
Instead of assuming everyone is doing OK and ignoring tension, it’s essential to create an environment where employees feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Asking questions like, “Do you have what you need?” or “Are you feeling overwhelmed?” can be a great way to begin a dialogue and allow employees to share their struggles without feeling judged.
3. Educate Yourself on the Concept of Toxic Positivity
While it’s important to stay positive in the workplace and find the silver lining in negative experiences, excessive positivity can often exclude honest conversations that need to be had.
To avoid this, educate yourself on what constitutes toxic positivity and how to foster a work environment where employees feel encouraged rather than emotionally invalidated. A good place to start is by reading “Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy” by licensed psychotherapist Whitney Goodman.
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What Employees Can Do
Here are a few things you can do as an employee to help create a workplace free of toxic positivity and unrealistic optimism.
1. Set Boundaries and Speak Up
We all have days when we don’t have the energy to power through. Instead of faking a smile, speak up and let your boss know you’re overwhelmed. For example, if your manager assigns you too much work, instead of criticizing yourself for not meeting unrealistic standards, speak up and say, “I’d love to help get this done, but I’m feeling overwhelmed with my current workload.”
2. Call It Out When You See Others Doing It
When you hear your colleagues or boss exhibiting toxic positivity, call it out in a nonconfrontational way. For example, if your manager dismisses your co-worker John’s negative emotions, politely tell her, “Hey Sarah, I know you didn’t mean to invalidate John’s experience, but if he’s feeling that way, there’s probably a reason for it. It may be a good idea to check on him.”
3. Understand That It’s OK Not to Be OK
It’s not realistic to expect yourself to feel happy and optimistic 24/7. Life is full of ups and downs — whether in your personal life or professional life. So, make space for your emotions and don’t suppress them. Understand that it’s OK not to feel OK all the time, and we can’t always pick the emotions we want to feel. If you need time to rest and recharge, do it. Or else, you could risk burning yourself out and feeling apathetic toward your work.
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What Is Toxic Positivity and How Is It Bad for Your Workplace? originally appeared on usnews.com
