Terminating a doctor-patient relationship
Staying with a doctor you’re not happy with is as harmful as staying in a toxic relationship. While it may feel uncomfortable, terminating the doctor-patient relationship may be the healthiest move.
“If the physician is not answering your questions, returning your calls or emails in a meaningful and respectful manner in order to help you be an advocate for your health and well-being, then it might be time to rethink the relationship,” says Michael Urban, senior lecturer and program director of the Doctor of Occupational Therapy Program at the University of New Haven in Connecticut.
On the other hand, even if you like your doctor, you may need to find a new one if your physician leaves your health plan.
If you are looking for a new doctor for whatever reason, Urban suggests asking your new prospective physician about their office’s average turnaround time for answering inquiries. Depending on the size of the office, the turnaround time should be 72 hours or less.
Here are 13 reasons to change doctors:
1. You and your doctor don’t mesh.
You and your doctor don’t need to become pals or to agree on everything, but it’s helpful if you work well together.
It makes a big difference if you like your doctors, and feel they like you too. At the bare minimum, you want to respect your primary health care provider and believe they respect you. That means your physician listens to you, responds promptly when you reach out and cares about your overall health.
“You certainly don’t need to be friends — and probably shouldn’t be, in order to maintain professional boundaries,” says Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, a certified speaking professional based in Chester, Maryland, and author of the book “Reimagining Customer Service in Healthcare.” “But you should feel like they care about your well-being.”
Beyond establishing mutual respect with your doctor, it helps to have a list of non-negotiables and to ask them how they feel about certain issues that are important to you. For example, if you like to do your own research and discuss what you’ve discovered about heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure or another health condition, it’s important to make sure your physician doesn’t have an autocratic demeanor. You want a doctor who will listen to you and who will not be condescending because you conducted your own research.
2. Your doctor doesn’t advocate for you.
Let’s say your health insurance company is giving you a hard time about a test, medication or procedure you and your doctor agree is necessary. Does your physician advocate on your behalf with the insurance company, or do they quickly give up?
While it’s not always essential for your physician to personally make the calls or write a letter to your health insurance company explaining why you need a costly procedure or diagnostic test, they should have someone in the office who is assigned to advocating for you to make sure your health care needs are being met, FitzPatrick says.
3. Your physician doesn’t respect your time.
Do you routinely wait an hour to see your physician, only to feel like they is speed-doctoring through the visit? Does your physician start looking at their watch at some point during your appointment? Do you get the feeling your doctor is starting to think about the next patient while talking to you?
You should never feel like you’re being rushed. If your doctor doesn’t take the time to answer your questions about COVID-19 or address other concerns, there’s a problem.
“If your doctor’s not giving you the time you need, they’re not listening to you fully because they’re rushing,” Urban says. “They’re not giving you the full care that you need.”
Your physician should also provide time for you to ask questions so you’ll be able to make well-informed decisions about your treatment, Urban adds.
In addition, the medical community is becoming increasingly sensitive to patients’ precious time. If your doctor’s chronic tardiness makes you grind your teeth, it may be time to find a new physician.
4. Your doctor speaks to you in complicated medical jargon.
Your doctor should be able to talk to you in simple language that clearly explains why they are recommending a particular treatment or are ordering a certain test.
Being able to explain treatment approaches for different medical conditions in a way that is easy to understand is an important skill. For example, your doctor should be able to clearly explain how changes in diet and exercise and the use of medication could all be useful approaches to treating or warding off diabetes without using overly complex, technical terminology.
If your doctor doesn’t make an effort to explain treatment options and tests in a way you can understand, it could be a sign that it’s time to fire your doctor and find a physician who is better at communicating. Your health is too important to feel confused or uninformed.
5. Your physician isn’t a good listener.
Listening is one of the most important skills a physician can have, says Dr. Neel Anand, professor of orthopedic surgery and co-director of spine trauma at Cedars-Sinai Spine Center Center in Los Angeles.
A good doctor listens to their patient’s description of pain and other symptoms.
“As physicians, we’re a busy bunch,” Anand says. “But our most important time is spent … with our patients. If we don’t allow them to give us a complete picture of their overall health, we can’t help them effectively maximize it.”
Your doctor should be able to put down your chart and actively listen to your health issues and concerns. If your doctor is a bad listener, consider finding one who is.
6. The doctor’s office staff is unprofessional.
Office staff members are the link between you and your physician, so it’s important to feel you can trust them. Even if you like your doctor, a bad office staff could signal it’s time to end the doctor-patient relationship.
Here are some common red flags to watch out for:
— If the staff isn’t responsive to your needs and questions or is rude and unprofessional.
— If the staff seems disinterested about your concerns.
— If the staff neglects to give your message to the physician about your medication’s side effects.
— If a staff member doesn’t introduce themselves to you before taking your vitals.
“The small stuff is big stuff,” FitzPatrick says. “Smiling, making eye contact, calling you by name and apologizing for delays or oversights should be the norm (for office staff). They should seem like they want to be there.”
7. You don’t feel comfortable with your doctor.
One of the most important factors in any doctor-patient relationship is a sense of comfort and trust. Doctors need to know intimate details about your health that you may not even share with friends or family members. If you’re not comfortable sharing this information, you and your doctor may not be the right match.
Signs that you’re not comfortable with your doctor can include feeling rushed during appointments, not feeling heard or understood, feeling judged or dismissed or simply feeling uneasy around your physician for reasons you may or may not be able to articulate.
This may likely cause you to not feel confident in their abilities or second-guess their judgment.
While finding a new doctor can take time and effort, keep in mind that your health and well-being are worth it.
“Not feeling comfortable with your doctor is an absolute red flag,” says Jeremy Gurewitz, chief executive officer of Solace, a digital health platform company that connects people with patient advocates, based in Redwood City, California. “If you don’t feel at ease, how can you trust what they have to say?”
8. Your physician doesn’t coordinate with other doctors.
A dedicated primary care doctor is eager to understand who else is on your care team. This includes coordinating with other physicians, like cardiologists and endocrinologists.
“Ideally, he or she should know about other types of services you are receiving and who those providers are as well,” FitzPatrick says. “This includes services you get to improve and maintain your physical health, like chiropractic and physical therapy. Your physician should also be aware if you are procuring mental health services from a clinician such as a psychologist.”
If your doctor isn’t aware of the other professionals you see, there are risks. The most obvious one is duplication of care, but medication interactions and conflicting orders are also common problems. When doctors know exactly who comprises your care team, they’re better able to assess and understand your needs as a whole person.
“While your doctor should be cooperating with your other ancillary providers on an as-needed basis by reviewing reports and through telephone consults, it’s important that he or she is also willing to coordinate with others when you seek a second opinion,” FitzPatrick says. “One doctor should never be your only source of medical advice and care.”
While many doctors are happy to cooperate with your other providers, sometimes they or their staff are just not organized enough to keep on top of all the communication needed to properly coordinate care. Make sure that your doctor’s office has a system in place so partnering with your entire care team is seamless.
9. Your doctor isn’t available to answer questions.
A doctor who is not available can lead to missed diagnoses, delayed treatment and frustration. If you find yourself struggling to get an appointment, waiting a long time to see your doctor or unable to get your questions answered in a timely manner, it may be time to sever your doctor-patient relationship. A good doctor is accessible and willing to make time for their patients, whether it’s through in-person visits, phone consultations or email correspondence.
“Unfortunately, the U.S. medical system overwhelms doctors with bureaucracy and far more patients than they can handle, often times as many as 50 a day,” Gurewitz says.
Of course, doctors are busy and sometimes aren’t immediately available because they’re away at a medical conference, on vacation or for many other reasons. If your physician isn’t available, their office should have a system in place to allow you to get in touch regarding medical issues, prescriptions or test result questions.
Many doctors are available to patients via email portals, text messaging and telehealth platforms. Using these methods, your doctor or one of their partners should be able to respond to you within 72 hours or sooner.
10. Your doctor doesn’t take a holistic approach.
If your doctor doesn’t take a holistic approach to your health, it might be time to consider terminating the doctor-patient relationship.
Many physicians can prescribe medication, order tests or recommend a procedure. But your health isn’t just about tests and prescription meds, says Don Powell, president and chief executive officer of the American Institute for Preventive Medicine based in Farmington Hills, Michigan.
A good doctor will consider not just your physical condition, but your overall well-being. That means paying attention to mental health issues, like anxiety and depression. The best health outcomes occur when there is a solid doctor-patient relationship and you’re able to talk to your health care provider about the well-being of your “mind, body and spirit,” Powell says.
That means you should be able to talk to your physician about specific medical problems, as well as lifestyle issues, like eating habits, sleep, stress management, physical activity levels and social isolation, which is associated with depression, anxiety and shorter life expectancy.
“People who are socially-connected live longer,” Powell says.
11. Your doctor is a reluctant learner.
Whether your doctor went to medical school three or 30 years ago, it’s important they stay on top of the latest and greatest developments in their field to ensure they are continually improving and delivering the best medical care for their patients. The medical community has made significant advances in treating cancer and other conditions, for example.
“You want to make sure (your doctor) is keeping pace,” Anand says.
One way to do so is by checking his or her curriculum vitae to get a picture of how in touch your doctor is with medical advances. The CV will tell you what conferences the physician has attended, what current continuing education they’re receiving and whether they’re training other medical professionals in their field. A doctor could provide such education by speaking at conferences, conducting research studies or authoring journal articles or textbook chapters on whatever their specialty is, whether it’s cardiovascular health or spinal conditions.
12. Your doctor won’t allow you to bring someone to accompany you to important appointments.
The COVID-19 pandemic prompted many doctor’s offices, hospitals and health clinics to implement new policies tightening who is allowed into their facilities. Some of these policies prohibited patients from bringing someone with them to their appointments.
“COVID-19 policies essentially pushed out the family caregiver,” FitzPatrick says. “Patients deserve to have a close family member or friend accompany them to meetings with health care providers when there is a serious illness or procedure to be discussed.”
A relative or friend can provide emotional support and take notes on what the physician says. This is important because, depending on the diagnosis or treatment being discussed, the patient may not be in the best frame of mind in the moment to record important details.
If your physician doesn’t allow you to bring a loved one to an important medical appointment, it’s time to find a new doctor.
13. Your doctor has a pattern of bad patient reviews.
There are various online tools you can use to see how other patients have rated particular doctors. While a handful of bad patient reviews may not be cause for alarm, if your doctor has a pattern of getting poor patient reviews, that could be a red flag.
But experts say it’s important to keep online patient reviews in context and to avoid making judgments about health care providers solely on such comments.
“When people are happy, they don’t always leave comments,” Urban notes. “I’ve seen some doctors who are great who’ve had many negative comments.”
Ask for recommendations from friends and other people in your area, which you can do in online forums. Ask a doctor you’re considering if you can come in for a quick meeting with the physician or just come to the office to get a sense of the environment. If a doctor is willing to take a few minutes to meet with you, that shows they are invested in listening to you down the road. If the office is clean and the staff is calm and professional, those are good signs.
13 signs you should fire your doctor:
— You and your doctor don’t mesh.
— Your doctor doesn’t advocate for you.
— Your physician doesn’t respect your time.
— Your doctor speaks to you in complicated medical jargon.
— Your physician isn’t a good listener.
— The doctor’s office staff is unprofessional.
— You don’t feel comfortable with your doctor.
— Your physician doesn’t coordinate with other doctors.
— Your doctor isn’t available to answer questions.
— Your doctor doesn’t take a holistic approach.
— Your physician is a reluctant learner.
— Your doctor won’t allow you to bring someone to accompany you to important appointments.
— Your doctor has a pattern of bad patient reviews.
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When to Terminate Your Doctor-Patient Relationship originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 02/28/23: This story was previously published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
