Most women are unhappy with their bodies, according to research. But it’s not just adults who take issue with the size or shape of their bodies. Increasingly, studies indicate that kids, too, struggle with body dissatisfaction, or having negative thoughts and perceptions about their bodies, which raises their risk for the development of eating disorders, depression and low self-esteem.
“The other day my 9-year-old daughter came in the kitchen and told my husband and I that her legs were fat,” Danya Arnold, a 35-year-old mom of three and dietitian from Bryant, Arkansas, told me. “I was so caught off guard. I told her she is perfectly made and healthy.”
A 2016 Journal of Pediatrics study of children aged 9 to 14 years found that over half of girls and boys were dissatisfied with their body shape. Children were asked to select a picture representing their perceived shape and the shape they desired or wanted to be. Half of the girls wanted to be thinner, while the boys were divided: 21percent wanted to be bigger and 36 percent wanted to be thinner.
[Read: What Every Parent Should Know About Eating Disorders.]
Body dissatisfaction can stem from a number of different factors. Comments made to, or about children at a young age, for example, can shape their self-perception. Social interactions with peers or family members and other adult influences like coaches may also plant the seed of dissatisfaction. Normal developmental changes including greater self-awareness and comparison to others, as well as a sensitivity to our societal ideals of thinness, health and fitness may also alter a child’s body image.
Even very young children can be affected. “I remember my best friend was proud she could squeeze her hands around her waist and touch her fingers together,” says Emilee Brannan, a 34-year-old dietitian from Williston, North Dakota. “I couldn’t do that, and didn’t realize this was desirable. My mom wasn’t diet-y, but my friend’s family was. I remember I felt shame. I was around 4 years old.”
For some women, these early negative experiences set a blueprint that lasts a lifetime, leading to struggles with weight, dieting, low self-esteem and even eating disorders.
It can be discouraging to hear that children may be affected by these experiences at such a young age, but I believe parents have an opportunity (and a responsibility) to inoculate their kids from them. Protection begins with a consistent example of self-love and body appreciation from parents. “Seeing both Mom and Dad appreciate their bodies is an important first step,” says Maryann Jacobsen, a dietitian and author of the forthcoming children’s book “My Body’s Super Power.” “Self-compassion plays a key role in a positive body image. Being kinder to ourselves means we’ll be kinder to our bodies.”
[Read: Identifying Eating Disorders and Body Image issues in Boys.]
Teaching our children to respect and embrace diversity, including body diversity, can set the foundation for body appreciation. “You’ll model this belief system throughout their growing years with your own actions and choices,” says Rebecca Scritchfield, a dietitian and author of “Body Kindness,” “including refraining from body bashing yourself and others, while finding opportunities to educate them about respecting all people, especially ones who are different.”
Here are a few more actions parents can take to promote body love in their children:
Teach your kids that every body is a good body.
In just about everything we do to teach our children, leading by example is almost always more powerful than telling them what to do. However, in the case of teaching children to love their bodies, having a family philosophy to pass down can be helpful.
“One of the best things any parent can do for their child is to teach them the phrases ‘all bodies are good bodies’ and ‘there’s nothing wrong with fat,'” Scritchfield says. “What you’re doing is offering a loving message of compassion and common humanity from an early age.” She suggests: “Use the example of height with your child and say, ‘We don’t know anything about a tall person by looking at them except that they are tall. We don’t know anything about a higher weight person except that they are larger in size. In our family, we respect people no matter what.'”
Promote family connection and family meals.
Staying connected with your child while encouraging open communication can help kids share insecurities and problem-solve with a trusted adult. Family connectedness may also ward off undesirable and dangerous dieting and eating habits, according to Project EAT, a series of National Institute of Health-funded studies focused on teen eating behaviors, weight and dieting.
One way to do this is through frequent and positive family meals. Family meals have been shown to have a beneficial impact on self-esteem and academic performance and tend to promote healthier eating. However, when there is lots of weight talk and teasing, the protective, positive effects of family meals may be reversed, according to a 2015 study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders.
Teach media literacy and body literacy.
It can be hard for children to make sense of the various media messages surrounding thinness, fitness and health, but it’s essential if you want to raise children who appreciate their own and others’ body diversity. Help kids understand intentions behind advertisements and how media images are “perfected” so they can become more media savvy.
[Read: Are Your Weight Concerns for Your Kids Too Much?]
Kids should also learn about how their bodies work. “Parents can help guide kids towards a positive body image by focusing on how nutritious foods help the body function optimally, teaching media literacy, explaining body changes during puberty and helping children understand that people come in a variety of shapes and sizes,” Jacobsen advises.
Embrace individuality instead of societal norms.
Embracing societal ideals of thinness may be dangerous for children. In one 2009 Eating Disorder study, the strongest predictor of eating disorder symptoms was an acceptance of social ideals and attitudes about appearance. A better alternative is to encourage children to embrace and accept their unique bodies, and put the focus on their personal qualities, not their appearance.
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Body Image Issues Affect Kids, Too originally appeared on usnews.com
