We used to worry about how seeing too many air-brushed images of models would affect young women. This concern seems almost passe now as young people themselves have become the models.
Take, for instance, the 2015 poll sponsored by the beauty site Feelunique that found the average young woman aged 16 to 25 years old spends over five hours a week taking selfies. That can’t be healthy, right? Our instinct is to compare this self-obsession with the earlier obsession with image. But the truth is that we might be missing out on a beneficial, even mentally healthy side of this phenomenon.
[Read: 7 Practical Tips for Parenting Teens in the Digital Age.]
The Selfie: What’s the Point?
Selfies are a means of cultivating a personal brand — think Kim Kardashian or Cardi B. Adolescents have brands, too — they’re just measured in social capital instead of dollars. Certain selfies are calculated to make kids look cooler, of course. They’re a way to show your social world something while also getting likes, responses and views. Selfies on the “permanent” feed are usually about status more than anything else. This is where many girls will take endless shots, striving for a Kardashian-level result.
But there’s another reason that teens take selfies, and it sounds old-fashioned. They are a means of communication. They let kids share how they feel in the moment. This is most common on Snapchat; pictures communicate a state of mind quicker than it would take to text or talk. These selfies focus less on perfection or physical appearance. It is simply about staying connected and communicating efficiently.
Taking selfies is also a way to try on a new self-image as a means of exploring one’s identity. If you’re seeing differences in clothing or hair in the selfies that your teen posts, it could be attempts at identity exploration rather than purely a bragging opportunity.
[Read: How to Keep Teens From Turning Their Smartphones Into Weapons.]
Are Selfies Harmful?
The fear of missing out on the perfect selfie can keep youth tethered to their phones when they could benefit from being fully present in their lives. FOMO also leads to real anxiety.
Teens might feel as though their accomplishments, social lives, fun moments and physical appearance have less merit if they aren’t accounted for on social media. This can create a disconnect between real life and what’s “real” for a teen, which can be destabilizing at this stage of cognitive, emotional and social development.
But it’s important not to downplay the potential positives of the selfie. First, it can increase human connection and engagement. It is a new way of communicating, especially on platforms like Snapchat.
When the phone was invented, a lot of people were sure it would be the end of the world and ruin the adolescents of the time. As it turns out, they just created a new normal.
Still, if you have concerns, there are some things you can do. Here’s what I’d advise to figure out if screens and social media are a problem for your child, and what to do about it:
— Have discussions with your kids about why they’re posting selfies.
— Notice how often they respond to friends. Encourage them to respond to friends every hour (or less frequently if they’re busy) rather than right away to teach impulse control.
— Encourage device-free time, where the whole family powers down and enjoys an activity together. Notice if this is a problem for your kids — or for you!
— Consistently remind your kids that the images they see posted by celebrities on social media are doctored.
— Praise other aspects of identity development besides physical appearance.
— Validate their struggles by saying things like, “I can’t imagine the pressure you must feel to constantly stay connected.”
— Ask your kids if they would like help. It’s more effective if teens resolve their own issues — and they usually can on their own. But it’s important for them to know you are there for them if the issue seems too big for them to handle.
[See: 10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child.]
Kids are resilient, and they can navigate issues surrounding screens on their own. If they are accomplishing goals, keeping friends, engaging in extracurricular activities and interests, and spending time with family, they are most likely using screens and managing social media effectively.
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Take a Selfie: a Modern Way to Communicate originally appeared on usnews.com
