Social media has amplified many workplace conundrums, one of which is figuring out how much “you” you should bring to your professional life. Yet while you may have started thinking twice about the potential professional ramifications of being an “open book” on Twitter or Facebook — perhaps erring on the side of caution — does this careful approach extend to your in-office decisions around personal authenticity?
When it comes to face-to-face workplace scenarios, it can be even more challenging to figure out how candid you should be about your personal life. In Harvard Business Review, Lisa Rosh and Lynn Offermann explain why:
“[T]he honest sharing of thoughts, feelings, and experiences at work is a double-edged sword: Despite its potential benefits, self-disclosure can backfire if it’s hastily conceived, poorly timed, or inconsistent with cultural or organizational norms–hurting your reputation, alienating employees, fostering distrust, and hindering teamwork.”
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However, many people yearn to bring their full selves to the office and want to avoid having to put on a “work face” every time they walk in their company’s door. While focusing on team-building, Google discovered some compelling reasons to be more open with co-workers: Sharing more about yourself can help create empathy, which generates trust among individuals and builds better teams. Writing about this in The New York Times Magazine, author and journalist Charles Duhigg notes:
“No one wants to leave part of their personality and inner life at home. … We must be able to talk about what is messy or sad, to have hard conversations with colleagues who are driving us crazy. We can’t be focused just on efficiency. … We want to know that work is more than just labor.”
What’s an employee to do? For perspective, consider the experience of Lorraine Martin, former executive vice president at Lockheed Martin. Martin describes the struggle that she initially faced as a young professional woman in the male-dominated aerospace industry.
“Early in my career, I had to learn to bring my full self to work,” says Martin. “I was 5 feet tall, young and even younger-looking. Many on my team were later in their careers. It felt vulnerable to share much of my personal life, so I kept much of who I was to myself.”
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Over time, it became more difficult to take this approach with her work group. “People you work with want to know who you are, so I had to learn to share more,” she says. “It took some time to get comfortable, but the result was people knew me better and I was able to build more trust. I was able to contribute more fully.”
Here are some of Martin’s tips for boosting office authenticity, and why you should consider doing so:
Bring your whole self to work. This concept means “nothing has to stop at the door,” according to Martin. “Don’t be one person in your private life and then create another person to be at work,” she advises. “Everyone has more than one side, but not having all those sides available can hinder your progress. It’s the missing piece of you that causes stress, resentment and pain. In your chair, you are you! Only then can your thoughts be whole and focused fully on the challenges at hand.”
Make authenticity a priority. Martin believes that when you’re authentic, it enables you to be your best. She caveats, though, that authenticity does not mean showing up in your most comfortable style in every situation. “Authenticity means having the discretion to use any and all parts of who you are when you show up,” says Martin. “And adding to that an understanding of the nature of the person or group you are working with and being your best self for that situation.”
Choose how you show up. Bringing your full self to work allows you to decide when to bring certain parts of yourself to an engagement. “When you have the ability to choose what elements you present from your complete self, you’re able to bring your best capabilities to the challenge,” explains Martin. She emphasizes that to be most effective, you need to own and use that choice. “Choosing to bring certain parts of yourself — rather than other parts — to a circumstance is not, in my opinion, being inauthentic,” she says. “That is being a good partner to those with whom you work. You have your whole self to bring to the challenge; it is your job to use it effectively.”
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Watch for diversity blind spots. A common challenge that Martin experienced herself is when someone you are working with does not support a part of who you are: “Female, LGBTQ, young, vivacious or whatever it might be, there will be people with diversity blind spots,” says Martin. She believes it is always worth an initial effort to work with such a person on the challenge at hand. “Show that your contributions add value and enhance the overall team results,” she advises. Martin shares the following thoughts that have helped her work around diversity blind spots:
— Don’t own it — it is their limitation.
— Don’t carry it on your shoulders — it will needlessly weigh you down.
— Know it is there — ensure that it is not impacting your ability to be successful.
— Excel at what you do and bring your best self to the challenge.
— If the behavior of others crosses a line (and you will know) — address it in an appropriate manner.
Seek and/or become an ally. Enlisting an ally and mentor can help you navigate specific issues you may encounter regarding your unique expression of authenticity, and Martin has served as such an ally for others. “I had the opportunity to be an LGBTQ ally in a large organization,” says Martin. “I was able to see firsthand the power of enabling each person to bring his or her full self to work. The joy and empowerment are palpable.”
When you’re authentically yourself and others are free to be themselves, too, the result is diversity of thought, experience and communication styles around the table — all of which bring richer results. “Diversity allows for more innovation and solutions to challenges that would be missed without differing perspectives,” Martin says. What’s more, the ability to bring your full self to your job and career is empowering and freeing. “When people are their full selves, they are fully in the room, fully in the fight and fully part of the team,” says Martin. “With this comes greater fulfillment and success for everyone involved.”
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