When J.K. Rowling first conjured up Harry Potter, she was on a train traveling through the English countryside, passing by a field of cows. She wasn’t thinking of anything in particular when the boy wizard appeared to her. It’s a magical moment to imagine: a young, un-famous Ms. Rowling, rolling green fields, grazing cattle and Harry Potter materializing out of nothingness. What is noticeably absent from this scene is a smartphone, which Ms. Rowling was not holding in her hand, because smartphones did not exist over 20 years ago when this happened. If that fated train ride happened today, perhaps Ms. Rowling might have been taking a Buzzfeed quiz or reading through her friend’s rants on Facebook. The train would have sped on, leaving Harry behind.
As a pediatrician at a busy medical center, I observe parents and children as they spend time waiting for things. Waiting to be called in for a doctor’s visit. Waiting for a blood draw. Waiting for the nurse to come in to give vaccines. And when parents wait — even if it’s for a minute as the elevator arrives — they look at their phones. When I look out at my clinic’s waiting room, virtually every parent is absorbed in his or her smartphone. Stepping into the line for the cashier at the hospital cafeteria, phones whip out of pockets almost automatically. Even when the waiting is over, the phone often stays out. During a recent visit with a new patient about a fairly important health issue, her mother spent the entire visit scrolling through her phone, looking up only briefly to greet me.
[Read: Why Teen Girls Are at Such a High Risk for Depression.]
In the past few years, pediatricians have paid increasing attention to the issue of ” screen time,” defined as any time a child spends in front of an electronic device that is not related to homework. In a 2016 policy statement entitled “The Media and Young Minds,” the American Academy of Pediatrics proclaimed that less screen time is better. The report, however, focuses mainly on how and why to control screen time for children and only hints at the importance of parents’ own screen-related behaviors without giving any specific steps parents should take to act more responsibly.
This is an area in which pediatricians could ask more of parents. Given the centrality of the smartphone to modern life, pediatricians should not ask parents to give up their phones but rather to model a healthy relationship with their phone, the same way parents should model healthy relationships with food and exercise in the hopes that our children are watching. Practicing intentional smartphone use is one simple way to do this. Intentional smartphone use works like this: Before taking out their smartphone in the presence of children, parents should think to themselves, “Why am I taking out my phone?” and then provide the answer out loud.
What would intentional smartphone use look like? Before taking out your phone, verbalize the reason for it: “I’m texting your Dad so he knows we’re running late.” “I’m looking for a restaurant nearby.” “I’m looking at a photo your aunt just sent me of the new baby.” This would even apply to times when the phone is a much-needed mental break (which, as a mother of three young children, I have come to appreciate): “I’m checking the news” or “I’m going to read Facebook for five minutes just to veg out.” Once the task is completed, put the phone away.
[Read: How Electronics Could Be Affecting Your Child’s Health.]
And if there is no specified reason for taking out your phone, then don’t. Let your mind wander while you wait for the elevator. Turn to your kids in the waiting room and ask them where they would go on vacation if they could go anywhere in the world. Or ask what they think of their teacher, what they want to do this weekend or what should we make for dinner.
Modeling intentional smartphone use teaches children that the phone is a tool that can help inform us, entertain us and allow us to communicate information to people — but it’s not a filler for each spare minute of life, and it doesn’t replace two of our most important assets: our own free-thinking mind and our connection to other people. Constant, purposeless smartphone use sends the message to children that a phone is something we use to occupy any and all free moments in our day. They learn that there doesn’t need to be a reason to look at one’s phone, other than I’m awake right now and my phone is in my hand.
[Read: How to Customize a Healthier Approach to Screen Use for Your Family.]
In the era of smartphones, scientists are discovering the myriad ways in which unstructured time — even boredom — is good for us. When we give our minds free moments to wander throughout the day, we sleep better, we suffer less depression and anxiety, and we are more creative. Dr. Michael Rich, a “mediatrician” who studies the effects of media on adolescents, often tells the story of how Albert Einstein thought up the theory of relativity when he was bored, staring at the flowing river on his walk home from work. The potential of the unoccupied mind is immense, and we should not let smartphones steal every moment of our children’s (and our) free brain space. We should use our phones intentionally, in limited amounts throughout the day. We should show our children that we are happy to spend most of our unstructured moments chatting with them or simply sitting with our own thoughts. And we should hope that they will follow our lead so the next Harry Potter or theory of relativity might someday, out of the blue, jump into their minds.
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Parents: Please, Practice Intentional Smartphone Use originally appeared on usnews.com
