Many kids seem to be doing it all these days. They’re active, they’re involved and they’re volunteering, while maintaining rigorous schedules with school, sports, extracurriculars and homework. The recent surge in activism we’ve seen from our youth in response to gun violence in schools and other causes dear to them has made the whole nation take notice of their resourcefulness. Our kids are finding their voices and speaking out. They are finding their way and figuring out what they care about.
However, I am concerned that some of their involvement in community service and causes also has another motivation. Our kids are hoping that people will take notice — specifically, the folks wielding the power in college admissions offices across the country.
As an educator who works with parents and kids to develop social and emotional skills, I worry that we’re focusing too much on college acceptance rates as a measure of success rather than our kids’ actual happiness. Have our kids stopped doing things simply because they enjoy them? Are too many of their after-school activities influenced by their worries about getting into college rather than whether something is the right fit for them?
[See: 10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child.]
Colleges are becoming more competitive. More students are applying to more schools, and this can take a toll. Studies show that teens cite doing well in school and getting into a good college as a primary source of stress, and those same studies show that many parents aren’t recognizing this.
A drive to overachieve has many kids hyper-focused, worried and sleep-deprived. When kids don’t have the time to have fun, socialize, sleep or just chill out, that’s when things become unhealthy. For teens, a lack of sleep has been linked to depression and suicide.
Kids feel like they have to do it all. The pressure to make good grades in the hardest advanced placement classes, win prestigious awards and perform hundreds of hours of community service has become a game. Teens are feeling the pressure to be good at everything to impress prospective colleges, and when they fall short, they feel a sense of shame and inadequacy. And that’s not what life should be about.
Our kids should be enjoying the moment, not looking ahead and trying to craft the perfect story for someone else or planning out a life that looks good from the outside. They need to live their stories now.
If we don’t stop encouraging kids to look for fulfillment and success in admission to a prestigious university, they may arrive at the end goal and find it wasn’t worth it. Or worse, they may resent all the valuable time they wasted pursuing it.
[Read: What Makes Teens ‘Most Likely to Succeed?‘]
Fortunately, some universities have started to change the way they evaluate prospective students. There are new efforts to look at meaningful, real-life experiences rather than the usual laundry list of impressive extracurriculars and classes. These ideas are detailed in a college admissions campaign by Making Caring Common, a project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, that’s been endorsed by 65 universities and colleges, including the Ivy League.
They recommend that college admissions offices incorporate changes into their applications which encourage students to display not only excellence in academics and extracurriculars, but concern for others and the common good as well as authentic intellectual engagement.
Proponents of this approach are pushing colleges to clearly spell out what admissions teams value in prospective students. And this is starting to mean less “long brag sheets” and more meaningful activities, morality and character.
For instance, Making Caring Common recommends college applications have fewer blanks to fill in and more room for explanation of a couple of activities that matter to the student. There’s less tallying of AP classes and more delving into intellectual subjects the student cares about; fewer volunteer trips to exotic locations and more sustained community service experiences over a long period of time; less polishing of the application by parents and paid coaches and more authenticity, integrity and confidence that can be seen through the student’s own voice.
[See: 10 Interesting Ways to Volunteer at a Hospital.]
This new and enlightened way of evaluating our kids offers a glimmer of hope and the chance to get back to what matters most. If admissions offices start focusing on the meaningful, authentic and genuine aspects of a kid’s life before college, then maybe our kids can too. If teens see that following their personal passions and interests is valued, perhaps the tendency to “do it for the college resume” will lessen. And if we take away the pressure to be good at everything, then maybe our kids can finally start being themselves.
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Doing It for the College Resume originally appeared on usnews.com
