Stories matter.
That’s not just an opinion. That’s not an axiom or a homily or a saying or even a pithy bumper sticker slogan.
That’s a genuine biological imperative. There’s a reason we’ve been trading stories with each other since the time when we could trade anything at all. Our stories — those we share over dinner, the narratives we put down on paper, the arcs in movies and plays we scrutinize — these stories literally keep us whole.
Stories are our brains’ opposable thumbs. Without stories, we could not grasp the importance of an idea. We could not empathize with a friend. We’d even have trouble making plans for our future. If we ignore the importance of stories, then we ignore ourselves.
[Read: How to Provide the Validation Your Child Needs.]
Storytelling is at the very core of our identities. As is often the case with fictional narratives, the truth of what we say comes not from the facts of the stories themselves, but from the feelings that these facts engender. Historians know this well. A dry and soulless history of Western expansion will tell us that the 19th century Oregon Trail was dismal and dreadful. There was death and starvation and only fleeting success as Americans endeavored to traverse the vast country.
But what are the stories we tell of these times? We describe brave forays of men and women who need to embrace the untamed land rather than having the creature comforts of cities and towns. We talk of building communities and connections. If all we had were what the historians dryly tell us, can you imagine ever venturing anywhere new? Would we have ever gone to the moon if all we knew were the barest of facts?
Similarly, we help our children to grow and be well by sharing stories. There must be a reason that we choose to express our feelings in this unique and familiar format.
Evolutionary anthropologists have given this all sorts of thought. Why, they ask, did we evolve to make sense of the world most effectively through stories? From our religions to our laws to our very identities, we’ve used stories throughout the millennia to make sense of ourselves. One theorist, John D. Niles, has even suggested that we think of ourselves not only as Homo sapiens — “wise men” — but Homo narrans: We are creatures who create narratives.
This is especially the case for children. Kids spin rousing adventures out of thin air, working through their triumphs, fears and most intense disappointments in the safe space that stories afford. Research shows that kids use storytelling in a wide range of ways that improves their well-being, from coping with being different from peers to dealing with illness and grief.
[Read: Talking to Kids About Scary News.]
For some of us, this will all seem blindingly obvious. Of course stories matter, we’ll say. Of course stories keep us whole. This is something we already implicitly understand, right?
Well, let me tell you a true story.
Five years ago, I spoke up at a special meeting among parents and teachers in the school district where I live. There was talk of cutting the humanities, of focusing less on stories and art and more on science and math. There was no attempt made to bridge the connections between these disciplines. Additionally, the town was considering taking tax dollars away from the library. “Why have a library?” one person asked. “Honestly, what was the last book you read?”
In the end, our school kept these subjects as part of the curriculum, and the town continued to fund the library. But that debate reflects a much larger cultural shift. Colleges, high schools, middle schools, grade schools and even preschools are increasingly eschewing humanities for more technical skills.
Children have a keen eye for what is societally valued and what’s not. If we stop valuing our stories, we stop valuing all of the ways stories help kids developmentally, and how they make all of us whole. We can’t let this happen. If you feel helpless in this endeavor, remember that parents have special voices in their communities. Here are some suggestions for how you can most effectively use your voice:
— Tell stories to your children often. Use stories to understand and appreciate your family, your traditions and each other.
— Encourage children to share their stories, to create narratives and to get acquainted with others’ stories as well.
— Listen to the stories that your children tell you.
— Speak up about the value of stories in your communities. If funding for your library is threatened, intervene. If a proposed school curriculum leaves stories behind, object.
[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]
Can you imagine a world expressed entirely through power point presentations? That’s a dystopian story that doubles as a cautionary tale. Let’s not let it become our legacy.
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Storytelling Is Integral to Who We Are originally appeared on usnews.com
