The script has become grimly familiar: A wealthy, powerful and influential man in the public eye is accused of sexual harassment and other sexual misconduct by a woman or a handful of women. Initial press reports open a spigot of similar accusations by other alleged victims.
It happened with movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, comedian-actor Bill Cosby, presidential candidate Donald Trump, former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes, the former chairman of Fox News who died in May. Collectively, at least 140 women have accused these five men of a dizzying array of sexual misconduct, including, in the cases of Weinstein and Cosby, rape.
The lion’s share of the allegations — about 100 as of mid-October — accuse Weinstein and Cosby of dozens of alleged cases of sexual assault and rape. In a tweet, actress Rose McGowan wrote that “HW” raped her. Actress Asia Argento and two other women accused Weinstein of rape in published reports. Weinstein has apologized for his behavior and maintains he never forced anyone to have sex with him. In June, a judge declared a mistrial in Cosby’s sexual assault trial in Pennsylvania. He’s scheduled to be retried in April 2018.
The sheer volume of accusers and the fact that each of these men had so much to lose raises the question of whether some of them may have been acting out of a sexual compulsion, which some therapists also refer to as sexual addiction. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, a professional association for marriage and family therapists, defines sex addiction as an intimacy disorder characterized by “persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior despite increasing negative consequences to one’s self or others.” Sex addiction can include having multiple affairs, anonymous sex, obsessive dating and having sex with prostitutes. The organization estimates there are about 12 million sex addicts nationwide.
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Based on press reports of their alleged behavior, it appears unlikely any of these powerful men are sexually compulsive, some experts say. “It’s not about sex for them,” says Donna Scott-Tilley, a sexual assault nurse examiner and vice provost for research at Texas Woman’s University in Denton, Texas. “It’s about power and control. It’s about making a woman do what they want, exerting their authority or control over her.”
People who engage in sexual harassment and predatory behavior may do so out of narcissism, grandiosity and a sense of entitlement, says Nicholas Kardaras, a psychotherapist and executive director of The Dunes, an alcohol and drug addiction recovery center in East Hampton, New York. In addition to treating people with substance use disorder issues, Kardaras has also treated people with sexual addiction. Some powerful people may engage in sexual misconduct out of narcissism, he says. In the right dose, narcissism can be healthy if it includes, for example, a strong self-esteem, says Juliet Rohde-Brown, a psychologist in Santa Barbara, California. But unhealthy narcissism involves a preoccupation with yourself, the need for constant affirmation, thinking the world revolves around you and lacking empathy, she says. As Kardaras puts it: “It’s an extreme case of egocentrism. The thinking is, ‘I’m the master of the universe, and I can do what I want.'”
A significant number of the alleged incidents of sexual harassment or assault involving powerful men seem to be well-thought-out and planned, which suggests the misbehavior is about power, not compulsion, Rohde-Brown says. For example, many actresses, writers and other young women in the entertainment industry have said Weinstein invited them to his hotel room and asked for a massage or requested they watch him shower. Many of these women said Weinstein implied or said he could help their careers in exchange for sexual favors. As for Cosby, scores of women alleged he sexually assaulted them, in some cases after drugging their drink. In a sworn deposition in a civil lawsuit filed by one of his accusers, Cosby acknowledged providing quaaludes to women he wanted to have sex with. “These were planned-out strategies,” Rohde-Brown says. “This was not impulsive.”
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Wealth can also play a role in keeping some alleged victims silent, since those with large amounts of money can afford to pay legal settlements to alleged victims in exchange for their silence, Rohde-Brown says. For instance, legal settlements arising from Weinstein’s conduct were paid to several women, including McGowan, who alleged uninvited touching and other sexually inappropriate behavior, according to The New York Times and The New Yorker. In 2006, Cosby paid a civil settlement to Andrea Constand, the woman he’s accused of sexually assaulting.
The parent company for Fox News Channel reportedly cut checks for about $45 million in legal settlements during fiscal year 2017 to women who accused Ailes of sexual harassment and discrimination. Fox News and its parent company, 21 st Century Fox, also paid five women about $13 million to settle sexual harassment or other inappropriate behavior by O’Reilly. He was forced out of his job shortly after the disclosures were reported. In January, months before those settlements became public, O’Reilly settled a sexual harassment claim by a Fox News contributor for $32 million, The New York Times reported. On his website, O’Reilly wrote that reports on his settlements were “garbage” and that “my enemies who want to silence me have made my life extremely difficult hurt me in the marketplace, whether that will be forever, I don’t know.” He also wrote that he was mad at God. “I wish I had more protection,” he wrote.
In October 2016, about a month before the presidential election, The Washington Post posted online an Access Hollywood tape in which Trump bragged about being able to grope women’s genitals because he was a star. “You can do anything,” he said on the tape. Trump apologized for his remarks, which he dismissed as “locker room talk.” More than a dozen women subsequently came forward to accuse Trump of inappropriate behavior, including groping and unwanted kissing. Trump has denied wrongdoing.
Sexual compulsion, however, doesn’t necessarily involve sexual harassment or assault. For instance, after pro golfer Tiger Woods crashed an SUV into a tree at his Florida mansion in 2009, some news reports alleged that his wife, Elin Nordegren, had become angry after arguing with him about an alleged mistress and used a golf club to attack the vehicle. The incident ripped the veil off Woods’ secret life. Within weeks, reports of at least a dozen of Woods’ extramarital girlfriends surfaced. They included a nightclub owner, waitresses, models and one current and one former porn star. None of them accused Woods of coercion. Still, the disclosures were costly for Woods, who lost his marriage and tens of millions of dollars in endorsements. Following the revelations of his many affairs, Woods publicly apologized and checked into a Mississippi clinic to obtain treatment for sex addiction, the New York Daily News reported. Sexual compulsion is different from a strategic plan to undermine someone, Rohde-Brown says. “Sex addiction is much like other type of addictive behaviors, such as gambling, alcoholism, food addiction. The pull of addiction is — I’ve always thought of it like a monster — the jaws of addiction latch on and pull an individual to behavior that can be self-destructive as the individual attempts to reduce the tension of overwhelming arousal.”
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Sexual addiction is similar to a dependence on drugs and alcohol in that the addict’s tolerance grows over time, says Edythe Ryan, a licensed master social worker and sexual compulsivity consultant for Sierra Tucson, a behavioral and mental health treatment center in Tucson, Arizona. “Intensification is a perpetual drive in addiction,” she says. A sex addict may experience a pattern of escalation, such as increasing his or her number of partners or engaging in risky sexual behavior, which can have significant consequences to his or her relationships, employment and spiritual, physical and emotional health.
In contrast to people who behave in a sexually compulsive or addictive manner, those who engage in sexual harassment and predatory behavior are abusing power, Scott-Tilley says. “Sexual compulsion is really about a compulsive urge,” she says. “Sexual assault and sexual harassment are about acts of violence, not acts of sex.”
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Is There a Link Between Sex Addiction and Sexual Harassment and Assault? originally appeared on usnews.com
