In this age of helicopter parenting, many parents are intent on helping their child to become outstanding at something.
In pursuit of this outcome, parents tend to sign kids up for many activities, particularly those activities they think are going to be important and valuable and that they imagine their kids will love. The reality, however, is that what resonates for a parent may or may not interest the child. In addition, there are only so many hours in a day. Children who are overscheduled tend to feel highly stressed and have no mental energy left for exploration, curiosity and creative thinking, the very building blocks for developing a true talent.
Every brain is a little bit different, and life experiences add to the biological foundation for specific attributes, weaknesses and affinities. Children need time and space to explore and be exposed to different areas of interest in more minimal ways, so that they’re able to discover what they’re truly passionate about. Giving them the opportunity to pursue these passions, as they discover them, will help them to determine and develop their talents.
[Read: For the Sake of Our Kids’ Mental Health, We Must Teach Them to Innovate.]
Often parents think that it matters little where a child’s interests lie, and that as long as a child practices enough, it’s possible to become expert at anything. This is not true. Studies have found that while a great deal of practice can make you good at something, it is the deep passion behind what you practice that allows the brain to be bathed in dopamine, the neurotransmitter of reward, which enhances the neural connections further and makes for exceptional talent.
A parent cannot make a child like something, embrace it and experience feelings that this is something he or she not only wants to do, but wants to be. That kind of desire and drive must come from within the child. In fact, it is when a child can really identify with others who have a specific talent, and the child really believes he or she could excel at this skill in the future, that the child’s brain is truly stimulated and the child is drawn to a particular interest.
[Read: Teaching Children to Be More in Tune With Their Minds.]
What a parent can do is expose a child to many possible interests and then look for the child’s eyes to light up at the prospect of doing what the child is seeing.
The type of practice required to develop a talent is also very important. Studies have found that the praise of effort and not the praise of natural ability makes a world of difference. This is because praise of ability leads children to be so geared toward success that they stop taking risks and challenging themselves for fear of making a mistake. But it’s actually the mistakes that provide the opportunity for the most learning and improvement. Furthermore, it’s the kids who see making mistakes as a good thing (because they provide the opportunity to learn) who tend to practice more, which results in high talent development.
While practice time focused on hard work and analyzing mistakes in an area of interest are important, slow practice is also key. By slowing down and breaking any ability into small pieces, something can be perfected and then later sped up. This means that when a child does gravitate toward a talent they truly enjoy, the child needs to spend the kind of time practicing that skill that leaves minimal time for other activities.
[See: 10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child.]
Of course, not every child can pair finding a thing that he or she loves with the ability to practice it so much. So this can’t be an aim for every single one. But many children, if given the opportunity, can zero in on what they really enjoy, and parents should give them the space and time to develop talents that stem from those interests. It is this combination of nature (it fits their strengths and interests) and nurture (they are exposed, practice and are praised in the right way) that allows a child to develop a great talent.
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How Parents Can Help Children Develop Their True Talents originally appeared on usnews.com
