Have you noticed an uptick in kids insulting one another, denying the truth of what you have told them as their parent or saying whatever they want to be true as though it were the truth? Are you concerned that your child seems to increasingly speak in sound bites that are sarcastic or even aggressive?
Unfortunately, today’s political climate of division, marked by shouting down the other side, denial of truth and creating an alternate reality to suit one’s preferred world view as well as increasingly aggressive and sometimes even violent rhetoric and imagery, is likely taking a toll on children’s minds and behavior.
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
Kids look to parents’ behavior to determine how they themselves should behave. They also look to parental stand-ins, or role models, for cues as to how to view the world, morals to uphold and behaviors that follow suit.
The current political climate of incivility in the U.S. is captured not only in news coverage but on full display in social media, a realm which many children have ready access to through smartphones and other devices. What kids (and their parents) are seeing is nothing short of a daily barrage of bad behavior. That includes everything from bullying and insulting others to refusal to compromise, attempts to cheat and lie, and very often, political leaders showing a complete and utter lack of empathy for others. It’s no small wonder kids are echoing this behavior at home and in school.
It takes effort and nuance to steer your kids away from incorporating these warped “values” and “morals” and this type of behavior into their daily routine. So don’t try to fight fire with fire. Rather than fending off a politician’s modeling with a similarly vulgar offensive, make observations about their handling of the issue (aside from the issue itself) and how you would hope to do things differently.
[Read: Politics and the Anxious Child.]
For instance, you might tell your child that you wish the politician had been more honest in making his or her case; and you might discuss how you value truth above being right. Or if a politician is publicly bullying or insulting an opponent, you might tell your child, “I think saying something that hurtful is wrong and beneath that person’s important position.”
Give examples of past leaders who accomplished things with more moral behavior, and explain your admiration for that. Most of all, model the morals, values and behaviors you want your children to exhibit.
Explain that in both your work and in making difficult day-to-day life decisions, you’ve had to make sacrifices to do the right thing instead of always getting what you want. Talk about why it’s important to be kind instead being mean or cruel, irrespective of the circumstances. And discuss why it’s more important to admit when you are wrong rather than lying or cheating to get your way.
[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]
Childhood is the time when moral compasses are formed, and it’s much harder to change later on. Parents’ jobs are harder when the leaders of the country are behaving badly. But with awareness and persistence moms and dads can lay the groundwork to overcome today’s political incivility.
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Modeling Civility at Home originally appeared on usnews.com
