My 10-year-old daughter and I watched roughly five minutes of a popular TV show marketed to tween girls (that her friends talk about at recess fairly regularly) before she hit the pause button and we froze. I waited for her to speak first. “Why do they make the girls talk like that?” It was a good question. The characters in question used a combination of upspeak, making all of their statements into questions for validation, and flirtatious laughter to communicate with the male characters. While the male characters used assertive communication and posturing, the female characters did the exact opposite.
Sadly, this remains fairly common in media generated for children and adolescents. A recent report from Common Sense Media titled “Watching Gender: How Stereotypes in Movies and on TV impact Kids’ Development” shows that gender stereotypes in movies and on TV are both persistent and effective. Kids are getting the message that boys are smarter than girls, boys have more opportunities than girls, and girls are sexual beings that are at least partially responsible for their own assaults (to name a few examples).
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
The oversimplification of gender roles begins in preschool programming, where male characters are more often portrayed as strong and heroic and female characters need help or rescuing, and morphs into aggression in males and meek behavior in females as kids grow into tweens and teens. While Hollywood is making some progress in breaking down gender stereotypes, we still have a long way to go. Here are some takeaways from the Common Sense Media report:
— 75 percent of parents say girls are “very” or “extremely” influenced by TV shows and movies when it comes to how they look.
— 59 percent of parents are “very” or “extremely” concerned when males are portrayed as “hyper-violent, aggressive and predatory” and 68 percent are “very” or “extremely” concerned with media portrayals of girls or women that involve violence.
— Higher levels of TV viewing are associated with 4-year-olds being more likely to believe others think boys and men are better than girls and women.
— Media use among early adolescents is associated with more tolerant views of sexual harassment and acceptance of dating violence.
— Television exposure may be related to children’s career aspirations, with girls who watch more clips showing female stereotypes expressing less interest in science, technology, engineering and math careers than those who are shown footage featuring female scientists.
— Parents can help change the narrative for kids and help kids internalize positive messages about gender roles by taking a proactive role in sourcing balanced media for kids and holding ongoing family discussions about themes that kids view in their shows and movies.
Guiding Preschool and Younger School-aged Kids
Don’t wait to begin breaking down gender stereotypes in media so kids can see through these. Young children are learning about gender roles. While preschoolers begin to learn the differences between men and women, older children begin to think about specific activities and occupations based on gender.
Choose carefully. Look for TV shows and movies that show men and women in non-traditional and expanded roles. Look for male teachers and female firefighters to show kids that they don’t have to conform to certain roles based on their gender.
Talk about real life role models. Think about the people your kids know who are doing great things in this world. Kids shouldn’t be conditioned to look for future prospects in the media, which is limiting at best. Talk about the various jobs your family, friends and neighbors do to expand their worldview.
Point out positive actions. Remove the focus on appearance by talking about the actions characters take to resolve conflicts, help others or make the world a better place. Discussing the capabilities of the characters by focusing on what they do helps kids shift focus from how they look to who they are. That’s an important shift in thinking at this stage of development.
[See: 10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child.]
Advising Tweens and Teens
Kids in these age groups can feel self-conscious about the transition to adolescence and begin to think about male-female relationships. They also tend to want to choose their own shows and movies. Keep the lines of communication open and listen more than you talk to help them make positive choices.
Talk about the way relationships play out on the screen. Relationships in movies and on TV develop at a much faster pace than real life relationships, but tweens and teens don’t always take this into consideration. It’s important to talk about healthy, positive interactions between male and female characters and to assess the missteps. What caused an on-screen relationship to end? Does it seem like something that might happen at school?
Point out assertive female characters. When shows have multiple storylines, it’s easy to get caught up in the plot and miss important positive attributes of the characters. Take the time to deconstruct the characters and point out things such as assertiveness, compassion and resilience.
Talk about characters that defy gender stereotypes. Boys cry. Girls get angry. Boys like to dance. Girls like contact sports. Pointing out male characters that nurture others and female characters that join the FBI helps kids internalize the message that gender doesn’t limit them. We all experience emotions, we all have our own dreams for the future, and we’re all capable of hard work and overcoming hardship.
[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]
Parents often tell me that TV or technology time is their time to take a break. There’s no doubt about it, the days are long during all stages of parenting, but if we want to raise kids that defy gender stereotypes and question what they see in the media, we need to sit with them and ask and answer hard questions. When parents engage in media time with their kids, kids learn to question the messages and draw their own conclusions instead of simply ingesting what Hollywood dishes out.
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How to Teach Kids About Gender Stereotypes in Media originally appeared on usnews.com
