Are you caring for a loved one who has cancer? If so, you’re not alone. According to the National Cancer Institute, there are approximately 2.8 million cancer caregivers in the U.S. — devoting, on average, 33 hours per week to caregiving activities. Roughly two-thirds provide care to a partner or spouse. “Caregivers are part of the health care system, but they are not paid,” says Rachel Cannady, strategic director of Cancer Caregiver Support at the American Cancer Society.
Caregivers perform a range of services, including helping patients with medications, driving them to doctor appointments, preparing meals, managing financial and insurance matters and providing emotional and spiritual support. In fact, family caregivers are often not recognized as having a significant influence on patient care and outcomes.
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Caring for Someone With Colorectal Cancer
Taking care of someone who has colorectal cancer has unique challenges. Some patients require a temporary or permanent colostomy following surgery to remove a tumor. A colostomy is an opening (stoma) in the abdominal wall with a pouch to collect waste. Patients who have a colostomy lose control over their own bowel elimination. Colostomy care includes emptying the pouch and cleaning the area around the stoma. Patients who have a colostomy worry about odors and leakage and may have skin problems around the stoma. It can cause embarrassment, interfering with social activities and intimate relationships.
Furthermore, the course of treatment of CRC tends to last a long time and, in cases of advanced disease, patients must often undergo frequent treatments, Cannady says. Side effects from treatment can also be cumulative.
Advice for Caregivers
Caregivers repeatedly report lower mental well-being, Cannady says. It’s essential that caregivers attend to their own physical and emotional needs.
Take time for yourself — and don’t feel guilty. Diane Robinson, a neuropsychologist and program director for Cancer Support Community/Integrative Medicine at UFHealth Cancer Center — Orlando Health, equates caregiver self-care to the oxygen mask on an airplane — you take care of yourself first so you can properly take care of your loved one. “You’re the lynchpin [in your family]. What happens to the family if you don’t care for yourself?”
Guilt is a big issue for caregivers. It’s a perpetual cycle, Cannady says: If you get away, you feel guilty for not doing enough or spending enough time. Guilt is going to be there even if you don’t take time, Cannady says, so you might as well take it. Give yourself permission to not feel guilty. Unresolved guilt contributes to depression, anxiety and social isolation.
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Don’t go it alone. Reach out to other people, and ask for help. There are plenty of resources to help you, such as MyLifeLine, Cannady says, where you can set up a calendar for friends and family to clean or bring meals or provide whatever support you need. “It allows people to insert themselves into the patient’s care. It’s preferable to [someone] asking ‘What can I do?’ More often than not, you’re not going to say what you really need.”
Plan fun activities. “Make time for things that bring you joy outside of your caregiving role,” Cannady says. “It’s the only way your batteries will be recharged.”
Become well-educated. Knowing what to expect from cancer and treatment will prepare you for what’s to come and give you a sense of control and confidence, which helps lessen stress.
Consider participating in a support group. Support groups are not just for cancer patients. They can provide support and resources for caregivers as well and help you cope, which will lower your stress level. Since spouses are often primary caregivers, Robinson says, everything falls on them. “Caregivers watch the sick person and have to keep everything together and juggle responsibilities,” she says. “It can be overwhelming.”
If you don’t have a coping strategy, long-term, chronic stress is damaging to your body. “Support groups can give [patients and caregivers] coping tools to adapt to stress and build in resistance,” Robinson says.
The Upsides of Caregiving
While it’s extremely stressful, there are positive aspects of caregiving, Cannady says, including post-traumatic growth for many caregivers. “It can change your life.” Caregivers reprioritize their relationships and sometimes grow closer to the patient. “They learn not to sweat the small stuff,” she says. “They learn everything is relative.”
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Resources for Caregivers
— Create community and organize help for patients and caregivers: CaringBridge.org, MyLifeLine, LotsaHelpingHands.com
— National Cancer Institute: When Someone You Love is Being Treated For Cancer (booklet includes a caregiver bill of rights) and Cancer information Specialist: 800-4-CANCER (800-422-6237)
— National Alliance for Caregiving
— American Cancer Society’s Caregivers and FamilyCancer Support Community
More from U.S. News
8 Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Colon Cancer
6 Options for People Who Don’t Want a Colonoscopy
What Causes Cancer? 5 Unlikely Claims Explained
Advice for Colon Cancer Caregivers originally appeared on usnews.com
