The bikini heebie-jeebies
Jodi Rubin’s client prayed for rain. That’s how much she dreaded Memorial Day weekend — and the baring of her body she expected to come with it. “It’s really stressful for people,” says Rubin, a therapist in New York City who specializes in eating disorders and body image issues. Indeed, research has even shown that simply imagining trying on a bathing suit in a dressing room dampens mood and boosts self-objectification — a thought pattern linked to anxiety, depression and eating disorders. But it is possible to embrace summer with open arms — even if those arms aren’t as toned as you’d like. Here are seven tips for boosting your bathing suit body confidence:
Get a reality check.
Chances are, what you see in the mirror is not what other people see when they look at you, says Charlotte Markey, a health psychologist at Rutgers University who studies eating and body image issues. “Research suggests that our partners and our friends see us much more positively than we see ourselves,” she says. While whining about feeling fat is rarely productive, listening to loved ones’ perspectives of your body can be, Markey says. And remember: Most people at the pool aren’t concerned with your body, adds Kate Browne, a writer, speaker and coach affiliated with the Body Positive Fitness Alliance, or BPFA. “No one will remember your jiggly thighs,” she says.
Invest in attire you love.
Celebrate! While in decades past, your swimsuit options may have been limited to a competitive Speedo or a string bikini, today, you can have your pick of the Lycra. “Spend the time and money to invest in one that makes you feel like your best self,” suggests Jenna Taylor, co-owner of Fitness Balanced in Wakefield, Massachusetts, which is also affiliated with BPFA. BPFA-affiliated coach Kimberly Weiss has similar advice: “Wear something you feel good in — it doesn’t matter if it’s completely covered up, a cute sundress or a thong bikini,” so long as you’re comfortable, she says. “If you feel good, you will look good.”
Get pumped up.
When Browne needs a shot of confidence, she turns to music: “I can’t help but feel like a superstar when I hear ‘Good as Hell’ by Lizzo,” she says. Take a cue from her by thinking of a word that describes how you want to feel at the upcoming event — be it fierce, cool, comfortable or beautiful — and listening to a song oozing with that feeling, Browne recommends. Research supports her: One study found that listening to powerful music like Queen’s “We Will Rock You” evokes feelings of power — especially if you’ve cranked up the bass. “If you’re feeling nervous,” Browne adds, “listen to your song early and often.”
Consider the guest list.
If there’s one way to guarantee a feel-bad beach experience, it’s by going with the wrong people. “Go to the pool or beach with people you like — not people who make you feel bad about your body,” Weiss says. The latter can include people who talk about their bodies, dieting and other superficial topics, Rubin says. “It’s easy to get caught up if people are caught up around you,” she says. Instead, surround yourself with people who like you for you — and remind yourself why you like them, too. “When you make new friends, are you so interested in the size and shape of their body?” Rubin asks. “Of course not.”
Kill comparisons.
Comparing your body to others — or even to younger, fitter or childless versions of yourself — will get you nowhere. In fact, research suggests it will set you back by making you feel worse about yourself, Markey says. Even comparing yourself to others on Facebook is linked to poor body image. So instead of looking over at your friend’s flat stomach and thinking, “My belly is so fat and I’m embarrassed,” challenge those thoughts by thinking, “My belly is my belly and her belly is her belly, and my belly has nothing to do with her belly,” Rubin suggests. Browne’s favorite mantras? “I belong here” and “My body is a good body.”
Fake it til you make it.
The best cover-ups for self-doubt also happen to be free: They’re a big smile, great attitude and aura that screams you love every inch of your body, whether or not it’s true. “Tell yourself, ‘This is it — I’m putting on this bathing suit; I’m going to pretend it doesn’t bother me,'” Markey suggests. “And hopefully, eventually, it won’t.” Indeed, says Steven Reyes, a coach in Redlands, California, who works with bariatric surgery patients, “the key to body confidence begins before you get to the pool.” Practicing listening to your body, combating self-criticism and accepting every version of your body “puts you in a place of contentment and confidence,” he says.
Jump in.
Why are you even wearing a bathing suit to begin with? “Whether you’re vacationing with a partner, playing beach volleyball or hanging out with friends, you have a reason to wear that suit” that’s more about function than appearance, says Mallory Cislo, owner of the BPFA-affliated Positively Fit Lake Highlands in Dallas. Diving in won’t only give you the confidence-boosting benefits of exercise, but it will also bring attention to your body’s abilities, not its looks — and allow you to make memories that last. “I remember how fun it was when [my mother] let go of her inhibitions, shed the cover-up and played with us kids,” Cislo says. “I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.”
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7 Ways to Boost Poolside Confidence Without Changing Your Body originally appeared on usnews.com
