“What’s your favorite color?” asked the child in my office doorway, voice quivering, hands clasped, eyes making contact with the ceiling.
“Blue. I like a lot of colors, but blue is my favorite these days. How about you?” I motioned for her to have a seat.
She took a deep breath, smiled kindly and sat. She was doing well. At our Anxiety and Mood Program at Montefiore Medical Center, we provide cognitive behavioral treatment for children with anxiety disorders, and a main component of treatment includes gradual exposure to and practice with situations that make youth anxious. In this case, because of her social anxiety and fears of sounding silly in conversations and associated avoidance of those conversations, she was practicing starting a conversation with a new person. That was me. I was not her therapist in this case, but a new person to practice approaching.
[See: 10 of the Biggest Health Threats Facing Your Kids This School Year.]
First question down, she settled into her seat, and her eyes floated down and met mine. “Um, are you an immigrant?” Having participated in countless youth exposures, you learn to expect that all sorts of questions can happen. Though I didn’t quite expect this question at this time, I must admit working in the Bronx, New York, and with the unavoidable and ubiquitous news of executive orders, border walls, deportation raids and possible health care cuts — in an already stressed and stretched community — election-triggered anxiety has managed to infuse itself almost daily.
“No, I was born here, in New Jersey, but my parents are immigrants. They were born in Portugal.” I did not reciprocate the “How about you?” I did not want to ask about her documentation status. Having received instructions from her therapist to let her lead the conversation rather than rescuing her when there is silence by talking too soon or too much, I stayed silent.
“My mom was born here, but my dad wasn’t. She’s really worried. Me too. And we have a cousin, he left and now can’t come back.” I tried to validate how awful that worry must be, and that I knew other kids were having these worries, too. She went on to ask me some questions about my day, hobbies, my thoughts on politics, other “kid guests” who may come to my office and general topics, and we had solid conversational volley with minimal “awkward” silences. While her level of anxiety, speech volume and eye contact varied, she persisted.
She exemplified one of multiple pathways in which the election and inauguration have made their way into the content of anxious youths’ worries. In addition to her own worry about her father’s deportation, she is observing and absorbing her parents’ daily worries, as well.
[See: 9 Sports Injuries That Sideline Kids.]
The American Psychological Association’s latest Stress in America survey indicates reported stress levels have increased for the first time in a decade, and the majority of Americans are stressed about politics and the overall future of the country.
Given that anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issues faced by children and teens, these youth may be particularly vulnerable. As the “kid guests” in our offices report feeling uncertain about their families or even terrified about their futures, I am reminded professionally now more than ever that the political is indeed personal.
Here are some tips for helping kids who may be struggling with anxiety related to current political news and events:
1. Listen. Create a space for them to discuss what’s on their mind. News is everywhere, and they may need a place to talk, ask questions or clarify.
2. Depending on the age and developmental level of your child, limit the amount of news he or she watches. Find a sweet spot between being informed and becoming overwhelmed.
3. Validate their anxiety. Uncertainty can be scary.
4. Remind them that many grownups are working to keep them and others safe.
5. Model your values out loud. Why does this particular issue upset you? Why are you making that donation to that particular organization? Why are you going to that march?
6. Share your values and outrage, while being mindful of oversharing your own anxieties or despair.
7. Make a plan for when they feel anxious or scared. Problem solve. Take some deep breaths, and do mindfulness or meditation. Talk to someone. Practice reminding them that those anxious and sad feelings are temporary. Is there a particular political, social or environmental issue that they’re worried about? Find a way to get involved.
[See: 6 Ways to Help Kids Combat Materialism.]
If youth continue to struggle with anxieties that get in the way of their daily functioning, consider seeking professional help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is an evidence-based approach to helping children and teens with anxiety.
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Politics and the Anxious Child originally appeared on usnews.com
