I used to want Brad Pitt’s body in “Fight Club.” I thought it was perfect, and I was sure that if I worked hard enough, I could reach that level of perfection. And I tried: I hit the gym every day, hired a trainer, followed a strict diet and never cheated. I saw results, but I was miserable. I was hungry and tired, and I hated working out. I finally reached my breaking point. I gave in, lost heart and began eating and drinking too much and exercising too little.
A few years later, I decided to get serious again. Sure, I still had Brad Pitt in the back of my mind, but making his body my own wasn’t my goal. Instead, my goal was to stop focusing on what I saw in the mirror and start focusing on how I felt. By changing the way I thought about health and fitness, I found myself succeeding at becoming the healthiest version of me. Thanks to adding dance, which I love, and later, strength training and high-intensity interval training to my routine, I was getting stronger and leaner, gaining energy — and enjoying my workouts. It took time and hard work, but finally, I had the Brad Pitt body. In fact, it was better. It was mine.
[See: 13 Fun Sports That Burn Calories.]
Now, as a personal trainer and fitness instructor, I see many women fall into a similar trap I first did. They want “her” body — “her” being a gorgeous, toned, happy-looking celebrity or Instagram star who works out every day and eats ice cream for dessert. But succumbing to the pressure of trying to become “her” can severely affect expectations and ultimately derail the commitment to lead a healthy lifestyle.
As I learned the hard way, the key to success is in the goal setting. Forget about “her” — you’re not getting paid millions of dollars to have a six pack; it isn’t your job to have perfectly sculpted arms; you don’t have time to work out two or more hours a day. So, why not let “her” go and start setting goals for you? Here’s how:
1. Set a goal based on your behavior — not the end result.
If you want to lose weight, don’t focus on how many pounds you want to drop by the end of the month; you can’t completely control that. Instead, focus on behaviors that will help you lose the weight. For example, aim to avoid alcohol during the week, always take the stairs, work out four days a week or sleep eight hours every night. These are all habits you have control over. Focusing on behavior, not end results, is what will actually lead you to achieve your goals.
[See: How to Break 7 Unhealthy Habits.]
2. Turn negative goals into positive ones.
I hear a lot of my clients set goals with the words “no,” “stop” and “won’t.” For example, they say they won’t eat any more candy, will stop drinking alcohol and won’t stay up late. In my experience, this way of thinking leads to failure since there is too much focus on the negative and not enough on the positive. Why feel bad about yourself when the point is to feel better? Try to change your goals to things you will do, rather than what you won’t do. You may, for instance, plan to cut up veggies each week so you have healthy snacks available, drink three liters of water daily (and more if you do an intense workout) or give yourself 10 minutes to meditate before bedtime.
3. Set a realistic goal.
Aim for something you know for a fact you can achieve. Even if you start out with something small, like drinking water at every meal, that’s OK. This way of goal setting gives you a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Choosing realistic and attainable goals will help build the foundation you need to have long-term success. For example, instead of seeking out the newest diet fad or detox, try adding a vegetable to each meal or stopping eating when you are 70 percent full.
[See: 10 Healthy Habits of the ‘Naturally’ Thin.]
The bottom line when setting any goal is to be kind to yourself. Be your biggest fan. Aim for better — not perfect. Make your body the body you want.
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Want ‘Her’ Body? Don’t originally appeared on usnews.com
