Mitch Abrams was about 15 years old when he first discovered how dangerous anger could be. While fuming in his Brooklyn bedroom, probably about a girlfriend, his mom opened the door, startling him and triggering him to instinctively reach for a folding chair in front of him. “I ripped it apart like it was paper,” Abrams recalls. “It was the first and only time I saw my mom scared.” He was scared too.
By the time he reached college, Abrams had come to understand how advantageous anger could be. While seething, probably about how helpless he felt after his older sister’s death, in the gym where he worked, he excelled. “I was able to lift more than a lot of other people because I had these anger reserves that I knew how to tap into,” Abrams says. “This is fuel,” he recalls thinking, “this is good.”
[See: 8 Signs You Were Made to Be an Athlete.]
As Abrams learned firsthand, there’s a fine line between dangerous anger and productive anger — in athletics and beyond. On the one hand, studies show that anger can diminish athletes’ attention, cognition and fine motor skills, which can be particularly detrimental in sports like golf and tennis. Other research finds that aggressive hockey players suffer more head injuries than their less-aggressive teammates. Even spectators can cause serious harm if their anger boils over.
“It’s against the spirit and ethos of what the event is supposed to be about,” says Kristen Dieffenbach, an associate professor at West Virginia University’s College of Physical Activity and Sports Sciences and a member of the Association of Applied Sport Psychology executive board. “[Spectator violence] has altered lives.”
On the other hand, when harnessed effectively, anger “is unbelievable fuel” that can set top athletes apart, says Abrams, now a sport, clinical and forensic psychologist with offices in Fords and Tinton Falls, New Jersey, who wrote “Anger Management in Sport: Understanding and Controlling Violence in Athletes.” Just like a perfectly-cooked steak that’s juicy on the inside and crusty on the outside, he says, “If you know how to use high heat, you can achieve some beautiful things, but … if you can’t adjust the flame, you burn up.”
So whether you play pickup basketball on weekends or are going for the gold, here’s how experts suggest controlling destructive anger and capitalizing on helpful anger:
1. Know your line.
To better handle counterproductive anger, you first need to recognize when your fury has reached that tipping point. But traditional anger-management techniques for doing that — namely, to notice body changes that signal anger like an increased heart rate and sweating — don’t work during exercise since it causes those same physical reactions, Abrams says. Instead, athletes should aim to pay attention to changes in their thoughts and feelings. “When you’re more interested in executing your opponent than executing the called play, that’s the sign you’re in the wrong spot,” he says.
2. Know your triggers.
Identifying what gets under your skin — be it a ref’s poor call or an opponent’s trash talk — can better help you brush it off. “I want athletes to be like Teflon,” Abrams says. “You know your triggers and you protect them.”
3. Cool off.
Once you catch yourself crossing over into dangerous anger territory, relaxation techniques like visualizing a calm place, tuning into relaxing music, stepping away from the situation or practicing deep breathing can help. “You cannot breathe slow and steady and be all upset at the same time,” says former Green Bay Packers linebacker George E. Koonce Jr., who’s now senior vice president of the Office of University Relations at Marian University in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. Not all strategies work for everyone, but they all require practice on and off the field before becoming second nature, experts say. “Trigger recognition and ability to calm down is like packing a travel bag — you need to have a portable set of skills to go with you,” Abrams says.
[See: 8 Ways to Relax — Now.]
4. Consider the consequences.
It’s easy to act before thinking when you’re absorbed in competition, but thinking about the potential aftermath before acting destructively can help prevent you from doing something you regret, Abrams says. For Koonce, that meant considering how his behavior would impact those he cared about. “If you [lose your temper,] you’re going to really make mistakes,” he says. “You don’t want to disappoint your teammates, your fans, your family and your coaches.”
5. Enlist others.
Just like the games themselves, anger management in sports is a team effort. Winning in that department requires all participants to take responsibility for themselves and others by, for example, helping teammates recognize when they appear to be at breaking points. “You can create a culture where teammates and coaches will work to identify when somebody is off,” Abrams says. To build such an environment, athletes and their leaders first need to recognize anger as a normal human emotion — and anger management not as punishment, but as part of what it takes to be the best. “Athletes that don’t know how to access [anger] are leaving money on the table,” Abrams says.
[See: 8 Health Challenges Facing Olympic Athletes.]
6. Put it in perspective.
Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had it right when he told fans who were anxious about the team’s slow start to “R-E-L-A-X” back on a radio show in 2014, Koonce says. After all, supporting a team is supposed to lighten up — not weigh down — the stress of everyday life. “Sport is that outlet we all need,” Koonce says. That same perspective can be applied to athletes fuming on the field. “Stop that rant in your head, be mindful, life is too short — lighten up and have fun,” Koonce says. “Loss in sport is only instructional on how to get better.”
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How to Control Your Temper While Playing Sports originally appeared on usnews.com
