This is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and the theme is “It’s Time To Talk About It.” I completely agree. We need to raise awareness about this common problem that affects so many, including children. The stakes are too high not to talk about it.
In the United States, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some point in their lives, according to the National Eating Disorders Association. Every 62 minutes, at least one person dies as a direct result of an eating disorder.
Girls are especially vulnerable. NEDA notes that by age 6, girls start to express concern about their weight and shape. In fact, 40 to 60 percent of girls are concerned about their weight or about becoming “fat,” and according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, roughly half of teenage girls and one-quarter of teenage boys are dissatisfied with their bodies. Body dissatisfaction and worries about being overweight follow many children into adulthood.
[See: What to Say and Do If Your Daughter Thinks She’s Fat.]
It’s incredibly sad. As a dietitian, I see so many clients who arrive in my office because they’re ashamed of their bodies and willing to take drastic steps to change their appearance; and many of them are kids.
One of my clients came to me at just 9 years old. Her doctor was concerned about possible failure to thrive after reviewing a downward trend on her growth chart (she was not growing in height or weight as expected). It turned out that her parents, in a totally honest effort to help her eat better, were becoming extremely ingredient-conscious — analyzing every ingredient in every food they might eat and deeming it “good” or “bad.” They identified as a ” clean eating” household. Most desserts and even a staple like wheat bread was off limits. Meanwhile, her dad had begun exercising with her, showing her moves he learned in CrossFit, an intense, weight-bearing workout that’s not necessarily suitable for young kids who haven’t hit puberty. Many Crossfit athletes embrace a Paleo diet, which excludes things such as dairy and grains, and the little girl was also beginning to eat that way. Between the rigid food plan and the exercise, she’d become incredibly anxious and unhappy.
Her parents meant well. They wanted her to be healthy. But they did not realize that the body-focused food elimination and exercise regimen was unnecessary for them and harmful to her, and I felt so grateful that she was sent to me. We identified the problems, and I recommended a screening for an eating disorder. She received treatment and recovered. Less than a year later, I saw her at an eating disorder walkathon, raising awareness with her mom. “We’re so glad we know better now,” her mom told me.
[Read: Are Your Weight Concerns for Your Kids Too Much.]
I was glad, too. My life’s work is about compassion. I try to teach my clients that loving your body is about health, exercise and self-acceptance. Good health has absolutely nothing to do with a number on a scale or the amount of calories consumed in any given day. It’s about the way you feel; it’s about being good to yourself; and it’s about treating your body with kindness and love. It’s not about beating yourself up because you’re not meeting a dieting goal. When it comes to loving your body, there’s no such thing as failure. As parents, these are the kinds of lessons we also need to teach our kids to ward off disordered eating. Here are some tips:
Don’t discuss diets with your children. With our culture putting so much focus on thinness, a recent NEDA survey found that 70 percent of people believe encouraging the media and advertisers to use more average-sized people in their campaigns would reduce or prevent eating disorders. While we can’t control the media, we can control the message at home. The AAP recommends parents avoid putting children on a diet and making comments about weight in order to help prevent obesity and eating disorders in adolescents.
Don’t fixate on body mass index at the pediatrician’s office. If you have weight concerns about your child, ask your doctor to focus on overall health metrics, such as blood pressure or cholesterol, instead of pounds. A study in the Journal of Obesity notes that a higher BMI doesn’t cause poor health. The journal recommends that doctors focus on talking to patients about overall health instead of where they fall on the weight spectrum; it also recommends against focusing on weight loss, which can lead to “weight cycling” and yo-yo dieting. This is my battle cry: Diets don’t work! Body kindness isn’t about depriving your body; it’s about nourishing it.
Bring body kindness into your home. I have a saying with clients: “You can’t hate yourself healthy.” No matter how much you berate yourself for not living up to society’s expectations, it’s not going to help your self-image. So try to model this for your kids. Let them see you taking care of yourself, whether it’s by going for a walk in nature or enjoying a delicious ice cream cone. Try to display ways in which enjoying food and good health is pleasurable, not a chore. Cook together as a family. Choose a favorite restaurant to visit one night a week. AAP guidelines suggest that frequent family meals are associated with healthier eating patterns and protect against disordered eating. Family dinners are one of my favorite ways of modeling a positive approach toward food.
[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]
Don’t blame yourself if your child has an eating disorder. If your child does have an eating disorder, please remember that it’s not your fault. The American Psychiatric Association, the Academy for Eating Disorders and NEDA have published guidelines indicating that parents do not cause eating disorders, even though they’re often blamed (especially moms). We can support our children by laying the groundwork for healthy eating, but eating disorders often have a strong biological root. The best we can do is to create a world of body kindness for our kids by feeding them the right messages, as soon as we can.
More from U.S. News
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What Every Parent Should Know About Eating Disorders originally appeared on usnews.com
