Psst. Over here. Yeah, you. I’m talking to you. Come closer … there, much better now.
Here’s the scoop: If you’ve ever walked by someone’s cubicle at work and they’re whispering, let’s just say that’s a huge sign they’re talking about something office-related. And it may just be confidential.
It happens more often than not, whether you hear something you don’t want to necessarily hear (and then, of course you simply can’t unhear it!) or maybe you’re so miserable that you confide in your office buddy because you simply can’t tolerate your job anymore.
[See: The 6 Best Jobs for Work-Life Balance.]
I encountered this firsthand several years ago when my boss’s boss approached me and quizzically asked why I decided to stay with the company for a long time. I didn’t expect the question and somehow tried to convince myself: “The abundance of personal time.” Really? That’s when sometimes a conversation can spark you to become introspective and ask yourself, OK, how do I react in this situation and then, what can I do with this to propel my own career?
Let’s take a look at several office talk scenarios and how you can handle them the next time they emerge at work.
You confide in a colleague and tell them you’re looking for a new job. OK, so you may have reached that breaking point, the point of no return, with that “if I have to tolerate any more of this, I’m seriously going to pull my hair out” look on your face. Sometimes it’s really difficult to hide. But, you need to muster up strength to mask it. Do not confide in your co-worker, regardless of how close you are. It’s not going to help you land a new job any faster and it may very well backfire, especially if you happen to get promoted or recognized for something you had no interest in pursuing anyway (yes, that’s possible).
[See: Relaxation Exercises for When You’re About to Lose It at Work.]
So, what happens if you’ve already confided in that person or simply cannot refrain? Limit information and emphasize it’s confidential. Then, create coping strategies that don’t involve that colleague. If your employer has an employee assistance program with a free counseling service, you can always call them on your cell phone to vent. Sometimes all you need is someone on the other end to listen. Above all, keep looking for that new job — it will decrease angst because you’ll know it’s only a matter of time before you’re out of there.
Your boss or colleague confides in you. I must admit, I was taken aback when my boss approached me. He was passed over for a promotion — I didn’t know it at the time — but the conversation made me think more closely about my answer. Here’s the thing: When people confide in you, unless they ask you a question, just listen. Take it in and tell them they can trust you to not share it with anyone else. You would expect and want the same in return.
But, then take a moment to ask yourself, OK, let’s say they want to leave the company. Maybe they’ve been there five years longer than you have and got passed up for a promotion. Remove yourself from the situation — go for a run, do yoga, meditate — and then look at the situation objectively. Ask yourself if you want to get to that point of frustration where you’re beyond upset with your employer or be proactive to look for a new job? At the time, I knew I was fooling myself with that answer: My top three reasons for staying were the ample personal time, an enjoyable commute and subsidized cafeteria. And I must say, if those are your top three as well, it’s time to look for a new job!
[See: 10 Reasons to Quit Your Job Already.]
Someone’s complaining. OK, so they may not confide in you telling you they’re vying to move on, but instead they’re moaning and grunting about their work. Who wants to hear that, right? Remain professional, but you may need to say to them, “We need to make the best of this situation. Turn that frown upside down!”
Again, take a step back. Is there a valid reason why they’re complaining? Maybe the department is overworked and your boss promised to hire two new people and as hard as the boss is trying to do so, they got pushback from leadership to freeze headcount. Whether or not it’s totally out of their hands, the point is you’re overworked. In any case, it’s important that the team morale doesn’t plummet, so try to stay positive and get your colleague back on track.
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How to Deal With Confidential Office Buzz originally appeared on usnews.com
