“Networking” is such a scary, negative term for so many people. Just the idea of it makes many cringe in fear. You might avoid anything with the word ” networking” associated with it. Alternatively, you may get your energy from events where you’re talking to people for hours and seek out such opportunities.
[See: Don’t Be That Guy (or Gal): 8 Networking Turn-Offs.]
Yet we’ve all been told that the majority of new jobs that people land come from a network or networking. That’s a lot of pressure if you are in the networking fear camp. But here’s a dirty little secret that you may not know: you have a network already.
Review your contacts. Step one is to take a few hours of time (block it off to hold yourself to it) and flip through all of your contacts. Pull out those you’ve met face-to-face, whether through friends, family (include family members too!), school, work, sports or your kids’ friends’ parents, etc. Bonus: You can update and refine your contacts at the same time for your holiday card list and address book. Take a look at all the places where you have contacts: your phone, email accounts, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram and your old Rolodex if you have one.
Set distant, yet priority contacts aside. When you do this exercise, there probably will be some people you come across who are not people you’ve met in person but people you’d like to meet or felt inspired by in some way. Don’t toss those out quite yet. Keep a separate list of these more distant contacts you’d like to be in touch with at some point and come back to them later with the same method outlined below.
[See: 10 Ways Social Media Can Help You Land a Job.]
Create your strategy. Now go through each name on the list of people you know personally one by one and take the time to think and make notes about how you know that person, what they currently do (if you are aware), and how they may be able to help you now or in the future. At the same time, consider how you could offer to help them. If you cannot answer this last question for any or all of your contacts, that’s perfectly fine. Just keep in mind that at some point you are going to want to offer your own assistance to them. It could be as simple as saying “Please let me know if I can be of help to you.”
Get back in touch. Once you have these notes, you’ll know who to reach out to first. These are the people who you are not sure about in terms of what they’re doing now or what’s going on in their lives. It’s time to reconnect. A phone call is best, but a text or email will also do the job. The key for getting in touch with these contacts is to bring them up to speed on what’s new with you and to ask the same of them, and it’s also a good time to catch up on the phone or in person. Even if you have no specific ask for that conversation, it’s okay. There is absolutely no replacement for personal connections and communications, and you must nurture these relationships.
[See: The 8 Stages of a Winning Job Search.]
Refine your message. Then there are those people who you’ve spoken to or kept up-to-date on more recently, so you are aware of what they’re up to. Really think about how those people on your list might be able to help. If it feels more comfortable than a phone call, draft an email to check in and ask how things are going. If you do have an ask of some kind, like for an introduction to someone in particular, or to offer suggestions for advancing in your career, don’t get into too much detail in writing. Request a brief chat and tell them generally what you want to discuss. Make sure you tell them how much you value their insights and advice, which is why you are turning to them. The most important thing is to be genuine, because if you feel like you aren’t being yourself, the message won’t resonate. Have someone else read your draft if you feel more comfortable doing that before sending it out. Tailor every message to each person you send it to; while this seems obvious, a lot of people copy and paste without thought.
We get so busy in our daily lives that we forget about the strength of our own personal networks. Your neighbor may know what you do but not offer to introduce you to someone he knows because he doesn’t make the connection in his mind on how what you do relates to what his friend does. Your network is there, you just have to know how to cultivate and use it. Only when you take a step back and think about each person and how they may be able to help will you begin to discover new opportunities. And maybe you’ll soon become part of the majority whose network helped them get a job.
More from U.S. News
8 Ways Millennials Can Build Leadership Skills
10 Things Your Mom Didn’t Teach You About Job Searching
The Dirty Little Secret About Networking originally appeared on usnews.com
