Money is the biggest cause of stress in a relationship, according to a survey conducted by Harris Poll and SunTrust Banks. The survey found that many of us can’t even agree on who is more responsible with the family finances. Survey participants were twice as likely to list themselves as “savers” and their partners as “spenders.” It’s no wonder couples fight about money.
Whether you’re the saver or the spender, it’s always a good idea to have the money talk, a frank discussion about your family’s current money situation. If one of you isn’t exactly frugal-minded, and you’re having a hard time meeting financial goals, it’s time to put yourselves on a budget.
[See: 12 Ways to Be a More Mindful Spender.]
1. Become accountability partners. When your partner just can’t turn down the latest deal or is counting down the days to payday, so they can splurge on yet another luxury purchase, it’s time for some accountability. Even though you may share bank accounts and aren’t splitting up your income evenly, you both need to have an understanding of your spending priorities. Become accountability partners for each other, reporting your purchases and keeping track of weekly spending for accuracy. Promise to report all purchases to each other — planned and unplanned — for the next 30 or 60 days to stay focused.
2. Work with a financial advisor. Working with a financial professional can help you both get a better handle on your finances and see the bigger picture when it comes to your income and expenses. Sometimes having a third party explain the situation in more detail and perform a formal analysis can send a clear message. If your spouse doesn’t pay attention to you when you start talking budgets or has shown no interest in reviewing financial documents with you, meeting with a financial advisor face-to-face can make the state of your bank account more real.
[See: 10 Money Leaks to Shut Down Now.]
3. Put your budget together, together. While many couples delegate financial management tasks to one person, the project doesn’t have to be a solo venture. Consider setting up a bimonthly or monthly date with your spouse to talk finances. You can map out exactly what your projected expenses are for the month and talk about any upcoming expenses or purchases you are considering in the next few weeks. Having an open discussion and agreeing to stay within a certain budget range is a solid first step toward financial stability. It will also prevent a complete shutdown from the other party when nagging about the latest purchase becomes a recurring event.
4. Prepare a list of financial goals. Your financial goals will dictate your financial priorities. Whether you have been dreaming about moving into your first home within the next year, want to go on vacation this winter or want to start a college fund for the kids, make sure those goals are written down somewhere and posted in a visible location.
[See: 10 Foolproof Ways to Reach Your Money Goals.]
Encourage your spouse to set some goals with you so that you can both agree on what is and isn’t important for you and the household within the next month, six months, year or longer. Keep this list open to change so you can add and modify goals to stay motivated. Your partner may be able to better honor the financial plan when they have signed off on goals you set together.
5. Work on compulsive or impulsive behaviors. If your spouse is a compulsive shopper or tends to buy on impulse, it will be difficult to stay on budget no matter how much income you have and how attractive your goals may be. These behaviors may have emotional roots. Encourage your spouse to seek counseling or find support to correct these unhealthy spending patterns so that you can preserve your family budget and steer clear of debt.
Putting your spouse on a budget may not be an easy task but there are some things you can do to make money discussions more productive. From mapping out a budget together to setting clear financial goals, working with your partner directly and communicating both problems and solutions can put you on the path to better financial health.
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5 Steps to Put Your Spouse on a Budget originally appeared on usnews.com
