I recently spent time with someone I know very well. We were talking about nutrition and fitness and why she hasn’t been successful at removing weight — one of her lifelong goals. For as long as I can recall, our conversations have always circled back to this topic. This time, she talked about feeling defeated. “I think my metabolism is just shot,” she said. “I’ve tried everything — even some crazy things. And nothing has worked.”
[See: 7 Diet Mistakes Sabotaging Your Weight Loss.]
Of course not, I thought. If she keeps looking for answers in all the wrong places — in “miracle” products and gimmicks — she will never find success, I thought. In retrospect, this is what I wish I had told her: The answer she and many others are looking for will never be found in a weight-loss shake, pill, “detox” tea or coffee with butter. She can hope, search, spend and try all she wants. She’ll just keep coming up short because the answer isn’t out there — it’s inside her. She is the only person powerful enough to make the changes she needs to make.
And yet, she just doesn’t own it. Doesn’t feel it. Maybe doesn’t even see it. Despite years of tying her hopes to external ineffective products and quick fixes, she has internalized the failure. Now, she’s left to believe there’s no more hope or possibility for success.
That’s a jagged pill to swallow.
Any time you want to make a change, you have to first recognize and believe you have the power to make it happen. Change — any change — starts in one place: Belief that change is possible. But how do you believe something is possible when you have “evidence” suggesting it’s not? Try these four strategies:
1. Form an image of success.
Take 20 minutes in a quiet place and visualize all the steps necessary for success. Want to take off weight? Spend that time seeing yourself make different choices. Picture yourself going to the gym or the park even when you’re tired. Imagine yourself saying no to dessert, or making the commitment to wake up earlier and exercise. Next, picture the outcome. What does this version of you look like? Feel like? What does she or he say, do, have? Form a clear picture of you having made that change a reality.
2. Play the movie in your mind.
Using the images you just created, play your movie of success in your head every morning. Determine the activities, feelings or people that will pose challenges. If your goal is to improve your relationship with your spouse, ask yourself what will create tension and conflict. Can it be avoided? How can it be discussed? Spend time thinking about how you will handle difficult situations. That way, when they arise, you’ve already been through a dress rehearsal in your mind.
3. Know consistency in effort leads to success.
Many people believe they have to make big changes to see progress, but they aren’t able to sustain those changes over time. Focus on consistency instead. Each day, do something related to your goal, even when it feels like it can’t make a difference — perhaps especially when it feels like it won’t make a difference. For example, if you don’t have time for your normal workout, do a shorter one or take several flights of stairs at the office. It might not feel worthwhile, but the reminder of your commitment to yourself and your goals can make all the difference in the long run.
[See: Easy Ways to Get 10,000 Steps a Day.]
4. Be seen in your intention.
Tell someone else what you plan on doing. Share your goals, but also what will be challenging. Use this person as a source of support. Ask him or her to remind you of your goals when you are tempted to give up and return to old habits. Be clear about what you need from them. Is it verbal encouragement or just a check-in to see how you are doing? Having someone else on your team makes all the difference and can help you see what is possible when you can’t.
5. Forget plan B.
The only reason we need a plan B is because we don’t believe plan A will work. If you are always hedging your bets and thinking “if,” then you will never be successful. You’ve got to go all in. Believe.
[See: How to Break 7 Unhealthy Habits.]
Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. You have the power to make change happen.
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Ready to Make a Healthy Change? Start Here originally appeared on usnews.com
