Oscar Rewrite: 2014


Best Picture: Birdman   Boyhood

Richard Linklater’s 12-year, coming-of-age experiment is a slice-of-life time capsule for the ages.

Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Birdman)

This Broadway vs. Hollywood masterpiece creates the illusion of one single-take the entire movie.

Best Actor: Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything)   David Oyelowo (Selma)

Selma‘s script may have botched LBJ’s portrayal, but director Ava DuVernay was snubbed in what should have been the first ever Best Director nomination for a black female director. Either way, DuVernay coached a brilliant performance by David Oyelowo, who made MLK beautifully human.

Best Actress: Julianne Moore (Still Alice) Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl)

Julianne Moore was great in Still Alice, but seeing as we’ve already corrected her Oscar snub in 1999, our award goes to the unforgettable Pike, the creepiest since Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

Best Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons (Whiplash)

The dad from Juno delivered the most intimidating instructor since R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket.

Best Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette (Boyhood)  Jessica Chastain (A Most Violent Year, Interstellar, Eleanor Rigby)

Awards should honor a year’s worth of performances, making Chastain a must for this powerful trio.

Best Original Screenplay: Birdman (Alejandro G. Inarritu)  Nightcrawler (Dan Gilroy)

Dan Gilroy should have won for this insanely original take on “if it bleeds, it leads” TV news

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Imitation Game (Graham Moore from Andrew Hodges’ book)

Who knew this complex personal tale lied behind the first computer — and the downfall of Hitler?


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