Kathleen Hall, contributor
WASHINGTON — It kills us to be lonely.
Not having good friends is about as
harmful to your health as being obese or smoking 15 cigarettes a day,
according to research from Brigham Young University. Another study showed
that people with at least three close buddies at work were 96 percent more likely
to be “extremely satisfied” with their life.
Great health benefits
Research shows you can experience less stress and depression, boost your immune
system, reduce your risk for cardiovascular disease, improve cognition, live
longer and lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.
Friends vs. family relationships
Close relationships with children and relatives, however, have almost no effect
on longevity. says Lynne C. Giles, a researcher who conducted one of these studies
says. She said family connections are important, but have little effect on
survival.
Loneliness epidemic
We are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. In recent years, the number of
people who have friends they can talk to about important issues has dropped by
about a third. Researchers believe that our tremendous use of technology, along
with large workloads, may influence the decline of friends and close
relationships.
Tips on making new friends
Old friends are like an anchor on your boat in life. They are lifesavers,
holders of our deepest secrets and loyal to the grave. They are one of life’s
greatest blessings.
But new friends bring a fresh outlook to our lives. They bring a new perspective
to all aspects of our life. New friends have “new eyes” into our lives. They
can bring in new energy, new possibilities and new adventures.
Here are a few ways to make friends:
1. Join up
Join organizations or take classes in areas of interest to you. Try a class
in yoga, tai chi or meditation classes. Volunteer with an organization you
have passion for, such as one that helps animals, children, the environment or
a hospital. This gives you an opportunity to meet like-minded people who could be
good
friends and share in your passions.
2. Work
Work is a great
place to meet new friends. Go for a meal with a
coworker, go to an event after work or a business meeting.
3. Your pit stops
Become aware of the people you meet daily at Starbucks, your grocery store or
favorite shop. You must like some people at these places, or you wouldn’t keep
going
back.
Is there someone you would like to invite to lunch or coffee to get to know
them better?
4. One step at a time
It is normal to feel a little anxious about becoming vulnerable and risking
rejection when you begin to make new friends. Take each step slowly and get a good
foundation and you will feel more secure. Some friendships will be shallow, and
others may develop into long-term, deep
friendships.
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