New York (CNN) — Millennials and GenZers are redefining lifestyle trends – from the way we dress, live, work and socialize to how we celebrate life moments. That includes weddings.
Formalities like big wedding parties with bridesmaids and groomsmen divided by gender, people getting married in churches, even practices that seemed like new “traditions” just a few years ago, such as wedding hashtags, are no longer must-haves.
As the oldest GenZers reach marrying age in their mid-20s, they’re increasingly putting their own spin on nuptials, which includes letting go of some antiquated traditions.
The Knot, a top wedding planning and wedding vendor marketplace, surveyed more than 9,000 couples in the US who either took the plunge last year, or are planning to in 2024, to understand evolving approaches that couples are taking to wedding planning.
“One of the big things that is happening now after 2022, which was a very busy year for weddings after the biggest pause button ever pressed for the industry in 2020 and 2021, is that we’re seeing the earliest cohorts of Gen Z start to get married,” said Tim Chi, CEO of The Knot Worldwide, in an interview with CNN to discuss findings from The Knot’s most recent Annual Real Weddings Study.
Already, a few trends in 2023 suggest young couples are more at ease with breaking from convention.
Among wedding trends last year that declined in popularity compared to the pre-pandemic period were dividing wedding party members by gender (down 7% from 2018), matching wedding party attire (down 20% from 2018), ceremonies held in traditional religious institutions (down 5% from 2018) and using wedding hashtags (down 30% from 2018), according to The Knot’s report.
But weddings are also still subject to the ephemeral whims of pop culture.
When it came to the all-important first-song dance, Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect” had reigned on top spot for the past several years. But last year, Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling In Love” dethroned “Perfect.”
“Remember all those movies came out about Elvis’ life in the last year or so, and so this is an example of just how current pop culture events really do influence how people are incorporating modern or contemporary references into their wedding,” Chi said.
More couples last year also embraced paperless communication for their wedding, including save-the-date and invitation QR codes to capture RSVPs and/or view wedding websites (up 18% from 2022) as Gen Z couples show a more pronounced reliance on technology during the wedding planning process.
And sorry kids. Kid-free receptions were more popular in 2023 (up 8% from 2018).
In terms of the total cost of the wedding, couples said they spent an average of $35,000 on their ceremony and reception in 2023, up from an average of $30,000 the prior year, according to The Knot. At the same time, about half of couples surveyed said they have made adjustments to their wedding due to rising costs (such as simplifying the decor and eliminating gifts and favors).
The average guest count was 115 people, also on par with 2022.
“Millennials and Gen Z are getting very creative in making these celebrations their own in new and interesting ways,” Chi said. “People are redefining tradition and that’s really cool.”
Going D-I-Y
Caitlin and Dylan Spain, both in their mid-20s, got married last May in a church in Sea Isle City, New Jersey and at a historic two centuries-old seaside resort with a vintage Victorian vibe to it.
“We wanted a place that was unique and special to us, which was Cape May,” Caitlin said. “Dylan grew up going down there for the summer and my family had a shore house dating back generations in Sea Isle City, 20 to 25 minutes away from Cape May.”
Dylan said they didn’t want their wedding to be trendy but timeless.
“Congress Hall in Cape May was built in the 1700s. We knew people who had done the barnyard wedding and felt that might have been a fad,” said Dylan. “We wanted to stay timeless and offer a tribute to our roots.”
The couple kept the decorations and flowers simple and let the venue be the talking point.
“There were a lot of moments where we could have made things more complicated, added activities or costs,” said Caitlin, who declined to disclose the total costs of the wedding. “But at the end of the day, we wanted the focus to be a beautiful wedding and starting this new chapter of our lives.”
The couple had 135 guests, with a preference for no kids and they did break away from some expected wedding elements.
“There’s a lot of excitement and buildup from the bridal party entering until you reach this climactic moment of the bride and groom entering. After that, a lot of times you lose that momentum and break out into speeches,” he said.
Instead, the couple had all of their guests join in on their entrance with a dance party.
As they planned their wedding budget, Dylan said the venue was the largest expense. “When we looked at flower costs, those had risen so much because of inflation that we utilized post-Easter flowers for the Church. They happened to be there, which was a benefit,” he said. Candles instead of flowers on the tables added elegance and also helped control costs, Dylan said.
Caitlin didn’t use a wedding planner, either. “We embraced the do-it-yourself mentality of our generation,” Dylan said. That included a “remembrance table” for people close to them who had passed away.
“I was working full-time, so it became like a part-time job, but I’m very organized,” Caitlin said. “Once i had a vision of the timeless look and got inspiration from Pinterest, the rest was reminding myself not to do too much.”
An act of love and resistance
When Edwin Torres-DeSantiago and Ricardo DeSantiago-Torres, who got married last August, were wedding planning, they envisioned a simple, classy and meaningful affair.
“Obviously we are both men, so what is traditional, then in this space?” asked Edwin. “We wanted to make our own traditions with our own families.”
That meant finding ways to blend both of their cultures.
“I’m from Central America and Ricardo’s family is half-white, half-Mexican. So how do we do that knowing that this will be a non-traditional wedding?” he said. “And we are both also politically involved.”
The couple, in their 30s, were married by a former Minnesota senate minority leader and were given a blessing by the lieutenant governor of Minnesota, Edwin said. “We knew our marriage was very much an act of love but also an act of resistance in a polarizing world.”
For their venue, they picked the ruins of a former manufacturing company that was based in Minnesota for over 150 years. The Mill City Museum in Minneapolis (a National Historic Landmark) was a former flour mill.
“The ruins on the outside and the modern restoration on the inside really spoke to us, the contrast of old and new,” he said.
With a budget of just over $30,000 and a guest count of 110, they carefully selected vendors who could stay within it. “We had 11 vendors and we wanted to be very conscious about where the money was going,” Edwin said.
Every vendor, they said, was either BIPOC, women or queer. “Every little detail was designed to bring this union with a sense of purpose,” he said.
In terms of letting go of traditions, Edwin said their vows showed just as much. “We ended our vows with a quote from Harry Potter out of all things,” he said.
“Very millennial,” chimed Ricardo.
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