WASHINGTON — Happy New Year!
Oops. Too loud. Sorry. Here’s some Advil.
That four-star hangover you’re wearing is a good metaphor for January. You had all those Christmas stouts, food piles and shopping sprees in December. And now, reality serves you a cold plate of consequences.
Despite how dreadful it tastes, January still has something to offer. …
- Televised parades!
- Top-shelf bowl games!
- And oh my goodness: an armed Taraji P. Henson!
Still glum? Got four words that will cheer you up: National Bath Safety Month. Here are three more: National Oatmeal Month. And another three: National Soup Month.
And we’re just getting started. That first page of your 2018 calendar has several dates of prominence, irrelevance and everything in between. Sample January’s unusual holidays in the gallery below.
Offbeat January holidays
Jan. 3 Festival of Sleep Day As this falls on a Wednesday, it’s obvious the scheduler is between jobs. Oh well. Just sleep in this morning, then get back to bed early in the evening. Related comment: Adult footie pajamas are a thing again. Why is that? (Thinkstock)
Jan. 5 Bird Day According to the people who declare these sorts of things, it’s “a day to think about birds in captivity and to take action to ensure that birds are not exploited and are treated humanely.” While you’re at it, appreciate cool-as-heck birds like this kiwi above. (AP Photo/Rick Rycroft, File)
Jan. 6 Bean Day After all, beans earned this honor: They’re rich in protein, fiber and vitamins. Celebrate with your favorite recipe, or pick up some of that hummus you keep devouring. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/panda3800)
Jan. 7 Old Rock Day They’re not just for throwing, you know. Old rocks provide a glimpse into the earth’s early years. Celebrate by reading more about fossils and archaeology. (Shannon McPherron/Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology via AP)
Jan. 9 Word Nerd Day Celebrate with a few chapters or a crossword puzzle — or perhaps check out the latest news on WTOP.com! (Getty Images/iStockphoto/Fly_dragonfly)
Jan. 14 Organize Your Home Day You’re probably stuck indoors anyway due to the winter weather. Make the most of it: Tidy up those close confines and make them more pleasant. (Getty Images/moodboard RF/Mike Watson Images)
Jan. 15 Strawberry Ice Cream Day Dolley Madison is credited with putting strawberries into ice cream in the early 19th century. Please note that she also might be the only person to attempt oyster ice cream, so limit your applause. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/bakerjim)
Jan. 16 Nothing Day Invented by a newspaper columnist in the early ’70s, this day is meant to be an “un-event.” In other words, don’t change your plans for the day. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re good. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/AlexeyVS)
Jan. 17 Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day If you made it this far with your resolution(s), that’s pretty darn impressive. Why would you want to quit now? No judgment here. Just saying. (commons.wikipedia.com)
Jan. 18 Thesaurus Day Today, we celebrate the birth of one Peter Mark Roget, who invented that good book that keeps our “vocab” so expansive, so broad, so comprehensive. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/kateshephard1)
Jan. 20 Penguin Awareness Day You’ve heard of penguins, right? OK. Carry on. (Corbis)
Jan. 21 Squirrel Appreciation Day What’s the best way to appreciate a squirrel? Leave out some sweet potato or corn (and keep that dog on a short leash). (iStock/Thinkstock)
Jan. 22
Hot Sauce Day
Hot sauces ranked:
1. Fresh bottle of Frank’s RedHot
2. Older bottle of Frank’s RedHot
3. Frank’s RedHot bottle that’s been in the fridge since ’06
4. Sriacha
5. Tabasco
(Getty Images/iStockphoto/BWFolsom)
Jan. 24 Compliment Day It’s always a great day to be nice. And on this day, be extra nice! Be generous with your compliments … [*checks thesaurus*] … your praise, your flattery, your kudos, your props etc. (Getty Images/moodboard RF/Mike Watson Images)
Jan. 24 Macintosh Computer Day On this day in 1984, Apple introduced its first Macintosh computer to the public. Its user-friendly features raised the bar for home computing and helped usher in a new age of powerful and elegant (but pricey) technology. Celebrate by writing something nice about Steve Jobs on your $200 Chromebook. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)
Jan. 26 Spouse’s Day Let that special someone know you love him/her with a gift or a kind gesture — such as finally taking the trash out, for crying out loud. (Getty Images/Image Source/Image Source Pink)
Jan. 30 Croissant Day Buttery, flaky and scrumptious are the themes today. You know the drill: Start by getting yourself into a homemade Croissan’wich situation for breakfast. Then for lunch, dinner and snacks, go to town and go again. Throw some butter on that mess, throw it in the microwave, give it a name, then shove it in your face. (Getty Images/iStockphoto/ziche77)
