WASHINGTON — Another Christmas means another gathering with the family, and while that means reconnecting and spending quality time, it can also mean drama and dysfunction.
How does one avoid all that drama? It comes down to awareness, psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig told WTOP’s Shawn Anderson and Hillary Howard.
Be mindful of who’s going to be there, for starters.
“Knowing in advance who you’re dealing with — the personalities — can really help you strategize in a way that can make the day go by in a much more pleasant way,” Ludwig said.
And have reasonable expectations. Reality, of course, is nothing like a holiday movie on the Hallmark Channel.
“You have to be aware that things can go awry,” Ludwig said.
“When we fall into this notion that it’s going to be a romanticized version like we see in the movies, we’ll be tremendously disappointed.”
She also suggests being aware of your own personality. Know how you’re likely to react to negativity, and have a strategy: perhaps limit your exposure time or have a plan to exit when things get particularly intense.
And remember that folks have a tendency to revert to their younger selves when they get together. “Our family sees us in the same way as when we were kids,” Ludwig said.
“I read somewhere that people have issues with their families when they return to visit them because those are the people who caused it in the first place.”
When faced with negativity, she said, don’t take it personally.
“If you are to consider that negative things that are said may be coming really from a person not being in a good place, not being happy, being judgmental — this is the way they tend to see the world then you don’t own the negativity as much,” she said.
And as if you needed a reminder: When tempted to talk about politics, “don’t do it.”
