WASHINGTON – Today’s groom has a lot to say to say about his wedding — and strong-minded brides are not so happy about it.
According to a David’s Bridal survey, “What is on Brides’ Minds,” 83 percent of grooms are actively involved in the planning of their wedding. And that is turning some modern grooms into groomzillas.
“With every couple, statistically, there is a ‘zilla,'” says Tracy Bloom Schwartz, wedding planner and owner of Creative Parties in Bethesda. “You can’t control them and you have to figure out what they need.”
Traditionally, brides controlled most of the wedding decisions, since the expense of the day usually comes from the bride’s family. But with more couples paying for the wedding, an increasing number of brides and grooms are working together and are sharing the planning responsibilities.
So what hits the hot button for most grooms? According to the survey, the guest list, the music selection and the honeymoon plans are some of the “non- negotiables.”
Handing over the reins of the wedding planning is hard for many future brides. Eighteen percent of surveyed brides say they don’t trust grooms to make any decisions without their input and 41 percent of those surveyed say they don’t even trust their grooms to pick out their tuxes.
The struggle over wedding planning power puts a lot of pressure on a new, happy marriage, so Schwartz encourages couples to work together.
“If you’re choosing to have a calm, mutually workable, supportive relationship, you sort of have to work through whose priorities are most important — where can you bend, where can you give, where can you share,” she says.