WASHINGTON — It’s the final weekend before Valentine’s Day, which means another Hollywood helping of flowers, chocolates and, you know, bondage.
That’s right, it’s not just Valentine’s Day, it’s Valentine’s Grey! Hide your kids; indulge your wife.
This bizarre new holiday tradition began in 2015, when E.L. James’ best-selling romance novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” became a critically panned but profitable flick, made for just $40 million yet grossing $166 million domestically and $571 million worldwide. Yes, more people saw it than “Brooklyn,” “Spotlight,” “Room” and “Mad Max: Fury Road,” which says a lot about the state of our culture.
Now, we get the sequel “Fifty Shades Darker,” and, dare we say, there’s more of a plot this time?
You’ll remember the first time around, college bookworm Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) took a job interview in a Seattle skyscraper with billionaire playboy Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), who quickly seduced her into a whole new world of S&M sex in his “Red Room of Pain.” Sadly, he took things too far and got way too possessive, causing Anastasia to flee from his twisted apartment.
Now, we pick right up where the story left off for “Fifty Shades Darker,” which faithfully follows the second book in James’ trashy trilogy. Anastasia has since landed her dream job at a publishing company, but Christian claims he can’t live without her. So, he promises to drop his sexual fetishes completely and have a normal, “vanilla” relationship. Anastasia jumps at the chance, but Christian’s sordid past haunts him as we learn more about his abusive childhood and perverted past lovers.
It’s easy to throw shade at “Shades.” The film is filled with “chick flick” cliches and the sex-to-plot ratio of soft-core porn. Still, I fear too many critics had their one-star reviews pre-written, a chance to slam low-hanging fruit after months of four-star award winners. In truth, “Fifty Shades Darker” isn’t a good movie, but it also isn’t terrible, perhaps even better than the first with more storyline to chew.
Granted, that’s a low bar in the business of managing expectations. After months of sensual hype from the best-selling book, the first film adaptation was disappointing in its timidity. We got juicy cinematic foreplay in Act One, redundant trips to the sex room in Act Two and an anti-climatic finish in Act Three. By the end, moviegoers who hadn’t read the book shouted at the screen, “That’s it?”
In the sequel, it’s all “tied up” much more satisfyingly. Earning its “R” rating by shopping at “Sex Toys R Us,” the nude scenes are definitely more graphic this time, but they arrive less frequently, making the viewing experience feel less repetitive. This allows more time to explore the more interesting aspects of the characters’ inner workings, as we try to figure out why these flawed folks act the way they do.
From the very start, we get flashbacks to Christian’s childhood that show his lost innocence from forces beyond his control (i.e. Don Draper in “Mad Men”). We also see his own choices catch up with him as jealous ex-lover Leila (Bella Heathcote) stalks and vandalizes the couple, while the source of his kinkiness, Elena “Mrs. Robinson” Lincoln (Kim Basinger), warns Anastasia about falling for him.
While these darker, thriller elements keep us on edge as cheaper versions of “Body Heat” (1981), “Fatal Attraction” (1987) and “Gone Girl” (2014), the script too often gets distracted by other lazy plot devices. The unwanted advances of Anastasia’s boss Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson) are so predictable that they undercut a potentially timely statement on sexual harassment in the workplace, while other major events, such as a pivotal helicopter scene, arrive randomly and are resolved much too quickly.
Perhaps most jarring are several relationship turns that feel unrealistic. After her tortured abuse at the end of the previous film, Anastasia accepts Christian back too easily when he shows up out of the blue to say, “I’d like to renegotiate terms.” Soon, they reunite by marking boundaries with silly lipstick on his chest. Later, she’s not offended nearly enough when she discovers he kept secret dossiers on his past lovers. Finally, when a scorned ex turns violent, his ridiculous response is quickly forgiven.
There’s a fine line between Cupid and stupid — and this series flirts with the grey area.
Novice viewers will overlook these things in favor of the eye candy, steaming up the screen with Johnson’s sumptuous curves and Dornan’s rock-hard abs. So far, Johnson appears the more talented of the two after “Black Mass” (2015), “A Bigger Splash” (2016) and a controversial “SNL” sketch, while Dornan is too often dormant. We get that he’s supposed to be mysterious, but it’d be nice to see a little more life from him. The more he broods, the more we welcome the energy of Elois Mumford as ex-roommate Kate, Rita Ora as spunky sister Mia and Marcia Gay Harden as adoptive mother Grace.
Either way, their romantic chemistry isn’t done any favors by the cheesy dialogue, including, “I don’t know whether to worship at your feet or spank you,” “I’ve had enough of your kinky f**kery” and “You’re not sticking that in my …” I’d like to think this is a cheeky attempt at humor by screenwriter Niall Leonard (E.L. James’ husband), but it’s more likely the dust of a first-time feature screenplay after British TV work on “Give My Head Peace” (1998-2007) and “Wild at Heart” (2006-present).
As was the case last time, the director does everything possible to elevate a lackluster script from shaky source material. In the original “Fifty Shades,” director Sam Taylor-Johnson used raindrop shadows to create teardrops in homage to Richard Brooks’ “In Cold Blood” (1967). This time, James Foley (“Glengary Glenn Ross”) shows the symbolic flames of a fireplace in the background, working with a group of Oscar-nominated craftsmen in cinematographer John Schwartzman (“Seabiscuit”), editor Richard Francis-Bruce (“Se7en”) and music composer Danny Elfman (“Edward Scissorhands”).
Speaking of music, the best thing about the first film was its soundtrack, mixing classic tunes such as Frank Sinatra’s “Witchcraft” and The Rolling Stones’ “Beast of Burden,” dark remixes of pop hits such as Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love,” and future smash hits such as Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” and The Weeknd’s “Earned It,” the latter of which earned an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song.
This time, the soundtrack isn’t nearly as memorable. Zayn and Taylor Swift provide the best track with “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” in a compilation that includes Sia’s “Helium,” Corinne Bailey Rae’s “The Scientist,” Nick Jonas & Nicki Minaj’s “Bom Bidi Bom” and John Legend’s “One Woman Man.”
Certainly, Legend’s work on “Fifty Shades Darker” won’t win any Oscars like “La La Land” (2016), even if the upcoming final installment “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018) sounds like a naughty Arthur Freed musical. All joking aside, this erotic-thriller isn’t aiming for those heights. This is a February release that sets out to be a trashy good time and to a certain extent, it meets that blockbuster expectation.
There’s something to be said for the communal crowd experience as we blush together at the same awkward moments, laugh together at the same awesomely-bad dialogue, even gasp together at the same surprising thrills. It might be an embarrassing “first date,” but it could be a fun date night with your experienced significant other, or better yet, a group outing with the ladies for “Galentine’s Day.”
Just don’t take it too seriously, because the film itself does plenty of that for us.
Author’s Note: This is my way of saying it’s not my cup of tea, but my girlfriend enjoyed it, so you might, too.
