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Mike's Take: An honest way to make a living?

Tuesday - 12/13/2011, 10:05pm  ET

Mike Causey, special to wtop.com

WASHINGTON - So who's ahead in the lying game? Men or women?

A friend once observed that half the married men in the Washington area are (or say they are) secret agents. Which would explain broken dates, short and long absences (Honey, I was on the ground in Iran or Cuba but I can't talk about it) or bite marks on the torso.

I don't have solid numbers to back this up, but my guess would be that guys are more likely to tell tall tales to women than women tell to men. And I would go further and say the lies-designed-to-dazzle are useless because the things men think are sex-lures are not.

To flesh this out, I interviewed half a dozen women and a couple of men to see what lines they had heard or what lines they had used that -- when they later thought about it -- were really pretty stupid. As well as being untrue.

For example, one worker said at the start of the courtship, her future husband told her he was an excellent dancer and his specialty was the Salsa. It just so happens, dancing was one of her favorite things to do, and the Salsa was her favorite. To make a long story short, the only Salsa he did came in a bowl in a Mexican restaurant.

Some of the women said they had been told the guy had played quarterback either in college or as a pro, even though when confronted with a real football, they threw it underhand. Besides, the women said, that doesn't really impress them even if it is true.

In the D.C. area, your job does matter.

A lot.

So a guy who says he is a key policy advisor to a famous senator may, in fact, work in a sandwich shop on Capitol Hill.

One lady, a real music lover, said it is a "turn on" when the guy says he plays in a band or was once a professional. The letdown comes when he whips out a harmonica, or confuses a sax with a tuba.

Then there is the man who claims he has a $250,000 custom-made sports car. Yet he shows up date after date in a Chevy Cobalt with crushed Triscuits on the floor. It's probably a loaner from the dealer while his other ride is being detailed -- in Switzerland. Sometimes the loaner car has an infant seat in the back. This usually triggers alarm bells.

A friend who is big into computer dating says in his experience, women fib about their weight and age ... as in 40+ equals age 77. Men, he says, will post a picture of themselves that is 20 years out-of-date. He hangs out at a "first date" Starbucks in Alexandria, and he said he has seen more than one surprised/disappointed couple meet. In one case, he said they attempted to hug, but the former Olympic athlete couldn't get his skinny arms around an alleged size 6.

I would love to pursue this and get more data, but I've been called to the White House. I may be away for some time. Please don't ask the nature of my mission. I'd have to lie to you for reasons of national security.


Mike has spent the majority of his life inside the Beltway and has an interesting and humorous perspective that he will share every Wednesday. Mike has spent his career covering the federal government for the Washington Post and now for Federal News Radio.

Mike also writes a daily column for Federal News Radio
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