I have a keynote speech I give to groups that I presumptuously call “The Meaning of Life.” It contains eight life lessons that we actually all know but don’t always practice. Every lesson features a personal story, a song and actual research that backs up the claim. The eye-opener is that every story comes from an older person I’ve encountered in my many thousands of singing performances in nursing homes. Yes, the people that we often think of as being in the worst possible places can teach us a lot about life.
One of these eight points has consistently stood out from the very first day I walked into a care home: gratitude. Yes, gratitude. You would think that seniors in nursing homes, faced with medical ailments, loneliness and more would be miserable and angry. Some are. Most are not. During a season of Thanksgiving, what better topic to tackle than gratitude?
[See: 8 Ways to Ease Holiday Isolation for Older Adults.]
Setting the Stage
According to the World Health Organization, the U.S. is one of the most depressed countries in the world, ranking third for depressive disorders, just after China and India. Now, to be clear, there’s a mental health crisis in this country. Yet Bangladesh, where there’s a daily struggle to survive, ranks ninth. Recent data from the National Center for Health statistics shows that 12.7% of the U.S. population over age 12 took an antidepressant medication in any given month, and there has been a 64% increase in the percentage of people using antidepressants between 1999 and 2014.
Yet, some experts suggest that we engage in existentialist despair, obsessing about all the wrong things in life and asking unanswerable questions like “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” It can lead to an obsession and preoccupation with our own desires, fears and worries to the point of self-absorption. That is self-indulgent.
The short of it is that maybe we’re worried about things we have no control over or shouldn’t be concerned about, and don’t appreciate the here and now of our life’s purpose and the responsibilities of each day, no matter how mundane.
And that’s why gratefulness is so prevalent in the seniors I encounter. They have come to peace with their life, and the very fact of just being alive gives them pause to be grateful every single day. Most family caregivers come to realize the opportunity they have of caring for a loved one. Sometimes it takes a while to move from burden to opportunity, but most do, and they remember the time fondly and with gratitude when the caregiving journey is over.
[See: 5 Hacks to Make Overeating on Thanksgiving Almost Impossible.]
The Science Speaks
Research suggests that gratitude is associated with better physical and psychological health, increased happiness and life satisfaction and decreased materialism, and some studies suggest that more grateful people may be healthier and adopt healthier habits. Other studies suggest that gratitude may be “the mother of all virtues” by encouraging the development of other virtues such as patience, humility and wisdom. Grateful people experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better and even have stronger immune systems. Research further suggests that gratitude inspires people to be more generous, kind and helpful, strengthens relationship, and may improve the climate in workplaces.
Practicing Gratitude
As Ferris Bueller famously said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” So, start there.
Here are ways to practice gratitude:
— Be in the moment of your day and really experience it.
— When I go to bed each night, I recall three things that I am grateful for from that day. I picture them in my mind and feel the gratitude in my body. It’s my form of meditation. Use what feels right for you.
— When I give that “Meaning of Life” speech, I have people turn to others and express gratitude for those people being in their lives that day. Wherever you may be reading this, try it.
— Some people keep gratitude journals. Other choose to be grateful by paying it forward by doing something unexpected for someone.
— For many, having more gratitude means giving back to others. I serve on a charity clinic. I guarantee you I am more grateful for the things I take for granted after witnessing the situations of the people we help. The volunteering itself helps improve my own well-being and increases my gratitude.
— Thank people for their service.
— Be thankful to yourself instead of criticizing yourself.
— Be more noticeable of the things around you if you’re out walking, riding, biking, jogging. That will make you more grateful. I do it when I walk my neighborhood and think about how I got to where I am from my humble roots living in a row home in Philly.
— Write down your accomplishments and marvel at what you have done. Be grateful. Pat yourself on the back.
The list is endless.
[See: 7 Healthy Ways to Gobble Leftover Thanksgiving Turkey.]
Gratitude During the Holidays
The holidays are particularly hard for family caregivers and isolated elders. Show your gratitude.
— Share a meal with someone. Invite a family caregiver and their loved one over or prepare a meal for them and take it to them.
— Time is the most important gift you can give to an isolated elder in your community. Pay them a visit. Maybe take them shopping. Or do their shopping for them.
— Sit with an older person and help document their life story.
— Instead of holiday cards, write a personal letter of thanks to those you are grateful for and send them through the postal mail. It still exits!
— Choose to donate to a charity that you are grateful for having in the community and do it in honor of someone you know who it is helping.
— Yes, you can buy gifts but if you do put thought into it and make it personal. Create a special photo album for someone of your times together. Connect to their hobbies and interests.
In the book “Living in Gratitude: A Journey That Will Change Your Life,” Angeles Arrien says: “When people in great numbers choose to practice, integrate and embody gratitude, the cumulative force that is generated can help create the kind of world we all hope for and desire for ourselves and for future generations.”
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8 Ways to Ease Holiday Isolation for Older Adults
Practicing Gratitude During the Holidays originally appeared on usnews.com
