WASHINGTON — It’s 2017. Do you know what’s on your kids’ smartphones?
You’ve heard of Snapchat and Instagram. But what about Yellow, which has been dubbed “Tinder for Teens,” or Sarahah, in which users anonymously submit comments about other users and has been criticized for contributing to teen cyberbullying.
“It is really hard to keep on top of them,” said Leslie Morgan Steiner, a parenting blogger with ModernMom.com, of the plethora of social media apps targeted to teens.
And while over summer, many kids may have gotten a bit of a break from social media, “now that they’re back in school, it’s a full-on onslaught,” she said.
Parents need to recognize both the harms and benefits of social media use.
“Data shows that social media usage — excessive usage — can really damage kids’ self-esteem and affect their attention spans,” Steiner said. “You know, constantly looking at Instagram and Snapchat. But also it’s an invaluable connection to information and to their friends, so it’s very, very tricky for parents.”
Since most parents are paying the monthly bills for teens’ smartphones, the first impulse may be to ban certain apps or control the times your kids are able to use their smartphones. There are several automated programs — such as PhoneSheriff or Pumpic — that allow parents to easily police how teens and tweens are using their smartphones.
But perhaps start with a conversation first to build mutual trust between you and your child, Steiner said.
“Instead of policing kids’ social media — and there are very good ways to do that actually — we’ve got to teach our kids to protect themselves from social media,” she said.
Mutual trust will serve parents better in the long run, Steiner said.
“But it’s very, very tricky and some of these sites are really quite scary,” she added.
If there are older siblings, enlist them in a broader family discussion about social media use.
“In my experience, eighth grade is the nadir of irresponsible social media use,” Steiner said. “And if you can get your kids not to use some of these sites until after that, they have much better judgment.”
Still, if it comes down to it, you may need to impose some strict rules. You could set time limits for how long your kids are allowed to access their smartphones or outright ban certain sites and apps.
“I think it’s important to be really open with your kids … It’s not that you want to be the new sheriff in town. It’s that you want to help them learn to take care of themselves, and it’s a pretty crazy world out there sometimes.”
