What Not to Say When Someone Loses Weight — Especially Now

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Weight loss is back — not just on bodies, but on everyone’s lips. A topic once tiptoed around in fear of fueling diet culture or body shaming is suddenly front and center again.

Conversations about shrinking waistlines are everywhere. And they’re not always handled with care. Maybe it’s your co-worker who suddenly skips the donuts in the break room. Or your cousin who shows up to brunch looking like a different person. Or your friend who casually mentions being on Ozempic between sips of coffee. Or someone might never bring it up at all, but then they just appear slimmer, a little different. And everyone notices, but no one quite knows what to say.

Thanks to the surge in popularity of GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, Wegovy and Mounjaro, more people are losing weight, sometimes quickly and visibly. However, not everyone is willing to discuss how they got there, and honestly, it’s not your job to figure it out. Whether the result of medication, mindful eating, stress or something else entirely, one thing is clear: When someone’s body changes, the people around them often begin to behave differently.

And here’s the tricky part: Sometimes the worst thing you can do is say the wrong thing. But saying nothing at all might feel dismissive or awkward, especially if the person hoped you’d notice their hard work or transformation. That’s why what you say — and how you say it — truly matters. So before you blurt out a comment, even one you think is complimentary, lead with empathy, not assumption. Words carry weight. Let yours be thoughtful.

Here are 12 things to never say to someone who has lost weight, along with suggestions for what to say instead.

How much did you lose?

This question might seem harmless or merely curious, but it’s invasive. You’re asking for a number tied to someone’s body, and that number is not your business. Weight loss isn’t just about pounds. It can reflect years of inner work, health struggles, grief or even illness. Focus less on numbers and more on the person.

You look so good now!

Or, “You look so much better now!”

That’s a backhanded compliment at best. People may mean well when they say this. But when you say someone looks good now, it often implies they didn’t look good before. And that can sting hard. Before-and-after comparisons can bring back insecurities from when people were heavier.

Instead, say: “You look amazing” or “You seem really happy. It’s great to see you like this.” That way, you’re complimenting their energy, not just their appearance.

What’s your secret?

There’s no magic weight loss pill (even if it comes in injectable form). Whether someone is on a medication, has made a significant lifestyle change or quietly struggled with fixing food issues for years, asking for the “secret” oversimplifies their journey. It reduces real effort, emotion and complexity into a diet trick. Don’t turn someone’s transformation into a simple solution.

I wish I had your willpower.

This one often comes with a sigh or a self-deprecating joke, yet it’s still problematic. Weight loss doesn’t automatically mean discipline or virtue, and framing it that way only perpetuates shame and comparison. Plus, it puts the other person in an awkward position of either accepting praise they may not feel they earned — or feeling pressured to explain themselves.

Are you ok?

Just because someone looks thinner doesn’t mean they’re unwell, and just because they are unwell doesn’t mean they want to discuss it. If you’re genuinely concerned about someone’s health, ask how they’re doing overall, emotionally and physically, rather than making assumptions about their body.

You’ve inspired me to finally lose the weight.

This might feel like a compliment, but it subtly puts pressure on the other person to stay thin or “keep it up,” as if they’re now your weight-loss role model. It can also trigger feelings of guilt or anxiety for someone who’s still navigating their relationship with food and body image.

You’re so lucky. I gain weight just by looking at food!

This joke may get a few chuckles, but it’s laced with envy and self-criticism. Comments like this turn what could be a moment of support into silent competition, sending the message that body size is a scorecard. We don’t need to evaluate ourselves (or each other) at every opportunity. Let’s choose encouragement over judgment.

Aren’t you done losing now?

Weight journeys don’t come with finish lines. Someone once asked a client of mine this question, and she replied, “What do you think, I’m like a chicken in the oven?”

Whether someone is maintaining, still working on goals or just trying to feel better day by day, this kind of question can feel like pressure or judgment. Instead of asking when they’ll stop, ask how they’re feeling. Health doesn’t come with a deadline or expiration date. It’s built through habits and small choices made over a lifetime.

You should’ve done this years ago.

Oof. Even if you think this is encouraging, it suggests someone wasted years of their life by not looking the way they do now. Trust me. No one needs a reminder of past struggles, regrets or timelines. Celebrate the present. Leave the past in the past.

Go ahead, finish it — you can afford to.

Or, “I’d eat it if I were you.”

Skip the dessert remarks. If someone is limiting themselves to a couple bites of dessert or how much they fill their plate, it’s not your place to comment.

People who maintain weight loss have learned to control how much they eat. Prodding them to put more on their plate is not a favor. They don’t owe anybody an explanation.

Whatever you’re doing — don’t gain it back!

This might be one of the most damaging phrases of all. It carries an implied threat, almost like: You’d better stay like this or else. The truth is, bodies change — with stress, with age, with hormones, with life. Sustainability and well-being are more important than maintaining a certain size forever.

I can’t believe how good you look!

Ditch the disbelief. Even if not intentional, what you’re really saying to them is that you can’t believe they could have done this.

What to say instead

Try saying these instead to someone who has lost weight:

— You seem really happy. It’s so nice to see.

— You look like you’re glowing.

— You look strong, vibrant, confident.

— It’s great to see you.

— I’m so glad we’re together today.

— It’s inspiring to see you reach your goals.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can offer someone isn’t commentary on their body. It’s respect for their journey, however it looks. If you’re lucky enough to be in their life, let your words lift them up … not weigh them down.

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What Not to Say When Someone Loses Weight — Especially Now originally appeared on usnews.com

Update 09/10/25: This story was previously published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.

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