Moving to a new senior living community can be daunting. It’s a significant life change that can stir up anxiety, even if you know that it will ultimately ease loneliness.
Henry Avila “Tom” Sawyer knows the shifting tides of life all too well. A seaman and quartermaster in the U.S. Navy from 1958 to 1961, Sawyer was adept at navigation, regularly plotting courses and reading charts. His father was in the U.S. Army during World War II and was killed in action in France, making Sawyer and his brother Gold Star sons.
Decades later, Sawyer was adrift, drowning in grief and isolation after his wife passed away. Although initially uncertain about how he would adjust, Sawyer moved from Massachusetts to the New Hampshire Veterans Home in Tilton, New Hampshire, in 2021. Now, he says, he couldn’t be happier.
“This is a place where I can be around people again,” he explains.
Finding the Right Senior Living Community
As a new widower, Sawyer found himself making frequent visits to a Massachusetts veterans center to ease his loneliness. Staff addressed his concerns and presented him with helpful resources and options — including the NHVH.
“I understood there were openings,” he recalls. “The Massachusetts VA dropped me off there so I could look around.”
That’s all it took for Sawyer. After his family toured the facility, they agreed that it was an ideal senior living community that would both honor Sawyer’s military background and provide opportunities for socialization and engagement.
[Read: 6 Tips for Aging Alone]
Adjusting to Life in a Senior Living Community
Sawyer’s transition to NHVH wasn’t smooth — at least at first.
“I was still mourning my wife and a little scared to go out,” he says. “But I started acclimating.”
Leadership
Sawyer is now the president of the Resident Council Committee at NHVH, where he engages with others, brainstorms activities and projects to enrich residents’ lives.
For example, he suggested a new walkway be built by the community’s pond, explaining that it would be both aesthetically pleasing and functional for residents with mobility issues. Happily, his idea came to fruition.
Activities
Sawyer also participates in many of the recreational programs NHVH offers, such as:
— Card games, especially cribbage and Kings in the Corner. Sawyer has even introduced other residents to games he used to play, including pinochle.
— Word searches
— Outings. “It’s not like I’m sitting around doing nothing,” he says, recalling one trip to a nearby cinema he particularly enjoyed.
An outdoor enthusiast, he’s also a fan of taking walks and admiring the NHVH grounds.
“I like their courtyard areas, the gazebo and enjoy sitting under the pavilion in the fresh air,” he says.
Sawyer also had a particularly special experience at NHVH. He never had the opportunity to visit his father’s grave in Lorraine American Cemetery in Saint-Avold, France. But thanks to the help of NHVH and their many connections, he was finally able to visit in 2023.
“That meant the world to me,” he says, recalling the exact row and grave number.
Convenience
His daily needs are taken care of at NHVH.
“I don’t have to cook or clean,” he says, adding that he enjoys the dining options and has his own room, recliner, radio and television. “It’s just comfortable.”
He also finds assurance knowing that there is on-site medical staff so residents have access to care right away if the need arises.
[Read: What Is Life Like in an Independent Living Community?]
Expanding Your Social Circle
Residents who move to a new community may be wondering how to make friends.
“If you’re nervous about moving into a place, that’s normal,” Sawyer says.
His suggestions for ways to interact with other people include:
— Taking your time
— Focusing on simple conversations
— Introducing yourself by simply saying hello or asking what someone used to do for a living
— Finding something in common
Moving to a senior living community doesn’t mean never leaving the building, he adds. Sawyer welcome visits from his brother, for instance, and spends time with one of his daughters. They’ll go out to eat, bowl or just enjoy nice conversations. They’re also not strangers to FaceTime, which allows him to connect with people outside his home.
[READ: Dating for Older Adults: Is it Really That Different?]
Making Each Day Count
Not every day is the same for Sawyer, and it’s that ebb and flow of routine that Sawyer enjoys the most.
“Some days I sit in the dining room and just talk with people. Other days I play cards or go on trips. You never know what the day will bring,” he says.
He fondly recalls one day that illustrates how active he was:
— A tasty breakfast to start the day
— Tai chi exercises
— Going to a local cinema known for its comfortable chairs and meals that are served while watching
— A Resident Council Committee meeting
— Socializing with other residents
Reminiscent of his military career, Sawyer navigates life well at the NHVH, approaching people and activities with an open mind. In tandem with caring staff, he continues to chart new directions that always keep him moving forward with ease.
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