Connie Korteland, 82, was used to being active and able to get around when her health changed rather quickly.
“We had recently moved to the area, and so we had a lot of work to do around the house,” says Korteland, who lives in Newark, Delaware. “I was busy shopping and moving things around when all of a sudden, I started falling — my balance was off. After that, I couldn’t leave the house as much. I was home alone a lot. I started feeling pretty lonely then.”
In our modern world, Korteland’s story is not unique. Hard-wired for social connection, humans traditionally have lived in multi-generational groups in which older people, after raising their children and helping with grandchildren, would be cared for by the younger generation.
But today, many seniors who are aging in place in their own homes are aging alone, often without family nearby.
Coupled with the physical limitations and health issues that often prevent older people from getting out, this situation is a recipe for isolation, which can lead to loneliness. In turn, loneliness can affect your health for the worse.
The 2023 National Poll on Healthy Aging found over one in three (34%) of older adults felt isolated and suffered lack of companionship (37%) in the past year.
These trends led the U.S. Surgeon General to issue an advisory in 2023 calling attention to the country’s public health crisis of loneliness, isolation and lack of connection.
However, the situation for seniors isn’t hopeless. If older people can reconnect and find joy with their community, family and friends, the outlook for their health — both mental and physical — can improve.
“It’s not about how long you live but, rather, what kind of quality of life you have while you are living,” says Steven Barlam, a social worker, certified care manager and president of Aging Life Care Association. “When Mondays are like Thursdays are like Saturdays, life can be rather drab, miserable and meaningless. Meaning is critical to people’s sense of well-being.”
Fostering social connections through meaningful activities, encouraging interpersonal interactions and finding support systems are critical. Here’s how to do it.
Causes of Loneliness in Older Adults
As we age, older people can become more socially isolated due to increasing health issues and external social changes.
According to a recent U.S. News & World Report survey of senior living community residents and their families, the top causes of loneliness include:
Physical disability or lack of mobility
Older people may also be less able to get out and about due to physical issues.
This may prevent them from walking to community gathering places, such as churches, synagogues, senior centers, libraries or coffee shops, Barlam says.
Memory loss
Memory loss in older adults can lead to social isolation as it causes them to struggle to recognize familiar faces or recall past conversations. This can make social interactions feel confusing or overwhelming.
Studies show that memory loss and other signs of cognitive decline have a bidirectional effect on loneliness — meaning, while impaired memory increases the risk of loneliness, loneliness can worsen this decline in memory and cognitive function by reducing cognitive stimulation.
Separation from family and friends
Once the adult children have left the home, parents, particularly mothers, may feel a lack of purpose, especially if their children moved far away.
“Women are disproportionately affected by loneliness, potentially due to their roles as primary caregivers, which can leave them without sufficient care for themselves,” says Michele Kerulis, associate professor with the Family Institute at Northwestern University and director of community engagement.
Younger family members with busy, stressful lives might not have the time or energy to spend with older adults.
“Life has become more complex for families due to economic, political and work-life stressors, which contribute to families’ level of connection with their senior members,” Barlam adds.
Chronic health condition
Research shows that older people with poor physical, mental or cognitive health are at higher risk of persistent loneliness, because they’re not able to leave their home as frequently as those in better health. And loneliness worsens their health.
“This indicates a cyclical relationship where loneliness and poor health feed into each other,” says Eileen Graham, associate professor of medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, who conducted a 2024 meta-analysis that found feelings of loneliness increase as we age.
Recent death of a spouse
As spouses pass away, this extreme grief can be heartbreaking and a major cause of loneliness.
But it doesn’t just have to be the loss of a spouse. The death of relatives and friends can lead to lost connections and shrinking social networks, Graham says.
Worsening vision or hearing problems
Losing sight or hearing makes it difficult to engage in meaningful ways, Barlam says.
“If you can’t hear or see well, connecting with people becomes one-sided, and that doesn’t lead to meaningful connections,” Barlam says.
Other causes of loneliness in older adults include:
— Retiring from working. Work provides social structure and opportunities for interactions with others. This is lost in retirement, Graham says. Work can also be fulfilling and meaningful, so ending that part of life can leave a big hole.
— Lack of transportation. It also may no longer be safe for older people to drive, so seniors may have a hard time finding the means to get anywhere.
[Should You Move To A 55-Plus Community?]
Signs of Loneliness in Older Adults
Friends and family should be on the lookout for subtle signs of loneliness in their older loved ones.
“It’s not something that is easily visible to the naked eye, unlike some other emotional states,” Kerulis says.
Common signs of loneliness include:
— Apathy
— Disengagement or social withdrawal, such as not going to activities, answering the phone or calling others
— Changes in level of activity, such as becoming more sedentary
— Not attending to self care, such as not getting dressed, attending to personal hygiene or other activities of daily living
— Not attending to medical care needs or missing doctor’s appointments
— Boredom
— Increase or decrease in appetite
“What you might see is a person no longer attending activities, or they stop answering the phone or calling at a regularly scheduled time. They may make comments about wanting to connect but not being able to,” says Amanda Krisher, a social worker and associate director of behavioral health for the National Council on Aging.
The Challenges of Spotting Loneliness
Older people themselves may not notice any outward signs of loneliness. Symptoms to pay attention to include changes in your mood, well-being or self-perception, which can point to loneliness. They might also have persistent feelings of emotional distress or a mismatch between expected and actual social contact.
“Loneliness can ‘hit hard’ and impact a person’s sense of self in a way that other emotions may not,” Kerulis says.
It’s important for older adults to first identify and understand their own baseline of well-being, so that they can notice these changes.
“The subjective, hidden nature of loneliness and the difficulty older adults may have in recognizing it and its overlap with other mental health factors all contribute to the challenges in identifying loneliness,” Graham says.
The best way to determine if someone is suffering from loneliness is to ask them about it.
Questions you can ask:
— What feelings have you been having lately?
— Is it upsetting to you to be alone?
— Do you want to find more ways to connect with others?
[The Truth About Depression in Older Adults]
Loneliness vs. Social Isolation
Loneliness and social isolation are two different things.
Loneliness is a distressing feeling of being alone or separated from others, while social isolation is a lack of social contact or having few people to interact with regularly.
A person may choose to be more isolated from others, or being isolated may not bother them. On the other hand, the feeling of loneliness, while subjective, is not a choice.
If a person wants to have more social connections but can’t, that can lead to increased isolation, which can reinforce loneliness.
“Typically, you see isolation first,” Krisher says. “Loneliness and isolation can be a vicious cycle. It’s a chicken and egg kind of situation.”
Impact of Loneliness on Senior Health
Loneliness has a greater impact on physical, mental and cognitive health in older adults than obesity or a sedentary lifestyle.
“A lack of meaningful social connection can increase the risk of premature death to levels comparable to smoking every day, which underscores the serious health consequences of loneliness,” Graham says.
In addition, loneliness can exacerbate mental health conditions, which in turn can lead to further isolation and physical health problems.
Current evidence also suggests loneliness has a wide-ranging impact on cognitive decline.
Loneliness in older adults has been shown to increase the risk of:
— Anxiety
— Dementia
How Can Social Connection Boost Health in Older People?
Maintaining social connections can help slow down declines and mitigate health challenges.
Social interaction can replace older adults’ lost social roles and structures, such as retiring from work or having grown children leave the family home.
Krisher says feeling healthy emotionally also helps us follow healthier habits, such as:
— Managing stress, anxiety and depression
— Having healthier eating habits
— Engaging in more physical activity
— Getting more sleep and better sleep quality
Tips for Combatting Loneliness in Older Adults
Given the obstacles they face for having more social interaction, how can older people find ways to make meaningful connections? Here are our experts’ suggestions.
Express your feelings
“There’s nothing wrong with you if you experience loneliness. It is common, and the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness can be addressed by talking with others about your feelings,” Kerulis says.
If you’re concerned about loneliness in an older loved one, check in with them to see how they are feeling, particularly if they aren’t acting like themselves.
Seek help
Speak with a mental health counselor about loneliness, or use resources like Mental Health America’s virtual support communities.
You can also discuss any social anxiety you have about getting out there again.
“Once someone is out of the habit of connecting with others, they often have a difficult time re-engaging, but it’s sort of like going to the gym — not always easy to start up, but once you get going it feels good,” Barlam says.
Another option is reaching out to an aging life care manager, such as those at Aging Life Care Association.
“These professionals can develop a customized plan to help with getting the senior connected to services and resources that could enhance their quality of life,” Barlam says.
Get creative
Finding ways to process your feelings can mean journaling or writing, or expressive art forms, such as painting or playing music.
It may seem counterintuitive, but focusing on solo activities can help you feel more engaged with life, and put you in a better frame of mind for making connections with others.
Exercise
Even those with physical challenges may be able to do limited physical activity, such as a water aerobics class.
“Use exercise to experience ‘feel good’ neurotransmitters like dopamine, to try and develop a more pleasant mood,” Kerulis says. “Exercise won’t solve all of your problems, but it can enhance the mind-body connection.”
Once you’re in a better head space, you may feel more comfortable reaching out for connection.
Pursue your interests
Think about what’s important to you, what you liked to do before and how that can be brought to the present with a little adaptation, Barlam says.
With a variety of activities to fight depression, choose a hobby you used to love, take an online or in-person class or join an online or in-person group with others who share the same interests, like a book or gardening club.
Make plans
Even a regularly scheduled phone or video call with a family member or friend can help boost your spirits and break up the monotony of the days.
“Marking time in meaningful ways and creating things to look forward to truly makes a difference, positively impacting quality of life,” Barlam says.
Think about others
“Instead of thinking about what you can do to help yourself, think about what you can do to help your community and people around you,” Graham says.
Maybe there’s someone else in your neighborhood who could also use a friend. Or if you are physically able to, consider volunteering for a cause you care about.
Giving of yourself can help you find meaning and worth in your life.
Join social groups
Social groups, like many local organizations and community-based groups, have in-person or virtual meetups and activities for seniors. Look into:
— Local churches
— Local senior centers or adult day services
— Local parks and recreation centers
— Local colleges or universities
— Local libraries
Arrange transportation
Some senior groups may have door-to-door transportation or volunteers who can pick you up.
Your town or county may also offer publicly funded curbside transportation you can schedule. To find services near you, contact:
— Eldercare Locator online or call 1-800-677-1116
— Rides in Sight online or call 1-855-607-4337
— National Aging and Disability Transportation Center for additional resources
Look for companions
For 82-year-old Korteland, a non-profit called Lori’s Hands, which matches up volunteer seniors and college-student companions, was a perfect fit.
“Lori’s Hands really helped so much because they were young and they were fun! In terms of my socializing, I am so much better,” Korteland says.
The young people benefit from the older person’s experience and wisdom, and the older people benefit from the social connection.
“They talk about their school, what they’re majoring in, when they have tests. I taught at Neumann University for 25 years before I retired, so I can talk to them about being in school,” Korteland says.
Even though the college students have a different style of communicating, Korteland enjoys connecting with them because they have a different take on life, which she says helps broaden her worldview.
“The young women are just fabulous, and I love talking with them. They were here yesterday — we laughed and told stories,” she says. “Having young people come in when you’re an old folk like me, it makes me smile.”
Consider senior living
If you’re ready to move out of your home, a senior living community can be a great place to connect with other older adults who are going through a similar life transition.
In fact, data shows that moving into a senior living community can significantly improve a person’s feeling of loneliness and social isolation. According to the U.S. News survey on loneliness:
— 61% of older adults reported improvements to their feelings of loneliness or isolation after moving into a senior living facility
— 65% of older adults say it has been easy to meet other seniors after moving into a senior living facility
— 85% of older adults report making friends since moving into a senior living facility
Senior living communities provide older adults with a variety of daily opportunities for social interaction and engagement — such as shared meals, group activities and classes — to combat loneliness. There are even 55-plus active adult communities, a type of senior living campuses, that can offer health- and fitness-oriented older adults with more social opportunities around their shared interests.
For those who are not at risk for feeling lonely, these services and amenities may seem nice to have. But for the many older adults who experience loneliness and social isolation, these offerings are critical for their well-being. While two-thirds (69%) of seniors felt lonely a majority of the time prior to moving into a senior living community, that number dropped to 42% of seniors after they moved into a senior living community.
To help you or your older loved one find the right senior living facility for you, check out U.S. News’s Best Senior Living ratings to explore community options in your area. The ratings analyzed data from approximately 400,000 residents and families from more than 3,500 senior living communities across the country and evaluated satisfaction rates on safety, caregiving, management, staff, food and dining and activities.
Bottom Line
Experts agree that being socially connected helps us live longer and healthier lives.
“When we experience meaningful connections, it improves our physical and mental well-being,” Krisher says.
Korteland urges older adults to find opportunities to connect. “Get involved in something and be creative about how to connect with people,” she says. “Take some steps to find people and you’ll see you won’t be lonely anymore.”
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Loneliness in Older Adults: Challenges and Remedies originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 03/21/25: This story was published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
