It’s easy to get stressed about money. Inflation hasn’t helped, nor has Congress arguing over the debt ceiling, and ever since the first bill was paid, it was likely that money stress was a thing. Meanwhile, all year-round, there are chances for plenty of financial stress. Maybe you’re trying to save up for a summer vacation while also thinking about home improvements or back-to-school expenses that you’re going to incur. And before long, you’ll be thinking about all of the holiday spending you have to do, and after that, there’s taxes to consider.
So if you’re frazzled and wishing you knew how not to stress about money, it’s no wonder.
Even though inflation has improved, it’s still ever-present in everybody’s lives. According to the Consumer Price Index, the price of everything, on average, is 4.9% more expensive than it was a year ago. That’s actually good news. About a year ago, inflation was a lot worse.
Still, lack of money and anxiety tend to go hand in hand. What’s a financially crunched person feeling acute money stress to do?
Get help, suggests Darren Moore, a licensed psychotherapist in Columbus, Georgia. He says that might mean getting financial help or medical help or both.
“A financial advisor can help develop the most effective financial strategy, and a mental health professional can help discuss the impact these changes might have on the couple and family relationship,” Moore says.
Of course, if money is tight, you may feel like the last thing you can do is pay for professional help.
But you have to do something, and you should.
“There are different kinds of money problems, ranging from true poverty to having too much credit card debt to not being able not afford a vacation this year — and everything in between. But no matter what the circumstances, if you are unable to make ends meet, it will wear you down, physically and emotionally, and in every other way,” says Naomi Angoff Chedd, a licensed mental health counselor and director of counselor support services at Counslr, a text-based mental health support platform.
[READ: The Cycle of Poverty: Traps That Keep You Poor.]
“Money worries often change behavior, almost always in negative ways. It can affect your sleep, your ability to concentrate, your ability to do your job, your relationships with family and friends, and it certainly affects your self-esteem,” Chedd says.
So, in light of May being Mental Health Awareness month, we reached out to some experts to get their thoughts on what you should do if you’d like to take a do-it-yourself approach to financial anxiety and solving money stress.
Run Toward Your Financial Problems, Not Away From Them
Sit down with your bills and a calculator and start trying to see just how big of a financial hole you’re in.
“In my experience, the greatest source of financial stress and anxiety is the fear of the unknown. We’re often terrified of digging into our numbers and finding out bad news,” says Chris Janeway, a certified plan fiduciary advisor and the founder and president of Fourth Point Wealth, a financial management firm in Newport Beach, California.
“The reality is, the truth is a liberating thing. More often than not, the fear is worse than the facts of anyone’s situation and once we pin down the facts, we can create the steps to progress forward,” he says.
None of this is to say that once you crunch the numbers, you’re going to feel great. If you’re really in a financial bind, being more aware of how bad things are may make you feel even worse. But Janeway is right: No one can get out of a financial hole without understanding how deep it is. If you can figure out just how bad things are, that knowledge can often serve as a pretty good flashlight.
Create a Financial Plan and Share It With Your Household
Revamping your budget — or starting a budget for the first time — is your next step.
You may also need to start a plan to pay down your debt. That might mean getting help from a professional, like going to see a credit counselor. It could mean hiring a financial advisor or working with the IRS to pay back taxes.
Maybe your financial plan is simply that you’re going to look for a new job, one that pays more money.
But assuming your financial plan involves cutting back on expenses, you need to make sure that you’re not the only one in your home fighting what can be a very lonely battle. If you have a spouse, partner or teenagers, looping them into the financial picture could help combat your stress — and keep everyone from blowing up your budget.
“My wife and I, each year, use a date night to sit down with our computers and map out holiday travel, shopping lists and a budget,” Janeway says. “It can seem tedious, and it is, but we leave that date night with a plan that builds trust and reduces an incredible amount of stress as we head into the holidays.”
Use Positive Language When Thinking of Your Financial Situation
Look at the bright side. Kelan Kline, who runs the personal finance blog The Savvy Couple with his wife Brittany, says positive talk is part of financial self-care. He says that it’s very important to not beat yourself up.
He offers up the classic example of not having enough money for the holidays.
“If you don’t have as much money as you’d like to spend on gifts, decorations and other holiday purchases, don’t get down on yourself,” Kline says. “When trying to cut down on spending, focus on the positive. For example, instead of saying, ‘I can’t afford that Christmas gift I want to give,’ reframe it as, ‘I have the opportunity to give a homemade gift from the heart.’ This change in language can help you remain relaxed and gain a sense of empowerment.”
While empowering language can’t always turn a cloudy day into a bright one, it’s better to try and reframe a situation positively rather than dwell on the negative. For instance, if you’re paying your rent or mortgage every month and feeding your family, you are succeeding. Maybe not as much as you want, but you’re holding your own.
Remember: You’re Not the Only One Experiencing Financial Problems
If you spend a lot of time on social media, some people you follow may occasionally mention a scary health issue or a frightening moment, like a car accident, but it’s rare that you see posts saying, “Wow, I have $18 in my bank account, and I’m not getting paid for another three days.”
So heed some advice from Joshua Zimmelman, managing director of Westwood Tax & Consulting, a New York City-based virtual accounting firm.
“Remember that you’re not alone,” he says. “Financial anxiety is super common. According to the American Psychological Association, money issues are a major source of stress for most adults.”
He adds that it may not make your own money situation any less stressful, but hopefully you can take comfort in knowing that a lot of other people feel the exact same way.
Zimmelman is correct about that. A survey by FinFit with Salary Finance, which surveyed 2,000 Americans, found that almost 60% of those making under $55,000 a year feel financial stress, but nearly 40% of those making over $200,000 experience it, too.
[See: Money Moves You Will Be Thankful For.]
Make Some Room in the Budget to Splurge
Remember to not beat yourself up too much — or at all — if you occasionally spend money on something you don’t need.
If you like to go to the movies, or you refuse to give up a beloved coffee drink or you’re purchasing a toy for your kid just because you want to, and you know the money would be better spent on something else — don’t beat yourself up.
Yes, staying within your budget is important, but so is financial self-care. Nobody’s suggesting that you should be reckless with your money, but keep in mind that being too rigid with how you spend your money can also be somewhat reckless. Even when inflation is high, sometimes we all need to splurge.
Identify the Causes of Any Bad Financial Habits
Some people simply don’t have enough money. They aren’t spending badly; they just don’t have enough to spend. But you may be in the other camp, where you always pick up the check when dining out with friends, or maybe you always have food delivered when you could be picking it up yourself or making it at home.
“Identify the circumstances and triggers that lead to unhealthy spending,” Chedd says. “Do you order things that you want — but may not need — online? Do you buy on impulse when you are in the check-out line?”
If you are mismanaging your money and can figure out where you’re always going wrong, developing better financial habits should give you more funds in the bank and a little less money stress.
Take Care of Yourself
“Healthy eating, sleeping, regular exercise and relaxation will contribute to your ability to remain calm, clear-headed and more able to find solutions to your problems, even your financial problems,” Chedd says.
She suggests identifying activities “that are fun, relaxing and do not cost money — or cost very little. Going for a walk in the woods or along the water can do wonders for your mental, physical and financial health.”
[Read: Fun Summer Activities That Won’t Break the Bank.]
Consider Getting Professional Help
Again, that might be financial help or someone like a mental health counselor. And, yes, professional help is going to cost something, which will add to your stress — but it may not cost you anything or at least less than you think.
“Seeking mental health treatment does not always require a lot of funds,” Moore says. “Depending on where a person works, they may actually have access to free resources including mental health as well as financial advisors through employee assistance programs.”
He adds that about 20% of his clients are referred to by their employers, and their employers generally cover anywhere from two to 10 appointments as part of their employee benefits. So if you’re really feeling anxious over money stress, you could talk to somebody about it for free.
And if that’s not in the cards for you? “There are mental health professionals that offer services that are pro bono or at a reduced cost. Also, there are educational programs that offer services that are pro bono or at a substantially reduced cost,” Moore says.
Finding those services will cost time, of course, but at least not money.
“People might be able to gain access to resources through their medical insurance specifically if their medical insurance coverage includes mental health benefits — which could be completely covered or at a significant reduced cost, such as a copay,” Moore says.
And, of course, it must be said that if you’re feeling seriously or chronically depressed or suicidal, you could and should get help very quickly. Chedd says that you can call 988, which is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or text 741741, which would put you in touch with the Crisis Text Line, a global nonprofit that provides a free mental health texting service.
But if you feel like it’s professional financial help you need for your money stress rather than a therapist, there are free places to go for that as well, says Howard Dvorkin, a certified public accountant and chairman of the debt education website, Debt.com.
“There’s no shortage of free assistance,” Dvorkin says. “Your bank or credit union probably offer free online budgeting tools that can help you squeeze every last dime from your income. Nonprofit credit counseling agencies … offer you a free, in-depth debt analysis over the phone.”
And if you want some monetary guidance for your money stress, Dvorkin says that after experiencing a couple years of historical inflation, getting financial professional help may be your best bet.
“Do-it-yourself solutions are mostly played out,” he says. “There are only so many coupon and gasoline apps you can download.”
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How to Manage Money Stress originally appeared on usnews.com
Update 05/22/23: This story was previously published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
