While the nightly news often carries stories of how religious affiliations can be a force behind terrorism and wars, for many people, religion, faith and spirituality are important aspects of being a whole and healthy person.
In a recent small survey, Seniorly, a senior living referral company that uses technology to track short- and long-term openings in communities, found that respondents ranked health and faith highest among factors that people feel are most important as they age. Arthur Bretschneider, founder and CEO of Seniorly, says the company wanted to look at faith as a dimension of healthy aging because historically speaking, religion and faith have often been seen as a means of coping with a fear of aging or death. The survey of 242 respondents from the company’s database of contacts seemed to indicate that people who cultivated some form of spiritual or religious life had less fear about aging.
“One big takeaway from this survey is that there’s clearly a belief that religion or spirituality leads to more healthy aging, and the reason why is because a lot of faith and religion is about rituals, and these rituals are activities,” such as going to church where people socialize and interact with each other. “The data is clearly showing that activities are the No. 1 reason that people do not fear aging, so less fear and less anxiety lead to healthier aging,” he explains.
Other studies have also drawn a connection between our inner worlds and our ability to cope with life’s difficulties. A 2016 report from the Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention and Treatment in Miami linked a spiritual outlook with resilience in the face of trauma, which may have similarities to aging. “The challenges facing older adults could easily be viewed through the lens of trauma,” says Rev. Jennifer L. Brower, a minister with the Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock in Manhasset, New York, who has worked extensively with older adults as they near the end of their lives. So much changes as we age, and there’s a lot to come to terms with as life’s hourglass empties that can be difficult for many people to reconcile. For some, a connection to religion, faith or spirituality can help, but Brower notes these needs often change over time. Finding appropriate ways to tend to that area of life is something we should all consider, whether we think of ourselves as religious or secular.
[See: 10 Lessons From Empowered Patients.]
Although the terms are sometimes used interchangeably, there are differences among faith, spirituality and religion. Brower defines faith as trust without reservation, spiritual practice as connecting with that which makes us come alive and religion with feeling bound to others or a higher power. She says all three can be “sources of strength and grounding in times of trauma. Having those tools in your toolbox would certainly improve one’s experience of aging.”
Spirituality and Aging
Spirituality typically refers to the “breath of life” or the animating force that makes one feel alive. “Your spirituality is the expression of that vital or animating force and what brings it most to life,” Brower says. The term spirituality could describe the feeling you get from most anything — whether it’s gardening, painting, spending time with family or being engaged with a religious community. “When we’re talking about cultivating or tending to our spiritual lives, we’re tending to that part of us that feels most vibrant or lights up, that’s connected to the force of life that runs through all living things.”
This connection to spirituality often changes over the course of one’s life. “We experience the world differently as we move through different stages of life, and we’re brought to life by different things.” How we experience life through the vector of a changing body that perhaps loses ability with time can alter a person’s engagement with spiritual offerings. For example, where a younger person might enjoy long walks in nature, an older adult may need to find that spiritual connection to nature in another way as walking becomes more difficult.
Brower notes that for many people, opportunities to find new spiritual connections increase over time as we learn more about the world and have new experiences. “The thing that lights us up at 75, we may have had no idea about at 35. We hadn’t yet climbed a mountain or discovered meditation, so the opportunities for an expanding spiritual life grow over the course of our lifetime if we’re open to growing in that way.”
Faith and Aging
Religion and faith, again often used interchangeably, connote different aspects of our internal life. Brower says faith relates to a sense of trust. Citing a quote commonly attributed to the late William Sloane Coffin, a Christian clergyman and peace activist, “there is nothing anti-intellectual in the leap of faith, for faith is not believing without proof but trusting without reservation.” Faith is a “trusting in God or Christ if you’re Christian. Or in the universe if you’re an atheist,” and so on, Brower says. Faith can provide assurance that not everything needs to be proven and that “we’re going to be OK and that we can help others be OK.”
In the context of aging, faith “comes down to who you are at the core and what were your life-shaping experiences? Can you feel trusting of yourself even as your body becomes strange to you? Can you openly accept and trust in those who maybe now need to be part of your life, such as doctors or medical professionals or a home health aide or your own adult children?”
Religion and Aging
Religion, on the other hand, comes from the Latin word religare, meaning to tie or bind, Brower says. “We’re bound together in whatever religious group or congregation we’re part of, which truthfully could be said of any community whether (it’s based on a religious) creed, culture or commitment to common purpose.” Members of the same religious group subscribe to similar ideas about what it means to be part of that religious group and often engage in religiously-based activities together, as well as other community functions.
The Pew Research Center reports that about 70 percent of Americans identify as Christian, and about 6 percent classify themselves as non-Christian, including Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or another religion or faith. Nearly 23 percent of Americans describe themselves as religiously unaffiliated, which includes atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular.”
Brower says that religion-based connection to other people who share similar beliefs or goals gives many people comfort, because as is often said, there is strength in numbers. If you’re weathering a particularly difficult aging process, having others to rely on, whether it’s a religious community or other group, can help you withstand the hardships you’re facing. “The power of the community to hold you up when you would otherwise fall counts for a lot and can be incredibly helpful as we age and as we’re facing new pressures and sorrows,” Brower says.
Bereavement and loneliness are some of these pressures that most older adults face, and whether the support comes from a religious source or a more secular community, the fact remains that support when dealing with loss or grief is important. Similarly, continuing to find a sense of purpose in the changed landscape of one’s life after children are grown or a spouse dies, can be challenging, but is an important aspect of healthy aging. Many studies have connected depression and isolation among seniors with a shortened life span. “The great challenges for the well elderly (meaning those 80 years and older) is if you live long enough, you outlive everyone. That’s a terribly lonely place to be. Nobody wants to be the last one standing, but for those folks, the presence of community matters a great deal,” Brower says.
[See: On a Scale From 1 to 10: The Most Painful Medical Conditions.]
Spirituality, Faith, Religion and Assisted Living Options
For some people, a connection to spiritual pursuits or a religious community can help alleviate depression and loneliness and provide a sense of purpose. Finding a way to cultivate these connections may become increasingly important for some people as they move further into old age. Having a compassionate guide or community of like-minded individuals to help you explore such opportunities may be an important factor to consider when determining whether a particular assisted living community or nursing home is right for you or a loved one. Many facilities have religious services on site or a chaplain or other spiritual or religiously-affiliated staff member to work with residents, but not all do. In any case, you should consider this dimension of life when selecting an assisted living community or nursing home for yourself or a loved one.
For some people, continuing to maintain a connection to their parish or temple even after entering a long-term care facility may be important. This can often be challenging because of mobility issues and accessibility — not every place of worship is easy to get to if you no longer drive or are wheelchair-bound. As difficult as it may be, Brower says keeping these older adults connected to their communities, whether it’s a religious group or another community, is important. “We do best if we have the companionship of others that are younger who listen to our stories and tell us something about the world as it is now,” she says. Consider how important access to religious services is to you, and whether that’s available nearby. Might this access become more important as you or your loved one ages? For some, streaming worship services online can help them remain connected; for others, a visiting clergy member can help feed that spiritual or religious need.
“If someone has been a regular participant in a religious community,” Brower says, finding “any way to keep them connected by getting them there” is important and should be a function of the religious community to help make that happen either by transporting older adults who want to attend services or finding other ways to help integrate them into the community in a way that accommodates older adults’ mobility challenges. “Having them there at worship helps us maintain that connection and relationship,” she says.
In addition, Brower says most of us aren’t well prepared for what’s to come as we age. “We’re all only temporarily able,” she says, and finding a way of being more accommodating of changing needs and abilities can help older adults remain in the community longer. She says congregations should “be clear in communicating that people should take care of their physical needs during services. If someone needs to use the restroom, they should go and not sit uncomfortably” until the end of the service. In her congregation, Brower says the “wiggle room — it’s for anyone who needs to wiggle a little” — exists just outside the sanctuary and is a great place for the elderly to see and hear the service while having the ability to move around as needed without disturbing other parishioners. (This area is also good for young children and babies who might need some space to squirm during a service separate from the rest of the congregation.)
This physical gathering with people is an important aspect of how faith, religion or spirituality can be components of healthy aging, Bretschneider says. “When you think about spirituality or these different faith-based approaches to life, a lot of it has to do with physically gathering with people in a community setting. It’s this concept of — you’re getting out of bed; you’re getting out of your room; you’re going and walking and meeting with people and having to engage with those people.” That communication, especially if it’s a meaningful conversation, may help keep your mind sharper, “but there’s a physical aspect of using your body to communicate, too” he says.
To aid in that, Brower says congregations should look to use a microphone or a video display to help those with visual or hearing impairments remain better in tune with what’s going on during a service. In accommodating these various abilities, Brower says “there’s a responsibility of the community to pay attention and keep it comfortable,” and doing so will “make it easier for families to keep loved ones connected” to the community in a positive way.
[See: Easy Ways to Protect Your Aging Brain.]
If actually visiting a church or temple for a religious service is not an option, there may be other opportunities to tend to older adults’ needs for spiritual or religious support. A visiting chaplain can play an important role here, and this service isn’t reserved only for people who subscribe to a specific religious practice. “It’s always a good idea” to speak with a chaplain, Brower says. “Even if you are an atheist, you should still have a chaplain,” as this person can function as simply someone to talk to and help you work through some of the changes you may be experiencing, similar to how a social worker might be a supportive presence for some people. “The chaplain can talk about what has driven you in your life and what your thoughts are now. For the most part, clergy aren’t looking to fix anything. We’re going to let you say what you need to say.” This person may also be able to help facilitate difficult conversations between adult children and their parents that could help ease strained relationships before the parent dies.
Lastly, Brower says that “people die the way they live. If you are spiritually curious and you enjoy the company of other human beings and you like dogs, that’s going to continue until you die. And if you’re a hard or bitter person, a person who’s carrying a lot of scars that have not had a lot of tender care to heal, your dying will reflect that.” For many people, an imminent death causes them to reflect back and consider their lives, and having an opportunity to do that with appropriate support may be very important to them. There can be much power in those reflections, and being able to engage in them can be an important part of making the most of the time remaining.
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What Role Should Faith Play in Selecting Senior Care? originally appeared on usnews.com
