“You’ll be fine!” “Piece of cake!” “Come on, lightweight!” “Just do it!” The messages we tend to receive in advance of a difficult task can be confusing. The assumption is that claiming we’ll be fine (when failure is a potential option) will make us feel more comfortable, or that claiming the task is easy (when in fact it’s rather challenging) will somehow give us a greater chance of success. After all, persuading ourselves that something is easier or lighter or piece-of-cake-ier than it actually is makes us feel more confident and willing to tackle it, right?
Not necessarily. According to new research out of Drexel University, painting a more realistic picture of the challenges to come may lead to better health outcomes in the long haul. In the study, researchers assigned 262 overweight and obese people to one of three weight-loss programs: behavioral therapy, behavioral therapy plus meal replacements and a program aimed at helping them stock their kitchens with healthier foods. In the third group only, researchers acknowledged how difficult their weight-loss journey would be by saying, “It’s impressive and encouraging that you are taking this step to improve your weight and health, but we need to help you understand the daunting challenges you’re facing.”
[See: Mantras That Get 11 Diet and Fitness Pros Through Their Toughest Moments.]
While none of the interventions worked particularly well for weight-loss over the three-year period, the group that was prepared for challenges showed the best ability to actively make healthy choices long term. In other words, they actually seemed to boost their self-control best when they were told that self-control would be particularly difficult to boost. “Rather than acting as cheerleaders giving encouragement, leaders of weight-loss groups might serve their clients better by providing a more sobering description of the challenges participants face,” said study author and psychology professor Michael Lowe in a press release.
This insight can be applied to efforts outside of weight loss, of course, and actually isn’t so surprising when thinking about our own past experiences. For example, in studying for a test, hearing our parents dismissively say, “Oh, you’ll be fine, stop worrying” isn’t nearly as satisfying as hearing, “I’m so impressed with how hard you’ve studied. It’s important that you did; you know how difficult this test is going to be.” Or hearing a coach say, in preparation for playing the conference’s best team, “We can beat them easily; there’s no reason why we should lose this one” doesn’t quite feel as boosting as, “This is one of the better teams we’ll face all year; it’ll be a challenge to compete alongside them all game, but I know we’re capable.”
[See: 12 Psychological Tricks to Get You Through a Workout or Race.]
Having people provide realistic feedback (“This won’t be easy”) and normalize the emotional experience for us (“I can imagine you may be feeling nervous about this — that’s perfectly OK”) often provides us comfort in knowing that our emotional state isn’t “wrong” or “bad,” but something that lots of others feel, too. Saying these things to yourself works, too, though it’s not easy to do. But if we can remember that others have difficulty with the same task, it may boost our willingness to double down and prove ’em all wrong.
But just normalizing the difficulty of a task isn’t enough. Getting the right advice typically gives us powerful short-term motivation, but that weakens over time without repeated exposure to the message. Rather, those looking to take on daunting tasks need to make real changes to their physical living environments, too. Here are some examples of how this might play out:
For Weight Loss:
— Be real. “It’s impressive and encouraging that I’m ready to lose weight, but I’m facing some pretty major challenges.”
— Change the environment. Consider an at-home consultation with a dietitian to help you create healthy grocery lists, make snack recommendations and hold you accountable to healthy food choices. Find foods that are still satisfying, but less calorie dense. Enlist the help of a willing friend or family member to make regular check-ins and offer mutually agreed-upon consequences for not sticking with your plan.
For Improved Sleep:
— Be real. “I understand that I need at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep to function well the next day, but it’s been so difficult for me to shut off my work and quiet my ‘thinking brain’ before bed.”
— Change the environment. Establish a regular pre-bedtime routine, one that you follow for at least one to two months with consistency (our impatience often leads to us trying something new and, in the event that it “doesn’t work” immediately, abandoning it). Sleep with your phone in another room. Make your room dark. Make your sleep and wake times consistent. Write in a journal before getting into bed as organization (or catharsis). Deliberately reduce or eliminate certain daily stresses. Consider relaxation techniques, meditation or mindfulness training. Ask your doctor about medication such as melatonin in small doses.
For Phone Addiction:
— Be real. “I know I say I’ve got to stop using my phone so much, but I’ve never really done anything about it — probably because I find the whole change unimaginably hard. It’s my comfort — I use it when I’m bored, when I’m anxious, when I’m curious, when I’m moody. It’ll be tough not turning to it in those moments.”
— Change the environment. Delete social media apps (for a weekend, to start). Don’t bring it into the bathroom (try thinking, or just “being”). Don’t bring it into meetings (try listening). Turn it on silent during meals (try tasting).
[See: 9 Surprising Things That Happen When You Go on a Digital Detox.]
For Exercise Adherence:
— Be real. “I know it seems easy to stick with an exercise routine, but I know how difficult it’s going to be to convince myself to go in the winter, after a long day of work or when I’m just in a lazy mood.”
— Change the environment. Exercise adherence appears to strengthen when two factors are present: accountability and social support. Go with a friend. Consider hiring a personal trainer if you’ve got the funds for it. Jot your improvements down in a notebook. Reward yourself with cool gear. Start by focusing on exercises you’re confident with, then progress to more challenging movements. Change your routine every few months to keep your interest sparked and the exercise fresh.
More from U.S. News
How to Make Healthful Dietary Changes Last a Lifetime
10 Healthy Habits of the ‘Naturally’ Thin
10 Ways to Get Better Sleep (and Maybe Cure Your Insomnia)
Tell Yourself This Before Making a Healthy Change originally appeared on usnews.com
