‘Tis the season of office holiday parties, awkward workplace gift exchanges and that co-worker who decks herself out in Christmas sweaters and reindeer earrings every day from now until New Year’s. Holidays at work can actually be a lot of fun — especially with all those baked goods around — but they can also present some etiquette landmines if you’re not careful. Here are six office holiday mistakes you should be careful not to make this month.
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Assuming others share your faith (or lack of faith). Not everyone celebrates the same holidays or celebrates them in the same way. In fact, not everyone celebrates a holiday at this time of year at all! It’s fine to talk about your own holiday plans at work. Just don’t default to assuming that everyone wants to celebrate in the same way you do. This might be obvious when you know your office is staffed by people of diverse religious backgrounds, but in some ways it’s even more important when you think you’re all the same. Chances are good that if you dig under the surface a bit, you’d find that there are still plenty of differences — and it can be particularly uncomfortable to be the one different person in an office that assumes everyone has the same beliefs.
Feeling obligated to get a gift for your boss. Etiquette rules say that gifts at work should flow downward, not upward — in other words, your boss can give you a gift, but you and your co-workers shouldn’t give gifts to your managers. The reason for the rule is the inherent power dynamics in the manager-employee relationship. People shouldn’t feel pressured to buy gifts for the person who has power over their livelihood, and managers shouldn’t benefit from their position of authority in this way. So don’t feel obligated to spend money on your boss this month. If you really want to do something for a boss you like, a heartfelt note in a card or some baked goods are the best way to go.
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Pressuring other people to chip in for a gift for the boss. First, see above about what etiquette rules say about this. Pressuring your co-workers to contribute to a gift for the boss puts people in a really awkward position. They may not want or even be able to afford to contribute, but now they have to worry about how they’ll look to the boss if they’re the one person who doesn’t chip in. Let your co-workers control their own gift-giving, and don’t pressure anyone — explicitly or more subtly — to give money for your boss. And speaking of pressuring co-workers …
Guilt-tripping people for not attending the office holiday party. People have lots of reasons for why they might not attend the office holiday party, from having conflicting family plans to struggling with this time of year for personal reasons to simply not wanting to go. People who enjoy office parties often can’t understand why someone else wouldn’t want to go, and in their enjoyment of the season end up implying other people are doing something wrong by feeling differently. By all means, go and enjoy the office holiday party if you want to! But ease up on colleagues who don’t plan to attend or otherwise aren’t merry enough for you.
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Taking way too much interest in the date your co-worker brings — or doesn’t bring — to the holiday party. It’s kind to talk to your co-workers’ dates and try to get to know a little about them as people. It is not kind to take the presence of a date as license to pry into your co-worker’s personal life, like demanding to know why they’re not married yet, or if they want to get married or how serious they are about each other. And if your co-worker doesn’t bring a date, it’s rude to ask why. People have all sorts of reasons why they might attend solo, like not thinking their partner would enjoy the party or, you know, just being single.
Getting drunk at the holiday party. Office parties can feel like social functions, but they’re still work events. That means that the same rules you’d follow for other work events apply here, including that you shouldn’t drink to excess. Lowering your inhibitions around colleagues — especially to the point that you can’t judge whether you’re annoying or harassing people — is a good way to end up harming your professional reputation.
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Don’t Make These 6 Mistakes at Work During the Holidays originally appeared on usnews.com
