When someone you care about has depression, it can be hard to know how to help. The disease is insidious in that it can lower patients’ own motivation to get better. Their sense of self-efficacy — the idea that they can make any progress against their illness — is diminished, says Dr. Gina Newsome Duncan, a psychiatrist in private practice at Eastover Psychological and Psychiatric Group in Charlotte, North Carolina.
That is exactly where friends and loved ones can step in. “Doing things that can give them a small win can help them feel like they are doing something,” she says. “It helps build their self-esteem.”
Friends and family can’t prescribe medication or conduct therapy sessions, of course. But they can do small things that may have a big impact — new and novel activities “that allow them to have a new experience outside their comfort zone, in a way that is not too overwhelming,” Duncan says. Friends and family can be creative and encourage actions and activities that help them step outside of daily concerns and worries and spark a sense of accomplishment. “I had a patient whose sister did that for her, and it was really a turning point in her recovery process,” Duncan says. “She wouldn’t have done it if her sister hadn’t taken the initiative. That made a difference.”
[Read: 7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Depression (and What to Say Instead).]
Here are eight ways you can help someone you know battle depression.
First, make a plan. “Think about the things the person enjoys doing and make a schedule to do those things,” Duncan says. She calls this “behavioral activation” and explains that “activation precedes motivation. If you wait to get motivated to do something, you probably won’t do it. It can be easy to say, in the moment, that they don’t feel like it, but if it’s on a schedule and has been discussed ahead of time, that can help them get over that hurdle. Scheduling also sets up some accountability on their part to follow through,” she says, which can be a positive reinforcement when they do.
Exercise together. A wealth of research over the past quarter-century has found “promising evidence that any level of [physical activity], including low levels … can prevent future depression,” according to a study in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. Depressed individuals often lack the motivation to exercise themselves, so plan to work out together. Not only is the physical activity helpful for someone with depression, holding the person accountable to go with you also helps build self-esteem, Duncan says.
Walk in the woods. Experiencing nature, says Dr. Drew Ramsey, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Communications, can bring about “a little bump of dopamine from a new experience or a change of environment.” Those with depression often don’t want to go out in public, but an experience in nature, away from others, can provide a people-free change of scenery. Studies from Japan have shown that Shinrin-yoku (“forest-bathing”) lowered concentrations of the stress hormone cortisol and reduced pulse rate and blood pressure. Another study in California found that nature walkers saw lower levels of anxiety, rumination (repetitive, negative thought patterns) and negative feelings or emotions compared to urban walkers.
[See: 9 Things to Do or Say When a Loved One Talks About Taking Their Life.]
Share a meal. Depressed people often overindulge in junk food and may not want to go out to a restaurant, so offer to cook a real meal together. “They eat healthy food and get the satisfaction of eating vegetables,” says Ramsey, co-author of “The Happiness Diet” and other books that explore nutrition and mental health. Help your friend or family member make healthy decisions about what to eat and take credit for doing something positive. “You can say, ‘You made the zucchini, and it was amazing,'” Ramsey says.
Make music. “Music is incredibly transformative,” Ramsey says. “When I am feeling down, I find an instrument — I am not a great musician, but I bang some chords on a piano. There is nothing quite like music, so play or sing, go to karaoke, go sing in church. There is something about that process that really lifts the spirit in a universal way and can help break through depression.”
Encourage alternative therapies. Going to a doctor may seem too much for a depressed person, but acupuncture, yoga, massage therapy and other therapies can help release some of the anxiety and tension that comes with the disease. A March 2017 study, for example, found that yoga and deep breathing classes, along with some home practice, reduced scores on a depression-screening questionnaire by 50 percent or more after about three months.
[Read: How to Help Someone Else Who Has Depression.]
Create affirmations. Those with depression struggle to control negative thoughts, Duncan says. “It’s almost like hearing a negative tape in your head. So retraining the brain by thinking more positive thoughts is important. It takes time, but they have to create a new tape.” Work with the person to write down daily affirmations about themselves or record them on their phone to listen to later. “Help them create a self-talk script to record for them to listen to later,” she says. “I recommend it almost like a prescription: Listen three times a day or before going to sleep.”
Send positive messages. Plan to text your friend or family member every day or several times a day with small but positive messages. “Tell them how you feel about them, that they are loved,” Duncan says, “and send accountability reminders like ‘I love you, did you exercise today?’ or ‘I’m looking forward to going out with you Saturday.'”
These are all small, concrete things that can be extremely effective, Ramsey says. “Keep it really simple. It doesn’t have to be evidence-based mood-lifting rigmarole. These are really simple acts that help people.”
More from U.S. News
7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Depression (and What to Say Instead)
How to Help Someone Else Who Has Depression
Am I Just Sad — or Actually Depressed?
8 Creative Ways to Help a Loved One Suffering Depression originally appeared on usnews.com
