This month, we celebrate National Family Caregivers Month. Started by the Caregiver Action Network (formerly National Family Caregivers Association), it’s a time to heighten awareness of the tireless and heroic work millions of family caregivers do daily. A recent study by Merrill Lynch (surveying over 2,000 family caregivers in partnership with Age Wave) reports caregivers for people with dementia spent an average of 171 hours providing care a month. Twenty-four percent have been providing care for over five years. Many of these caregivers also work outside the home.
Who are these caregivers and what are their costs?
There are an estimated 40 million caregivers in America who provide mostly elder care at a value of a half trillion dollars (that’s $500 billion), according to AARP. Despite the reported increase of male caregivers, the bulk of this effort still falls on the shoulders of women, who spend an estimated $765,000 across 10 years caring for a person with dementia. The direct costs include $517,000 for caregiving, medical and home modification. Indirect costs include lost wages and benefits equaling $248,000, according to the Merrill Lynch study.
[See: How Music Helps People With Alzheimer’s Disease.]
What do caregivers do?
When the care recipient’s needs are minimal, caregivers initially provide companionship. As care needs rise, caregivers will often assist with the activities of daily living. These include toileting, bathing, transferring and eating. For spousal caregivers, these responsibilities are often carried out alone. Older spouses quickly grow both physically and emotionally exhausted. Adult children tend to make better use of community resources, such as in-home care, adult day services and even residential care or assisted living.
What don’t caregivers do?
While caregivers spend most of their time juggling work, parenting and caregiving, the one thing they neglect is to take better care of themselves. Self-care is necessary if a caregiver is to thrive. Spousal caregivers who try to manage caregiving alone are at an even higher risk than adult children. I recall fellow caregivers who passed away before their spouses, leaving the latter to live out their days in care homes. Caregivers dive in, dive deep and keep going without coming up for air. This results in depression, exhaustion and even death.
[See: 14 Ways Caregivers Can Care for Themselves.]
Caregiver, You Matter
This is why The Caregiver’s Voice reminds caregivers: Take a moment for yourself, because caregiver, you matter. It’s important to value the work you do as a caregiver. To thrive, you must find ways to take care of yourself. Just as you take care of your loved one and make sure their needs are being met, you need to acknowledge your needs. Sometimes, this means taking a five-minute respite to care for yourself, too.
One method I use at the end of my presentations is the Caregiver, You Matter Mirror Exercise. Look at yourself in the mirror or use your smartphone selfie camera. At first, you’ll feel awkward looking at yourself for a purpose other than grooming or makeup. Get used to seeing your face. Look beyond perceived imperfections and into your eyes. Say slowly, as you continue looking into your eyes, “I’m a caregiver.” Study your face and how you react when you take ownership of who you are at this time. Then say, “And I matter.” Now that you’re beyond the initial awkwardness, do this one more time. Look at your face. Focus on your eyes. Take a deep breath and, with meaning, say: “I’m a caregiver. And I matter.” How do you feel? Watch this four-minute YouTube video to see how fellow caregivers react.
[See: 9 Habits That May Reduce Your Risk of Developing Alzheimer’s.]
Returning to that caregiving report by Merrill Lynch, despite caregivers’ sacrifice, many see caregiving as a gift of honoring their parent or spouse by providing quality care that preserves their care recipients’ dignity. A significant majority (77 percent) would do it all over again.
More from U.S. News
14 Ways Caregivers Can Care for Themselves
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How Music Helps People With Alzheimer’s Disease
Caregiver, You Matter originally appeared on usnews.com
