For most kids, life far too fast-paced and overscheduled. They’re juggling homework, extracurricular activities, playdates and birthday parties.
Piled on top of all this is the ever-present pull of screens: social media, videos, gaming, text messaging and every other distraction that the internet has to offer a generation that knows nothing about a world in which 24/7 entertainment doesn’t exist. Most tweens and teens exhibit diagnosable signs of anxiety disorder and panic when their phone breaks or the device is taken away as a consequence for some untoward behavior.
For kids of all ages, the pressure to achieve academically, socially and in extracurricular activities can be overwhelming, especially because it starts first thing in the morning, when kids get are often hurried to get ready for school; and it doesn’t end until they finish their homework and flop into bed at night, still not able to fall asleep for another hour or more because they’re too wound up.
[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]
When I tell a parent that a child needs a little downtime, the response I usually get is something like, “He gets too much downtime! He plays video games for at least two hours a day.” The surprise for most parents is that this is not actually downtime. Video games and all other screen-related activities require a child to be fully engaged in problem-solving, competition or socializing — and sometimes all three. A primary reason why kids have trouble falling asleep is that they’re staring at screens too close to bedtime. The activity is overstimulating, rather than calming, and the light from the screen tricks the brain into staying awake, rather than preparing the child for sleep.
True downtime does not involve screens. Rather, even if it is only for 20 minutes a day, kids need to trade in homework, socializing, structured activities and screens for spending time doing nothing much at all — inwardly focused time. Endeavors such as artistic creation, playing outside, daydreaming, solitary, creative play or taking a relaxing bath all fall into this category. Many parents worry that these and similar non-activities are a waste of precious time, especially on school days. They rationalize that even video games are challenging a child’s brain, while such simplistic pastimes essentially do nothing to enrich their child or help him grow emotionally or cognitively. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
To be able to process all the information, knowledge and skills that the brain receives during the day, it requires relaxed, unchallenged time, and enough sleep. Without time off from serious challenges, the brain can’t fully synthesize new information and life experiences in order to make effective use of these in the future. Downtime doesn’t mean that your child’s brain is taking a break. In fact, it continues to hum along just as actively as it might when she is completing math problems or scoring the winning point. During this time, the brain is doing important tasks, like consolidating memories from the day, reviving focus and attention and renewing your child’s drive to learn. If you have ever had the experience of solving a problem during a long shower, you understand the importance of downtime for the brain.
[Read: Teaching Children to Be More in Tune With Their Minds.]
Your child’s brain is not the only beneficiary of having sufficient downtime, either. Children also need to be exposed to unstructured time to learn how to manage their feelings. “I’m bored” is one of the most common phrases parents hear kids utter. Most parents rush in to fill the void, thereby unwittingly handicapping the child, making him forever reliant on others to amuse and occupy him. Kids need to learn how to manage their time and cope with uncomfortable feelings, such as boredom and impatience, and they need to learn how to solve their own problems. Downtime gives them the emotional and cognitive space to recognize that, in fact, there are problems that require solutions, and then gives the brain an opportunity to think deeply about these problems and possible solutions. Kids who are constantly occupied with screens, schoolwork or socializing don’t have the time and space to engage in this kind of higher order thinking and problem-solving.
Finally, true downtime is an important opportunity to de-stress and really relax. Children and teens who are overscheduled are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, burnout and other serious psychological problems. Kids — and especially teens — aren’t adept at regulating their own time, often sleeping too little and packing in too many activities. Parents must constantly remain vigilant to make sure that children have space to take a breath and relax, which sometimes requires setting limits, even when a child isn’t happy about it.
[See: 6 Ways to Help Kids Combat Materialism.]
Of course, every child is different, some requiring more time to relax than others. But all kids — all people, in fact — need unstructured, quiet time. If you see that your child isn’t sleeping enough, or seems more moody, teary or angry than usual, it might be a good time to evaluate whether more downtime is required to help your child feel happier and less stressed.
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Is Your Child Getting Enough Real Downtime? originally appeared on usnews.com
